Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

Oh the joy of reading a thread from an OP with a backbone - there should be a section of 'learning moment' threads so that people can see how to speak up for yourself without the need for 'drama' or 'confrontation' (which so many people use as excuses for letting people walk all over them.

I'd use "It's unfortunate..." as an alternative to "I'm sorry...", if you don't want to sound as though you're apologising.

Wow he's taking CF to the extreme!

It's a simple staff paid for what they ordered and the whole team can attend without feeling financial pressure.

Amazing, I have this vision of someone starting to applaud slowly and everyone joining in - absolutely amazing OP.

I can't believe that he admitted he wouldn't have ordered what he did and sent you a message, the neck on him 😂

Ooooh well done! A friend of a friend would do this when we went for lunch. Despite me & friend being veggie, friend of friend would order steaks and then split the bill. I was so afraid of appearing rude I let it slide but stopped going to anything she was invited to - as did everyone else!
Thankfully 40s me is a lot less meek than 20s me!
Gannet girl ended up leaving the country in a midnight flit as she stopped paying rent and had monumental credit card debt - her entitlement to other people’s money was off the scale!

Do not answer OP, it wasn't a question. He made a statement, let it go.

Wow no one thinks you are being unreasonable op!

there’s usually always a couple of people saying “be kind” or what ever

Classic response. Couldn’t have put it better. 🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏

I wonder if he goes to Tesco, fills up his basket, and then is shocked and "put on the spot" that he has to pay for it all and not just the bread and milk that he went in for 😂

Fantastic win!

I did something similar a few years back. I was leaving a job, hadn't been very happy there, but had made some good friends along the way. It's a small employer (there were about 15 of us), and it was decided we'd all go out for a meal.
I knew things were going to be tight for me, financially, for a few months, so played it gentle. Just had a soft drink, a main and a pudding. Others went nuts. Loads of courses, bottles of wine, cocktails and even shots.
When the bill came, there was talk of splitting it, but I put my foot down. "Sorry, but I'm only paying for what I had. I didn't drink any alcohol." WELL, the dirty looks I got thrown from some people further down the table were incredible! But I was leaving. This was like my last but one day. My fucks given were zero.

I would put

Dear TW

I apologise you felt put on the spot last night, there was never any intention to embarrass anyone.

Prior to the event, a conversation was had amongst the team whereby it was noted that splitting the bill was not always fair or considerate to everyone’s finances. In light of this, it was agreed that all members of staff would purchase their own meals and drinks ensuring no one would unwittingly end up subsidising another persons choices at the end of the night.

To keep our team building events inclusive and affordable to all members of staff, we will also be continuing this method going forward.

You are still very welcome to join us again in the future.

Best wishes,

Office Hero

OP, you are my hero, well done. Please don't apologise. Definitely use a version that says something like, "I'm sorry you felt that way...."

I had a similarly empowering moment on a tube in early pregnancy. nearly 15 years later it still makes me happy!

I went to a colleagues hen do, but of food, lots of alcohol inc several bottles of champagne - I’d arrived v late & only had one apple juice. At the end of the eve, Hen asked our waitress (who also owns the bar) to split the bill. She immediately whisked the bill away & my share was… 1 apple juice (with a knowing smile from the waitress)

Perfect response @TimetoPour - I would definitely go with this

Ginger we need to know more while we’re waiting for OP’s meeting to finish!

That’s GOLD ! The best post I’ve read here for a while. So glad the greedy pig got his karma. I can’t believe that people like him get away with others subsidising their greed

This!! 👏

You're a star, op! I think say very little to him in response, as he is wanting you to argue with him, so he can show it to people maybe.

This reminds me of when I was new to a job, first time out for the evening with colleagues and predictably we split the hefty bill - loaded with alcohol I didn't drink, sides I hadn't wanted and all the rest of it. To add to that, we had all been informed beforehand that as the meal out was for bosslady's 50th birthday, we could all chip in £12 for her present which was already purchased and also all pay a bit extra so she didn't have to pay for her own meal. This was a good 20 years ago and I had two young children and was really broke. That meal and £12 (for bosslady I barely knew) really wrecked that month for me financially. It still annoys me all these years later.

That is so pathetic. Why would a bloke want other people paying for his meal?

I'm here for this.

More power to you, OP

Counting down the minutes til OPs meeting is due to end. This is the best post I have read on Mumsnet this year!!!

Surely it's only sensible to split when everyone has ordered a similar amount. That's why it's not the done thing in larger groups as there's more of a chance that orders will differ. If everyone ordered several courses and a bottle of wine and split, they'd all be paying thr same as him anyway. He's either incredibly entitled to the point he's delusional, or he actually has something wrong with him mentally because no rational person would think that's OK.

And as if Tightwad wasn't putting other colleagues, some junior, on the spot every single time he said "split?" !!!!!!

@Payforyourowndinner did you reply?

I'd ask him why he thinks other people should subsidise his meal? How is he so entitled? What a twat. Thing is you showed him up to be an utter arse and so he's not going to react well. Well who gives a fuck? Certainly not us on here!