That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

[MrsWhites]

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

Smokers who go out for a fag just as I am putting food out… not this year cos you’ve been dumped you dickhead !!!!! Rant over 😂

The person who critiques every fucking item put in front of her 'Oh, I prefer vegetables al dente. 'Oh, this is so rich.' and so on. Well I've just cooked three courses and you're not the only one eating it so maybe just eat the bits you like and stfu about the rest, eh?

My MIL yawns operatically every 30 seconds. I cannot cope.

Breathing. In my house.

the person who turns up an hour or more so early - yes you mother - and sits on their arse not doing a tap never offers ignores even direct ask. also comes empty handed
she not invited anymore
the perosn who starts clearing up constantly - yes dear sil- and gets in the bloody way in the kitchen and gives orders to everyone fuck off you bossy b
hence now no one is invited to our house and we turn down invitations to anyone's. just us 2 plus all animals
we will go to someone's house in eve for drinks

That’s so fucking rude, I’d have to say something spiky 😡

@MrsWhites make 2 jugs of gravy!

Oh no can’t understand why I have open plan kitchen and I’d rather be able to shut the door.

i have a separate lounge and I’d rather they were in there

I don’t want to talk to guests while I am cooking, I need to concentrate

DH going for a horrendous poo in the downstairs loo which adjoins the kitchen where we’re all hanging out, drinking and cooking. He’s not a guest though, so does that count?

@RememberHowYouMadeMeCrazy
l love your daughter , can I borrow her ? She sounds like she takes no
messing !

my
dsil who without fail will arrive as I’m playing up ( despite everyone else being there 40 mins early as requested )
i
have started giving her a much earlier time and if she questions it , I say im running a bit late

what i
really want to say is get here on time you inconsiderate bitch , but I don’t , to ensure harmony

We tried giving her her own gravy jug, she got very annoyed and professed that she doesn’t use anymore than anyone else, it caused an atmosphere around the table.

@Oldandgreyer we literally have 4 jugs I think - it’s like the more we put out the more she uses, her plate is literally swimming and she will also attempt to top her plate up if she spots a dry spot!

The one who had an absoute brainwave whilst I popped outside to the garage to get the wine for the christmas dinner ..for me to return not 2 mins later to find the washing machine on..I mean seriously who does that? Tea towels and my oven gloves I was using..ffs the 1400 spin drowning out the kings speech just marvellous

Though I am annoying I say as I love love cranberry sauce. I have my own extra large jar now for dinner 😅

My worst was the couple who brought a couple of wine to dinner and then I found her in my fridge taking a bottle home with her which was kept for a special occasion

Mil who always thanks Dh for a wonderful lunch ( he loves cooking on Christmas Day as he works away most of the year so doesn’t get to cook much ) despite the fact he tells her every year that he couldn’t have done it without me helping him prepare everything and making the starters and desserts and helping him setting it all out in the kitchen for everyone to help themselves and setting the table etc.She still never says thanks to me.Even when she leaves she’ll still thank just Dh for inviting her and hosting.
Thankfully we are going away next Christmas.

We also have gravy gate where the host(who likes things plain and sparse) makes enough for two people who only want a drizzle each.
This results in DH and DBIL asking if there’s more, of course there isn’t, so someone gets up to make more.
After a couple of years, I offered to help prep, so now there’s a vat of the stuff on the hob ready to refill(because they still put out one gravy boat for 12 people).

He goes to preen himself in the mirror in the middle of dinner? 😂
Surely not. There must be something medical going on that he hasn’t shared with you.

Brilliant image of everyone Segwaying between rooms though. If I lived in Blenheim Palace or something I would totally do this. Extra Segways on hand for guests. Painted in Christmas colours. With glitter.

It is though - that's just the fancy term for normal tea

My mother, for whom my youngest was turfed out of his bedroom and had to sleep on the floor, who parked her arse on the sofa and only got off it when there was food on the table, who never offered to help with anything at all, ignored the kids, complained about pretty much everything, and left with the parting shot that the bed had been uncomfortable and I really should do something about it. And I know damn well that the only, and I mean only reason she came was so she could sit on her arse and treat me like a servant for a few days. Never again.

Rude cow. Only in your house?!

DM, who gets her plate loaded first and then doesn't wait for anybody else to finish serving themselves before she starts eating.

There was one year when she actually finished eating her whole main course before anyone else ate anything. I mean, obviously it takes a few minutes for everyone to serve themselves, because it's a special meal and there are a lot of dishes, but not THAT long. So there we all were, chinking glasses and saying Happy Christmas before picking up knives and forks and digging in, and she was sitting there with an empty gravy-smeared plate because she'd already stuffed everything down super fast.

(N.B. This was as a guest - she didn't cook any of it. The meal wasn't served late. She's not diabetic or anything. She's just really weird and rude like that.)

Friend who everyone feels sorry for as no family. Thinks being a guest means you turn up empty handed drink the house dry stuffs face like there is no tomorrow never lifts a finger and then fucks off

Guests who linger around for hours and stay until your eyes are practically closing 😂 Can’t even offer a lift home as I’ve usually had a festive drink or three!

I would have to let her be late and all already be eating, with her meat plated up on the side going cold waiting for her. Don't get up, just tell her to grab her plate and see if there are any roasties and sides left... maybe then she'll get the hint!