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Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD

999 replies

EauRouge · 18/02/2015 09:12

Previous thread here.

Hello all, I know I'm new but the old thread was full, so here's a shiny new one. This is a thread for adult women who have ASD or ADHD, or suspect they do, to support each other.

Here are some resources that might be useful:

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

Article about women and girls on the spectrum by NAS.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

Info dump complete Grin

Please come and join in!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
CrohnicallyInflexible · 01/03/2015 07:05

I have had an initial assessment where the psychiatrist said he was 99% sure I have Aspergers. I filled in a few diagnostic questionnaires and posted them for the psych to evaluate, and I go back at the end of March.

But I've already spoken to my i laws and given them some info in the hope that they can understand me better!

EauRouge · 01/03/2015 08:44

Hello to all the new people. :)

I love that elephant thing, I'm terrible at organising myself and I do just completely forget things. The psych nurse I saw was trying to make out it was avoidance Angry but it's definitely a memory thing. My organisation has improved slightly recently, I've been given a few ideas for new things to try out and a couple of things are working well for me.

One was to get a phone app called Regularly that you can input what you need to do and say how often you need to do it and an alarm goes off (and you also get a lovely colour-coded list). So my cat is always de-flead on time and my floor has been cleaned more in the last couple of months than it has in the last five years. The only problem I have with it is that I get a bit stressed when I don't do something on the right day, but I am getting better at being more flexible. I think.

I also have a massive whiteboard that covers the whole of the side of my fridge and it's divided up into shopping list, meal plan, today's to-do list, tomorrow's to-do list and a space for the DDs to write if they want a snack or a drink, because if they ask me when I'm in the middle of something else I just forget.

Anyway, here are some links about ASD and executive function. I hope they are helpful:

Organisation tips 1

Organisation tips 2

Organisation tips 3

Slideshow about executive function and ASD.

OP posts:
Ineedmorepatience · 01/03/2015 10:38

I am hyperorganised but fall apart rapidly if something changes or doesnt go to plan!

I use my phone calendar now for everything but sometimes over ride it and get fixated on an appointment thinking I am going to miss it! I have turned up a week early for things because of this! Confused

2 out of my 3 girls are on the spectrum and so thrived on my need for routine but one is unbelievable NT and she and I have found it hard to get a balance.

I am seriously considering seeking a diagnosis, I just need to get to the GP to ask for a referral, which is something I find very challenging!

Hey Ho, keep plodding on.

BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 11:02

I find phone reminders quite useless for me, because they don't snooze. So I read it, think "oh yeah!" But if i don't do it immediately i forget. I used to have th
larms for my pill.Oe at i

EauRouge · 01/03/2015 11:03

Good luck going to your GP. If he/she doesn't know about autism then you could always ask for a referral to the Lorna Wing Centre.

Antiquity, I hope you stick around too! I've also not had much luck with employment. I hope your writing goes well.

Here's my Rdos thingy.

Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD
OP posts:
BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 11:08

Three alarms for my contraception pill. One at 8pm, one at 11pm, and one at 7am. I'd often remember at midnight when we were 10 minutes into foreplay! A more relevant reminder definitely seems to work better for me.

I do have a whiteboard, though. It has meal plans, ongoing important things and day to day things I am meant to check along with longer term goals. DS' whiteboard has individual times for being dressed, teeth etc in the morning which is more for me but helpful to him too.

AntiquityIsOld · 01/03/2015 13:45

I'm still here! Hiding every topic but special needs has helped. Today I bought new clothing, mostly the same style but different patterns because that's what I want to wear! Coooomfy! Though I absolutely adore patterns and a woman at the rack I was taking clothes from went "I wouldn't make curtains out of these patterns never mind clothing" which made me laugh inside.

I am not good with reminders either, I mean they're optional really, whatever can be put off and all that! As for starting things in general, I know I had a few things at play, the self esteem issues which counselling helped with. My last OU module which was after counselling I improved 20 grade points for the assignments! Just from feeling confident, and I was going through a rough pregnancy too. Then there's transitioning from one thing to another, stopping my brain from activity x to y is difficult. Then there's the huge fear of becoming obsessed. I have difficulty starting cleaning because if I do I know I will end up in toothbrush and bleach territory at a basic level and completely rearranging the living spaces on a larger level. Or if I start writing it's all I want to do and so I let everything else slide and get annoyed if I'm interrupted.

I remember the first ever do you have autism test I did, which I came out as NT, had a question on it that said do you like organising CD's, maybe part of a larger question about organising things. I had to answer no, but that's because how can one decide the optimal organisation?! Alphabet is popular, but there's the The issues, which I know you ignore it, bit it makes no sense because The is part of the name! Then maybe by genre, or feelings, or era, or colour! I mean how can one decide on a definitive organisational strategy?! One would be rearranging them forever, easier just to leave them in a pile somewhere.

PolterGoose · 01/03/2015 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 14:03

Interesting, this is mine:

Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD
BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 14:12

I'm intrigued - most of the results that seem to be posted are heavily on one side or the other, but mine is more symmetrical, a bit like an 8 or an hourglass. I've seen two more posted like this on various discussion forums but without much discussion or comment on them. One upright hourglass like mine, and one on its side.

PolterGoose · 01/03/2015 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 14:24

Antiquity, I have problems like that on tests. I want to say "Well, no, but no because......" but they don't really work like that. I don't want to "cheat" and say yes but at the same time, no doesn't really work.

I think that's why it's probably better to see a person rather than fill in a test TBH. I had this a lot with the ADD Workbook. It kept telling me that I couldn't possibly have ADD because I didn't have problems as a child. But my problems as a child were much more subtle and masked, because I was clever and academic and the style of learning in my school suited me perfectly. When I am in a very structured environment "First, do X. Now. You have ten minutes." "OK now it's time to do Y. You have five minutes." "Z comes next, do it like this, you have 20 minutes." I do brilliantly at that. When it got to the point of "You have two weeks to plan, execute and rewrite this piece of work. Go." then I floundered massively because I was unable to structure it myself despite having good intentions. And then where a lot of ADDers struggle because leaving things until the last minute reduced the quality, that happened to me too, but I was lucky enough that my "reduced quality" was still pretty good and I am good at working things out on the fly, blagging, talking my way out of situations. I've had a lot of practice!

BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 14:25

Oh I didn't write down the numbers, but a bit of both. Higher on Neurotypical. It was something like 90 and 125.

BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 14:26

97 and 115, sorry.

AntiquityIsOld · 01/03/2015 15:22

I hear you about structure! I was also a last minute type because I have time management problems. I ended up leaving school hating myself because all these people who worked hard didn't do as well as I did. I was the first person in 5 years to get above a D at history A level. So many were crying on results day. I got a C never doing homework and only going to half the lessons. I just read the books. But I certainly didn't achieve my own potential even if it was good for my school and background.

AntiquityIsOld · 01/03/2015 15:24

And I was failing university before I left at the end of my second year. Though I could always do well at the things that really interested me.

CrohnicallyInflexible · 01/03/2015 16:20

The RDOS thingy, I scored 128 aspie and 83 NT. I can't copy and paste the chart, but it was almost circular, squished on the left.

I had a similar problem on the tests the psych got me to fill out. One of the questions was 'how much interaction with others do you need to get through a week?' Answers were none; observing others but not interacting; casual only eg with cashier; phone chat with friend; meet with friend.
I chose phone chat with friend because it was the closest, I would actually need to chat with family but that wasn't on there!

BertieBotts · 01/03/2015 16:45

Right click on the chart and "Save image as" then you can keep it or post on the thread if you want.

Ineedmorepatience · 01/03/2015 17:03

Hmm have just dont that RDOS and scored 150 Aspie and 57 NT Hmm

Say no more! Have to fetch D3 now but will try to paste the chart later!

PolterGoose · 01/03/2015 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience · 01/03/2015 17:27

Have managed it Smile

Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD
Ineedmorepatience · 01/03/2015 17:29

My only spike into the NT side is in relationships which isnt surprising as I have had a long term partner for 24 yrs!!

TheFirstOfHerName · 01/03/2015 18:04

Thank you for sharing this quiz.
My scores were 117 neurodiverse and 83 neurotypical.
I will try to share the graph on my phone.

Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD
TheFirstOfHerName · 01/03/2015 18:06

And I also have an unreliable memory for numbers when I am trying to do three things at the same time. Grin. 112 neurodiverse, 87 neurotypical.

AntiquityIsOld · 01/03/2015 18:18

I am terrible at numbers, I copied and pasted mine. I'm great at years though because they're attached to information. Numbers by themselves are too floaty!