Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

This is a fascinating thread. I’m a Muslim, and there are so many similarities in our practices with Judaism, so on a personal level, this thread has been lovely.

I have a question. I heard that some Jews don’t fill out the census form, so that they are not identified, which is completely understandable after the Holocaust. Do you know if this is true?

Judaism has a very selfless view on life. I am not in this world for the purpose of my own enjoyment and personal experiences. I'm here in order to better myself and give to the people and world around me.

But how is this achieved if the community is insular and doesnt interact with non-Jews? Do you mean through a profession? Or do you mean other Jews by this?

Is it true a brother won't hug or kiss a sister when they become teenagers?

There is also variation in the orthodox community, esp modern orthodox . Like I mentioned before, I lived with my orthodox MIL before I converted so she didn't cut off her son.. many people in my synagogue are ex orthodox Jews with non Jewish spouses who joined a synagogue that would be welcoming to the whole family and they are still in contact with their families.

Lots of Jewish people do marry out, that's why in numbers terms, the religion is shrinking in the UK.
This is despite the very high birth rate of the ultra orthodox community.

I'm not Jewish so might have got this wrong, but I was told that the purpose is to shine a light on the world. In other words, just set a good example.

Thank you for doing this thread🙂 I was fascinated that Jews don't have missionaries and don't encourage converts, and I asked myself why Christianity does, and the answer is ( I guess) because it's giving people the chance for eternal life ( which they won't have if they are non-Christians)
So what do Jews think happens to non-Jews who die? Do we get to go to heaven? Or did we just draw the short straw because we were not born Jewish?

@jewishorthomum Thank you a really interesting thread!
My question:
Do you have Jewish male friends outside your family?
Do you have non-jewish friends?

@KatharineClimpson They've already answered this. They believe everyone will be in heaven.

It's the opposite. Non-Jews (according to Jewish religious sources) can get to Heaven much more easily than Jews. We have to follow all of the 613 mitzvahs (laws). Non-Jews just have to be good people, more or less.

I'm interested in Jewish life, Jewish community in general. Is there any film in Jewish you'd recommend?

I don't have any male friends. I don't have any social interactions with other Jewish males. I do work with males, I have male clients and I interact with males in a work setting. I will have work meetings with men if there is a purpose to the meeting. However interactions purely for social purposes won't happen.
I do have non-jewish acquaintances, colleagues and neighbours who I'm friendly with but no non-jewish close friends.

Thank you. The extended family is Jehovah’s Witness (JW), and don’t vote because it’s seen as being “of the world”. It just crossed my mind as they are another quite self-contained community. I didn’t mean any offence and I sincerely apologise if I did.

I would be interested to know if it is acceptable to be gay or lesbian amongst orthodox Jews or is it considered a sin? Also what is the general stance on the LGBTQ movement?

@jewishorthomum so you would not consider a male colleague to be a friend? Does that mean that you treat them in a distant way when working with them? (No small talk, no having lunch together and chatting about your families etc) Doesn't that harm the working relationship?

Peter Santenello does a great youtube documentary series on Jewish ultra orthodox life which I found very genuine and gives a real view of ultra orthodox and chassidic life in America.
Other than that@thatjewishfamily on Instagram is a really fun Jewish nomad family and very informative on Jewish life.

Some women ovulate earlier in their cycle than average, meaning if you had to wait till 7 days after your period ended you would miss ovulation altogether! If a couple is trying to have a baby and can't, would a Rabbi be able to give a dispensation to have sex earlier in the cycle? And is fertility treatment (hormones, IVF) allowed?

Yes many jews won't put that they're jewish on census forms or other forms. I believe this very much stems from the holocaust and a sense of distrust to the government/authorities.
Many Jewish adults today lived with close family who were holocaust survivers.

This thread is so interesting @jewishorthomum , thank you for taking the time to answer so many questions!
Are you allowed to keep pets?

@jewishorthomum I've booked to go Mid Wales

Aberystwyth? End of August? A few years ago there were always loads of Orthodox Jews holidaying there. I thought maybe they stayed in some of the student flats.

Within orthodox Jewish communities is it frowned upon if someone's elderly parent went to an old age home? Is it the norm in the culture or something quite rare due to being such a strong knit community

I've only got to page 5, which is fascinating.
But I'm pausing to comment on the idea of setting up a community on Canvey Island. At a time when sealevel is rising. There will be another flood there, maybe not soon, but if the intention is to establish a long lived community, they may be affected in future.

Thank you so much for this thread, OP, it's absolutely fascinating! I must admit, I was offended by a male Jewish colleague refusing to shake hands with me whilst shaking hands with male stakeholders, but I think I understand it better now.

I would like to ask you, are you allowed to wear trousers? Leggings? I think sport would be uncomfortable in a skirt!

Exactly, we wouldn't treat them as friends and there is much distance. We Limit unnecessary chatter, some have the extra boundary where they won't call their other gender colleagues by their first name and will address them as Mr and Mrs/Miss. Respectful Hi, how are you etc are fine, but personal chatter is limited between the sexes.
Many ultra orthodox will only work in a female only work or male only workplace.

When men are around I wouldn't wear trousers. Or I'd wear leggings with a lightweight skirt on top.
I go to a female only gym and there I wear sportswear. Leggings etc as no men are present.

Why?

Does this right to see your natural hair also extend to your children, and to your own relatives (both male and female) once you are married? How about your in-laws?