Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD

[EauRouge]

Previous thread here.

Hello all, I know I'm new but the old thread was full, so here's a shiny new one. This is a thread for adult women who have ASD or ADHD, or suspect they do, to support each other.

Here are some resources that might be useful:

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

Article about women and girls on the spectrum by NAS.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

Info dump complete

Please come and join in!

I'm not sure tbh. There seems to be a lot of misinformation about people with ASD and socialising.

I always used to think that I couldn't have ASD because I like socialising. But it does wear me out and I prefer to socialise at home with a few friends rather than somewhere with a lot of stuff going on. And then it takes me a while to recover from it. I suppose a good analogy would be doing a long distance run- fun but also challenging, and something that needs recovery time. I tend to put on an act a bit when socialising, I do it automatically now and I don't think I could stop even if I wanted.

I find that I want to socialise less now I have the DDs because I don't often get a break from conversation, but I'm surprised I scored so highly on the neurodiverse social bit.

I've also read that women are conditioned more to be social and so the ASD can be less obvious. Also if you learn the 'rules' of socialising then it can hide some ASD traits.

Does any of that make sense?

I always find those quizzes have questions that are too vague- maybe it's an aspie thing.

Oh no I'm definitely like that with those self assessment quizzes too, I was saying so in my last post.

I wonder how this affects a person to person diagnosis. I suppose if you got a rigid box ticking person then they might be put off and then say no you don't fit the profile. But then a good therapist would presumably be willing to explore the answer a little more with you and know how to interpret it.

Buffy, perhaps you are only interested in a work context, but something must have appealed to you about research involving people and not, for example, being an artist or a driver or a lawyer or something.

However when I was looking for info about the hourglass shaped result, it came out that that quiz is highly biased towards a theory the author has about aspergers being a "neanderthal" brain pattern and concerned with how to survive in a neanderthal society which might explain some of the strange questions.

I love names. I could tell you the name of any celebrity offspring until I kicked my celeb habit. Now I just Wikipedia the actors from all the TV shows I love (bollocks to others calling it an obsession, I just love stuff & like to know stuff!)

I think I am am way more successful navigating life with a people "obsession" than I would with other types.

I like knowing about people & helping them and predicting how they will behave. Everything people really.

But I know in regular life you're not supposed to remember everything anyone ever told you about themselves because it's "creepy" & "stalkerish" so I pretend I don't.

antiquity Needing to know everyone's name was one of the things that used to stress Dd3 out so much when she first started school!

She had been in a small Pre-school where she knew everyone and she couldnt cope when she didnt anymore.

By the end of yr 1 I think she knew most peoples name and last name!

It was quite incredible. Luckily she doesnt do it any more, her secondary school has 1300 kids in it

I've had to come to terms with knowing I have contradicted myself, but the discomfort is a small price to pay for being able to speak & not ensure my own spoken "perfection".

I don't mean lying, but something like sharing a narrative from a different point of view, or a partial narrative, or to not hurt someone's feelings so you miss a bit out (that one took a long time).

bertie and polter on iPhone, and I can't screen shot because my power button is broken!

And I'm not entirely sure, but I think 'aspie social' might mean a typically Asperger's style of socialising- preferring smaller groups over larger, needing recovery time, that sort of thing. Ie the traits eau mentioned!

This is a really good article on common myths about autism (I might be getting a bit fangirl about Luke Beardon) which includes the socialising myth. I realise now that any doubts I have about having Aspergers is because I still don't know a lot about it.

I was also reading this about self-diagnosis yesterday and thought it was really good. Some people are sneery about self-diagnosis (maybe because saying 'ooh, I'm a bit ASD' is a thing now, but it's not at all the same as a proper self-diagnosis) but I think it's completely valid. It's so hard to get an actual diagnosis, and some people just don't want to go through the process.

And I don't know if anyone saw this doing the rounds on FB but it really made me laugh- and people say those with autism don't have a sense of humour

Well I am in for an interesting week this week, I have a difficult relationship with someone I work with and had an awful day with her last week! I have told my manager that if the same happens this week I am going to make a formal complaint!

Actually what is more likely to happen is that I will allow myself to open my mouth and spill my thoughts, which will probably end with me losing my job!!

This wont be the first time I have done this, bridge burning is my speciality!

To be honest, I am exhausted with pussy footing around idiots generally at the moment and could probably do with a break from working. Shame though because I do actually like my job