Bill splitter karma

[Payforyourowndinner]

I wanted to share this as often read stories on here of people getting stung by people insisting on splitting the bill when they’ve gone all out on cocktails and steak.

I went out with work tonight, and don’t go often. I was driving so no drink but did have a starter, main, and dessert.

There is a person who works for the company but not on my team who often hears about meals out and adds himself on. No one ever stops him. He does get on with some of the men on my team so all good, but he does go for the steak, wine, sides etc and insists on splitting and folks are too scared to challenge him for some reason. Now as he’s not on my team he’s not on my team WhatsApp group so I put it out there on the chat I wouldn’t be splitting, just paying for my own. A few added that they’d much prefer to do that (and a few of the newer staff are on a lower wage). No one updated the other man (why would they?) so out we went, all ordered. Some preferred one course with water, others the same as me. Some shared wine. He ordered- (I made a note as it was crazy)
bread and oil
A starter
bottle of Rioja
main (steak and chicken)
two sides
dessert
2 pints.
Now, I’m all for going for it, fill your boots, but pay for it.
The bill came, he said “usual is it?”, I said what do you mean, he said well spilt like always. I took so much delight in telling him that we had all decided to pay for our own, times are hard and we have junior members etc. Oh the face, the face!! He said he would never have ordered what he did if he knew we weren’t splitting and I took great delight in saying “you wouldn’t have ordered what you did if you knew you’d have to pay for it all yourself? Didn’t you see some had one meal and a glass of water?”
As we paid the bill I also made sure that they took our payments before his so he couldn’t wangle. He was so red, he paid and left without saying a word.

I can’t believe the cheek of some people.
hope it will make him think twice. I understand friends splitting bills but why would he assume colleagues from other teams would want to pay for his dinner.

I wanted to share the little win. When I was a junior I wouldn’t have stood up to him either, but menopause does things to a woman.

I can't believe he thinks he was put on the spot!

He's just embarrassed to be caught out!

No having port to follow is not typical - I don't think anyone ever does that. Bread/olives for the table - rarely. Depends where you go whether they even have bread as a side.

Anyway on a work do where people feel obligated to attend, may well be driving, may have no money, it's going to be less luxurious than a meal you've chosen and planned with friends.

OP, you’re a shero. Younger me had been caught out so many times by the “Let’s just split it, it’s easier and no-one wants to ruin a meal by getting the calculators out!” brigade who are so often dumping their bill into others.

Karma, when it happens, is amazing.

Years ago a bunch of us were out for a meal and, as we were a large group, the waiting staff split us into pairs. At the end of the meal each pair got a separate bill and drinks were paid for at the bar.

But after this had been agreed, someone else turned up with his partner. He proceeded to order the most expensive mains, sides and a whole extra course.

When he was presented with his/his partner's bill at the end for this mountain of food, his jaw dropped. But he had to pay it. It was a sight to behold

What a freeloading bozo. Chapeau to you. And I can't believe the audacity of him to moan at you on teams? I think I'd ask him to clarify what he means. Give him enough rope etc. And make sure you screenshot it all and save it just in case you need it later.

"Other members of the team didn't appreciate having to pay for your greed."

Brilliant!

Well done you. Its high time we put an end to this sort of free loading.
When I go out with groups these days .ost people pay for what they've had. Restaurants and bars seem to be able to split the bill quite easily these days.
I loved his comment that he wouldn't have ordered so much had he known he had to pay for it. Your enjoyment of the moment must have been sweeter than any of the deserts on the menu

You weren’t put on the spot. You were expected to pay for the food and drink you ordered for yourself, as was everyone’

This is perfect. Factual. And none of these suggestions that have "I'm sorry you felt.,,,,"

Stop apologizing!!!! Ffs!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

He's a CF that needs no "I'm sorry"

I cant get over the fact he actually admitted he only had so much because he thought the bill was being split.

I love this!

@Payforyourowndinner

Maybe something along the lines of:

I'm confused at the tone of your note and unsure why you think you were "put on the spot" - perhaps you could clarify that for me?

🌹

Brilliant 😂

What a ridiculous reaction from him. Well done you, he's shown everyone his true colours!

This is perfect to me.

You're "sorry he felt put on the spot". You're not apologising for your actions saying that, but his. I use this quite regularly when someone is being unreasonable.

The "it would be unfair for people to be expected to subsidise others meals" is perfect. Gets the point across with a big fuck you written between the lines!

Good luck OP and well done for standing up for your team! More hot chocolate for you!

Love this, you handled him perfectly.

Out of interest, did he consume absolutely everything (including the whole bottle of wine) himself without sharing?

Just wanted to clarify that this buffoon wasn’t ordering for "the table".

I don’t think OP needs any help wording her reply based on her previous posts, but just to add my two pennies worth (because I’m indignant of your team’s behalf). I would t apologise but I would ask ‘in what way do you feel you were put on the spot?’ Make the CF actually say it out loud. Then ‘clarify’ - do you mean you wouldn’t have order as much food and drink if you had have realised that the less well paid staff weren’t going to be paying for part of it? Because that doesn’t sound right.

I think 'I'm sorry you felt' is the perfect way to get around the fact that it's a work message, without it being an actual apology for what happened.

It's meaningless - it's taking no ownership for what happened - it's a non-apology dressed up as an apology, and it sounds conciliatory.

"Put on the spot" bloody hell! He ADMITTED he comes to the meals to freeload and take advantage of bill-splitting. I know people do this, I've seen it myself but I've never known anyone openly admit to it and then be arsey because they weren't expecting to have to pay FOR THEMSELVES!

He's lucky to get away with only having to pay for himself this time and not be asked to stump up the difference for all the other times he's taken the piss.

What about "I'm sorry" from him!?

"I didn't appreciate being put on the spot last night"
"Well I didn't appreciate paying for you to go all-out every time, that's why we decided to pay for ourselves."
"I won't be doing that again"
"My work here is done"

Was this on Monday ?

This is the one. You did absolutely nothing wrong or even out of the ordinary. If he thinks he was put on the spot make him spell out why.

Please do update, OP! I think I’d just reply to his message with a very polite, ‘Hi. Not sure in what way you were put on the spot. We all went out to eat and all paid for what we’d individually consumed. Given that some people had relatively little and others significantly more, that seemed the fairest way to do it.’

Amazing! Love this!!

Well done you! What a cheeky cheeky man

Please don't do this - it looks as though you have deliberately done this to ambush him and publicly humiliate him, and won't look good if he wants to take things to HR

Either ask him to explain what he means by his comment, or give one of the "You have to pay for your own food" replies, or don't reply at all.

Don't give him the satisfaction of engaging in a fencing match with him.