Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

That's a great analogy @MaybeRevisitYourWipingT3chnique ! Looking at it like that it'd ridiculous! "How dare you not want to fund my purchases! How tight fisted are you not to pay for what I've had!" 😆

Thank you @Payforyourowndinner this thread has made me so happy.

Agree with previous posts but personally what I cannot get around is the combination of being so spectacularly greedy but then being so stingy, at the same time. Truly blows my mind. 🤯.

Goodness me. “£700 split between 7 is £50 each” so what? Their meal’s probably came to £20 each so as a couple they should fork out £60 for the rest of the tables food and drink? Or is that you Mr Tightwad? @NorthbyNorthwest22

Lots of posts again showing that about 50% of the world are CFs it seems

Exactly @Payforyourowndinner ! Some pp seem to think their friends should be pleased to fork out over twice what their own meal cost for the pleasure of the tightwads company!

Hope you're feeling a bit better today @Payforyourowndinner

My good friends and I amicably fight about who's paying, and have resorted to ambushing the server with a credit card before the other can get to him/her.

Same here - with people I am true friends with - well, we all turn into Mrs Doyle when it comes to paying the bill. 😂

@Cathbrownlow a bit thank you ☺️ I’ve managed a shower and change of pjs at least. I’m very thirsty this morning but not much appetite

You'd be an ex-friend of many if you felt your numerous starters, drinks, sides and desserts should be subsidized by someone who had a soft drink and a main.

Individual checks are the only fair way to go it seems, since the ones that want to insist on "splitting bills evenly" are also the ones most likely to be the type OP and others are talking about.

If those other people hadn't been azzhats to begin with, they would have said to the PP, "You and your DH barely ate anything, so you should chip in 25 quid and the rest of us will split the remainder".

Also, I thought people didn't tip on that side of the pond because the workers make enough money via the restaurant? How much do y'all tip?

When DH and I go out to eat with another couple we usually eat dishes of a similar price, so we split the bill in half.

When I eat out with a group of friends we each pay for our own as our individual bills can differ quite widely. We buy our own drinks from the bar, so they aren't part of the bill.

I'm lucky that none of my friend take the mick, and if anyone tried to do so I'm pretty sure they would be robustly challenged.

My thoughts exactly. I can never understand how freeloaders like this see themselves to be in the right when they're trying to rip off their friends.

It's totally reasonable to split (even if there is a discrepancy) if it's agreed on by everyone and sometimes it is swings and roundabouts. Those that insist on splitting every time, regardless if they've had lots more than everyone else are just hoping that people will be too embarrassed to say no and they can continue their con. To say someone would be an ex friend if they aren't willing to pay for your choices is quite telling and it's a fair assumption that the ex friend would be grateful they no longer had to put up with it.

Hope you feel better soon @Payforyourowndinner

De-lurking to say, you are my hero too!
I rarely drink alcohol and have subsidised friends + colleagues drinking for most of my adult life. Now as a menopausal bad-ass I’ll be taking a leaf out of your book

Sounds familiar, but I fear there may be a lot more than one of them about! Did one of them have the initials SA? 🤔

NorthbyNorthwest22 says it was a friendship group, so really depends on how they normally work. Do they usually all order more or less the same? Or has it happened before that someone is not drinking, orders a lot less etc, and bill is split regardless?

If you have always been happy to split with the same group of friends when you are the one eating more, but suddenly want to pay just yours when you are consuming less, then that would make you a CF as well.

What if they had financial troubles? They may have had a big car bill etc, should they not go?
It's just best if people pay for what they had IMHO. It's really not difficult to work it out roughly and chuck a few pounds on top for a tip.

No, not SA. Maybe they aren't so unusual, sadly...

It's just best if people pay for what they had IMHO.

Yes, but what if this has not been the usual way of working in this group? Imagine buying rounds. You buy one for everyone, next person buys one for everyone, but the third person declares that no, let's all get our own drinks!

I don’t do rounds as I’m a wine drinker and it’s always cheaper than the beer drinkers so I always say at the beginning no you go I’ll get my own and I’ve never had anyone take offence….it’s called being an adult

Wine is only cheaper than beer if you have fewer drinks. A glass of wine usually costs quite a bit more than a pint, so someone would have to have at least three pints to two glasses of wine for it to even be equal. If you have the same number of drinks, the wine will be more expensive.

It's really not about your personal situation or price of wine.

Try to imagine a person, who has been happy to accept rounds, but only pays for their own drink when it's their turn. Or who had many dinners with a group where they have consumed more than they have paid for - but want to pay only their own, when they consume less. CF.

Like the man in the OP. He's not a CF because he wanted to share. He's a CF because he always, purposefully and intentionally, consumes more than he pays for and takes advantage of others.

@Orangello or they could have always consumed less than they paid for, but have been able to afford to subsidise others in the past? Or the difference may have only been a few £ so didn’t mind paying more?

I don’t think it can ever be cheeky to cover the cost (+ tip) of what you actually consumed

Anyway she asked me as few times for the money and I paid her back
But why, seriously why did you not first deduct the money that she owed you?

Exactly - this was you chance @Singasongtime , and you didn't take advantage of it.

Edit for spelling

I know -you are both exactly right hence me feeling like a proper fool.

I actually thought she would refuse the money given as I reminded her that she owes me the same amount so was really shocked she took it despite acknowledging that it was the same amount! It made me re evaluate our friendship tbh.

But in essence this is exactly what happens at OP’s work events. The CF takes advantage of the situation to get out of paying his way.