That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

[MrsWhites]

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

@sprigatito dear god that sounds hellish

My mother. Staying over. I’m up with my young kids up at six. She emerges around 8 asking for a cup of tea when I’m in the middle of doing their breakfast. ‘Oh, am I making it myself?’ In a slightly plaintive voice. Pops her wineglass from the night before in the sink for me to wash and makes two cups of tea. Oh well, I think, at least she is making me one. Then does a big yawn and says ‘right, I’m just going to take these back to bed for a bit’. Disappears with both mugs. Then moans she doesn’t get invited much 🤣

Some of my siblings used to do this! But emerged at 10 am. And then would complain when we didn’t want to stay up late talking! We did sometimes show willing but it made family visits exhausting combined with young children.

I’ve always since tried to fit in with the rhythm of the household I’m visiting, as I think it can be one of the most helpful things you can do as a guest actually. Don’t work against the system! And also go out for walks and expeditions independently and give your hosts a break!

Now it’s my own youngsters missing breakfast and making bacon sandwiches mid morning, then missing lunch bc they have eaten late. The kitchen is never closed!

English breakfast tea is just a variant of normal black tea - my understanding is some people would use that description when they just wanted normal tea (so not decaf, herbal, etc). Could it be that?

My Mum brings her own tea bags. My husband favours Tetley but Mum likes Earl Grey. I don't drink tea.

You're not the only one.

It is quite addictive reading the comments though.

I've got a bet on with DP whether my MIL will make it through my front door this year without pssing me off.

She has form and usually has fallen out with everyone around the table because she's said something insensitive/ racist/ you get the idea... well before pudding arrives.

I also have four deaf relatives who will all be 'saving the battery' and won't be able to join in with any conversation. Joy!

The food will be good though and my FIL is lovely.

That's funny

Hrft but give her, her own jug of gravy..
Maybe she has trouble swallowing dry food, my DH and DC are the same in this respect..

Oh god we have one of those, she actually told me she’d bought hearing aids but didn’t like them because she could hear things that were far away, so she binned them. Oh right, we’ll all just watch TV with the volume turned up to 4 x its normal level shall we? And she constantly says ‘what?!’ if anyone says anything, even if it clearly wasn’t directed at her 🙄

I don't like milk or soggy bread🤣, eg summer pudding, soggy trifle, so explains why I thought bread sauce was ick the one time I tried it.

A traditional use it up dish though, I admire it for that.

Which is fine.... It there's no excuse for being a greedy selfish cow and taking most of the gravy, without checking there's more etc

Buy the deaf relatives a pack of batteries each as a Chrustmas present.

AFAIK they are mostly likely to be the orange ones

Price is negligible but they could probably get them free if in UK

shop.bootshearingcare.com/category/batteries/13-batteries-(orange)-pack-of-six

Guests who bring fucking Mousetrap which is a bastard to assemble and keep stable, and pairs collosaly poorly with cooking Christmas dinner at the same time.

Guests who take the wine they brought home with them whilst tucking into all our booze.

People who get drunk and dredge up every last grievance from the start of time.

People who insist on fucking off out on a Christmas Walk especially if it coincides with me doing the dishes, yeah thanks see you later although does mean I can polish off aforementioned booze without judgy looks.

People bringing their odd personal traditions into the day e.g. only one present before lunch, kids handing out adults presents before their own, thinking of Kevin in Motherland and the "putting the advent calendar to bed" etc...

Oh god 🙄 my parents .
They’d make endless comments .
House too cold 🥶 , where’s that draught coming from , why am I not making my ( autistic) child move from their bedroom so they can have it , why do they have to have a particular child’s bedroom ( this kind child of mine had a double bed and was the most accommodating and tidiest child ever who didn’t mind sharing with our oldest child ) how my siblings home had a spare bedroom with an en suite exclusively for their use with a more suitable shower for them than ours , how they didn’t like the ingredients in something I was prepping , where were my 3 children ( hiding in family room from you moany gits ) etc etc .
Then being “ helpful “ by getting in the way in the kitchen , wiping up constantly with tiny bits of kitchen paper , washing up things that were on the side waiting to go in the next dishwasher load , saying “ oh I won’t want that I will make myself an omelette “ which meant I then actually had to wait while my meal went cold while I made the pigging omelette…argh

Yes 👍🏻 that’s what I’d think too .
in all fairness if you ask for tea in my house I’d have to show you all my tea 🫖 and ask which one 🤣 you can have anything from Yorkshire to Sencha Fuji in my house

Bet you felt like saying well go and stay at siblings then

This could be my parents, they turn up to our house, which they are fully aware is an old, draughty house, without a jumper or anything more than a t-shirt and complain they’re cold and were absolutely shocked and aghast that we would make the second bedroom into our baby’s room when I was pregnant, rather than put the baby in the box room and keep a double bed in the larger bedroom for them to visit twice a year.

Sibling has probably had enough of them too!

My mum does this and leaves dripping wet cups and glasses upside down on the worktop to create little floods.

Oh god I can’t stand people washing up. My mum used to do it. It’s never clean, gives me the heebies.

We have 2 bloody dishwashers. Go and sit down.

My mum. Obsessed with who I haven't given Christmas cards to, to the point that she's bought Christmas cards for me to sign for family members I don't like and hovered around while I reluctantly sign them to keep the peace in front of my children.
Talks with her mouth open.
Brings a bottle of Nosecco with her and makes snide comments when anyone drinks actual prosecco.

@Jokethecoalwoman my mum used to be obsessed with the order and placement of my Christmas cards, no matter how many times I told her that we just put them in order of when they arrived. So earliest ones go on mantlepiece and then bottom shelf and carry on up the shelves until oldest go up top. The exception would be their card and PILs which would have place of honour in the middle of the mantlepiece. She would take offence if her side of the family's cards weren't low down! It really was not a priority to us where the bloody cards were. It's the one blessing of her failing eyesight that she can't tell who's cards are where now!

My BIL. I've put up with him being a moody artistic type for more than 20 years now, floating around looking enigmatic and thoughtful but doing absolutely nothing to help, even when it's perfectly obvious things need doing, answering questions but never asking any and being patronising and superior towards me. Today after I cleaned up around him because he's staying at my parents house and it was a total mess, and not fair on them, I decided my work is done with the twat and I am never going to make a single bit of effort with him or show the slightest bit of interest in his life ever again. He's going to get from me exacty what he gets. Fuck all.

Nice try but they wouldn't use them. I'm more likely to receive them back as a gift!