Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD

[EauRouge]

Previous thread here.

Hello all, I know I'm new but the old thread was full, so here's a shiny new one. This is a thread for adult women who have ASD or ADHD, or suspect they do, to support each other.

Here are some resources that might be useful:

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

Article about women and girls on the spectrum by NAS.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

Info dump complete

Please come and join in!

Good luck, Buffy. I hope it goes well and they listen to you. Can you print out the Everyday Aspergers thing to take with you?

I'm starting with my new counsellor tomorrow, at an Aspergers charity. I've met her before, she did my assessment. She's lovely but I'm still a bit nervous. Not really sure what to say.

I was assessed for ASC (I prefer 'condition' to 'disability') several years ago. The diagnosis was emailed to me and it took me three months to have the courage to open that email. I remember thinking that I had either a broken personality or a broken brain and that the diagnosis would tell me which it was.

I went through a long mourning period after finding out that I was on the spectrum: I felt as though I would never be normal and no one would ever like me or accept me or be patient enough with me to understand that I really do try to be like everyone else but, sometimes, I'm just not 'good enough'.

Gah. That is the most personal thing I have ever posted on the Internet. Ever.

I wanted to join the other thread but it moved too fast. I suspect I might be on the spectrum, but am not sure how to deal with it. I'm dyspraxic as well though I seem to be able to manage that moderately ok.

I have traits of Asperger's. The official line is that it skipped a generation between DF and DS2, but anyone who knows me well realises that the only reason I haven't been diagnosed is that I have developed strategies to compensate. Also dyspraxia and mild ADD. My nickname at primary school was 'fidget'.

I manage to 'pass' as neurotypical in most situations. Thankfully I work in a lovely team who understand my strengths and difficulties.

That makes sense. Sorry it was so uncomfortable. I felt pretty similar at my first assessment- it is hard to know how to act when you've spent so long acting to fit in. What happens next, will you see a psychiatrist?

My counselling appointment went really well. It was nice to not have to answer questions like 'why do you think you felt that way?' and get some practical tips on how to cope with stress. She suggested I set up some sensory bits and bobs in my bedroom so I've got a lava lamp I'm going to put in there and I've downloaded some phone apps with sea noises and stuff like that on there. She also suggested several touchy feely things but I've got a cat that likes snuggling up in bed so I'll probably just use him. I'm going to go back in another month. The counsellor is going to put me in touch with another local mum with Aspergers.

Just reserved a couple of Tony Attwood books from the local library as well.

I forgot to say, my counsellor told me about this publishing company which does a lot of books about Aspergers. I think I might order the one about motherhood.

I was thinking of joining a FB group but I don't want everyone on my friends list to see- does anyone know about privacy settings on FB? Will everyone see that I've joined the group? It's closed but not secret if that makes any difference. Thanks.

Thanks, I might give it a miss for now then.

I hate questions about emotions, I always end up saying "I just feel really, you know ... I don't know". I found this really helpful in explaining why. I wish I'd known about it before; I found that since I couldn't explain how I was feeling, a lot of counsellors would just try and guess (incorrectly) and the whole thing would end up with both of us frustrated and making no progress. I like your explanation though, it sounds very logical to me

Good luck with your follow up.

I didn't really get that they are saying your emotions or your understanding of them must be defective. Maybe I skipped that bit. I'll have to have another read.

Emotions for me are more like pictures. If I could draw a picture (except I am a crap artist) or make a video then I could show people how I feel. But I can't describe it in words, at least not without a lot of difficulty and even then I can't manage to get it exactly right.