STOP PRESS! Live pre-wedding webchat with our very own Kate Middleton, TODAY at 1pm

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello. We're extremely honoured (and just a little bit over-excited) to announce that royal bride-to-be Kate Middleton is coming to MNHQ for a webchat today at 1pm.

A while back, we put in a formal request for Kate to take part in a Mumsnet webchat (nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that) but, truth be told, we weren't that hopeful, given her other pressing engagements this week.

But then, this morning, the Buckingham Palace Press Office rang to say Miss Middleton had some time this lunchtime between her last dress fitting and her first palace-balcony-etiquette briefing - and would be delighted to drop in and chat to Mumsnetters. Apparently, she's been lurking on Mumsnet quite a lot recently and has been finding the Bridezilla discussions a real eye opener.

So, quick, please post your (suitably deferential) questions for Miss Middleton here - and join us for our very first royal webchat at 1pm.

Ok listen up MNHQ, put in call to Gene and he is firing up the Quattro as I type on his way over to you to stamp on all your toys

Don't say I didn't warn you

P.S. He has had his hoops

The media laugh at us anyway though, Tiff. If we had been all hard and cunty, we'd have been a disgrace to mothers everywhere; if we reign the sarcasm in and try to be nice, then we are bovine idiots. You can't win.

If I were you MNHQ I'd quit while I was behind ahead.

The wind up was fun, but this fake chat is wanky. I am mostly annoyed because fakekate has side stepped my questions and there isn't a competition.

I'm going to have a toffee dodger....

Should I get excited about Gene Hunt, or will my hopes be cruelly dashed?

cgolds24 - If I'm absolutely honest and they'd kill me for saying it, I worry about my family. It's terribly hard for them - we are just an ordinary family and this is like a fairy tale but for my sister and my parents, the pressure has been intense. We've all had to learn to live differently and while of course we are all overjoyed at this happy turn of events, I just hope that for them, things go back to normal a bit next week.

I heard on the news that locals in the village are looking forward to Saturday when the media leave so they can get back to normal. I do feel a bit bad if they cannot get to work because of journalists blocking their way. I hope they don't judge me harshly for it.

Will you be trying for a hOneymoon baby?

fake kate - as you are a lurker on here could you tell us if you've ever googled dragon butter. I myself have not.

Dear Kate,

What will your first act as princess of the universe be? Abolishing mumsnet? Orf with their heads and all that?

Oi MissKate - I didn't ask a question about the behaviour of journalists. You're going to get yer vows in a muddle on Friday if you can't even manage a webchat...

WTF is going on here?

S'not really working is it?

Why is fakeKate being so polite?

Whats Wills like in bed?

You really have to learn when to quit you know.

Hmmm...tangential! Toffee dodgers are like jammie but with toffee. They also do chocolate now. We have both.

I saw them advertised at a cash and carry and then toured the supermarkets for them until we located in Asda, where I also discovered they sell chocolate butter. Like Dragon butter must be, obv.

there's always one to lower the tone...

What do you think of all the hilarious lovely things that now have your face on them? I have seen biscuit tins and some rather scary nice commemorative coins, amonst t-shirts, tea towels etc...

Do you phone your gran up every day and have a laugh at what your face is on now? Does she have to phone you and tell you because there is just so much shite that you don't have it all yet?

Will you collect them all and then have a dedicated room for it?

I would.

Your life is probably as surreal as fuck just now.

As fakekate does seem to be channeling MsMiddleton:

• what's with the separate receptions, with your family and friends being banished to the Goring Hotel?

• also do you really think it's a good idea for a smart young 21st century woman to be propping up a heteropatriarchal institution like royal marriage?

• dont' you think you're setting a bad example to small girls everywhere, promoting marriage and being a princess as a female achievement? There has to be more to life than sparkly tiaras and taking a man's name.

Well, I suppose we can't get too upset about the Daily Mail calling us simpering fuckwits- they are the experts after all

HobbGoblin - I do apologise most sincerely for not answering your questions.

any of your friends dared you to do anything naughty like make bunny fingers over the bridesmaids' heads in the photos or wearing a peephole bra underneath your dress and right raunchy suspenders, or trumping quietly at inappropriate moments, or sneaking rude words into sentences in a way that the older generation wouldn't notice (I recommend the Urban dictionary for this - esp. 'dragonbutter')?

I am not sure what dragon butter is - should one Google it?

How much say do you have in things on the day - can you choose the puddings and the disco music? Are you allowed a disco? If you are allowed a disco are you allowed songs which aren't the radio edit version?

I've been given quite a few choices of course, though with an event of this size the planners have done much of the organisation. But yes of course there will be music and dancing (I'm even hoping for a kiss later on in the day ).

What do you think of your second cousin who's a hairdresser - she's nothing like you is she? She seemed nice though. How come you didn't invite any of the more rogueish members of the Middleton side of the family? Some of them have made weird poems about you, you know.

Actually some of my family are attending but I'd rather not answer about individuals as it's open to interpretation. Suffice to say I'm very proud of my family and am glad to related to such nice people.

If you changed your mind on the day, would you even dare to not turn up? That would be mortifying wouldn't it? This was just a hypothetically pondering question by the way. I have to say though 'that'd learn 'im' even though you reckon him splitting up with you was a good thing. It's never a good thing, when you don't want to split up, come on!

I love him Hobb. More than Hobnobs. :)

Are you going to try and stay a bit regular - I don't mean in the roughage sense, I mean in the not turning into a royal weirdo sense. I think your accent is just the right side of RP and I notice you don't do any weird coy demuring alongside William. That's good. The more 'Wife Swap couple' styling the better, like when you almost said William was a crap cook and you had to finsih off your own dinner.

I think within any relationship people change and that's good. Will and I do play to our strengths, like any couple and no, he isn't a great cook. But I hope to remain myself and I'm sure my friends (and Will) would soon tell me if I wasn't being true to myself. (I hope he's not reading this now, I'm sure he'll pop up to contradict me!)

BitofFun

C'mon MNHQ, we all know it's a joke, you've admitted that it's a joke, so why isn't it funny?

You don't know how to stop it, do you?