Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

A ls

Isn't that just cheating though? If you believe the rule is just and religiously necessary then why look for for a get out clause?

I particularly love Sukkos. Something about being in a sukkah at night and hearing all the other families singing in their sukkahs. Also the decorating the sukkah appeals to my crafty side. We used to do a sukkah crawl as kids which meant going from sukkah to sukkah to see what everyone had done. It’s particularly special in Israel. It’s also at the end of the very intense Yomim Noraim (high holy days) which are very full on religiously and it feels a bit like phew you made it through, you can relax and celebrate now !

I love the traditions and feeling of all of them though and a lot of that is intrinsically tied into the rituals and work and preparation. The excitement and feeling of coming down the morning that pesach starts (starts in the evening with Seder), and the whole house was so clean but strange looking and the kitchen transformed (‘turned over’, sides were cleaned and covered, my family used lino or thick plastic, different pots and crockery , kettle etc) and then making a small bonfire outside to burn the Chametz, going for a rest in the afternoon to stay up late for Seder, because everything was ready, but not being able to sleep because too excited, and of course comparing with friends after pesach about who stayed up the latest , being allowed way more chocolate than normal, the food (ok it’s always about the food), being hungry all the time but eating way more than normal , going on outings bringing our pesach picnic supplies (more food…) and Matza and jam and getting sticky. Making Matza Brei on the last day. And outings and family time on Chol hamoed (also festival days but less like shabbos, fewer restrictions but still special) , a 3 day yom tov (where 2 days of yom tov continue into shabbos, so you have 3 days of no contact with the outside world, no technology , no phones or tv etc and most of the restrictions of shabbos ) .

This is a shared experience as well with other Orthodox Jews around the world. Elements may be different but a lot of it will be the same. I have friends all over the world but we share the same/similar experience.
and that’s just part of pesach.

@Orangessunshine its the Jehovah Witnesses that do not accept blood transfusions. I believe it is due to an interpretation of a verse or verses in the Bible. JW are not Jewish and are not considered Christian, they are a small sect who began in the late 19th century by a leader called Charles Taze Russell. He died in 1916 and the group took the name Jehovah’s Witnesses in the 1930s so Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all significantly older. Also all these three religions began in the Middle East while the JWs began in the USA.

Not orthodox here but…

the laws in Judaism adapt to allow for changing times. When the tile was originally made towns and villages were tiny and potentially walled, so you would never have to walk more than 2000 paces (I think is the distance) to get to shul. Now it might be much further. without the eruv women with kids in pramsa and those in wheelchairs would never be able to go to shul on Shabbos/Holy days - you can’t carry a changing bag or anything!

Rule not tile

Hi @jewishorthomum

Thanks so much for this thread. I’m a secondary school RE teacher and I’m currently teaching my year 8 classes about kosher and Shabbat. It’s a religion that my students are always fascinated by and they really enjoy learning about it. I get asked lots of questions that I have to Google sometimes! So this thread has really helped me.

Their homework this week was researching the differences between orthodox and reform Jews. How do you feel about the way reform Jews do things differently to your orthodox community? Thank you!

I watched this programme "the highs and low of a kosher marriage" the other day. The couple could not conceive it seemed due to practising niddah, if a woman has a long period or short cycle it seems that this religious practice could prevent a pregnancy from happening as by the time the couple can touch again, ovulation has been and gone. That seemed bizarre to me and like the religion is working against nature. Have I misunderstood this issue?

Thank you so much for this thread. So many of my questions covered, I have always been so fascinated by orthodox Jews.
I do think the way of dealing with a death sounds very sensible.
I have a question regarding the separation during your period and re coupling close to ovulation.
Do you notice more of one sex than the other in babies within the community?
There are thoughts around timing of sex affecting babies sex.

Also as being Jewish is linked to the mother , I assume you are not keen on your son's marrying non Jews? But if a daughter did would this be acceptable?
Also would you welcome non Jewish spouses and grandchildren into the family? Does this happen often within orthodox communities?
Thank you for taking time to answer these questions.

yes, walking to school there was a school bus that used to pass us and the kids would hang out of the front holding the pole and scream insults at us, spit at us and once or twice milk bottles were thrown. I used to dread seeing their bus coming down the road. The bus driver allowed their behaviour and I would say was complicit because they were literally hanging from the front under his nose . Something must have been done eventually because after a long time of this we stopped seeing them . Used to walk as close to the wall as possible away from edge of the road so as not to get spittle on me

people would scream an insult out the car window when we walked home from shul occasionally which was unsettling and gave me a fright every time . Dad and brother had a drink thrown at them one Friday night walking home from shul. hissed comments like ‘yid’ when I walked past.

Just linking to previous pp, I used to live in Golders Green and loved it (I'm not Jewish). My neighbours mostly were, some more observant than others. They were all friendly and it was a nice, safe area. I used to love Golders Hill Park.

@DorotheaDiamond so the original rule was about carrying things /riding further than a certain distance? Ah, that makes sense, thank you!

I know just about any Jewish law can be suspended to save a life, which has always struck me as eminently sensible and humane and something other religions would do well to emulate.

That's absolutely horrific, @EllaDisenchanted . I remember hearing the Y word being shouted at a group of Jewish young people. Chilled me to the bone.

Ali express or Amazon. You need human hair. Type in human hair lace frontal wigs. Or go for one with an invisible parting more expensive but worth it.

Thank you for such an interesting thread @jewishorthomum. I live near Stamford Hill and I didn't know much about the orthodox community there, so thank you for enlightening us.

I hope this isn't a silly question, but your comment about running made me wonder: don't you get really hot and uncomfortable wearing a wig over your real hair? I mean, we had a 40 degree heatwave in London last summer and the idea of wearing one in that makes me feel faint!

Not experienced it in the UK but in Israel rocks through car windows by men in long white dresses (don't know the official name for them) and head coverings. It happens in the north fairly often. It's quite a shock to heard a loud bang and realise you have no back window in the car any more. Being aware of where you are is important out there.

On the other hand Jews do this to coaches of tourists and buses if they are travelling on the Sabbath in a religious area.

1. orthodox is not the same as chasidic
2. no they wouldn’t disown me but they would be find it very hard. I have siblings of varying levels of religious observance and one went through a period of not keeping shabbos and he continued to live at home and remain welcomed and part of the family.
3. Breast milk doesn’t count. We only wait after eating meat foods before eating dairy (based on how long they take to digest) and not vice versa. Waiting times vary according to family tradition from 1 hour (I think mainly Dutch people and it’s uncommon) to 3 hours (very common) to into the 6th hour (5 hours and 1 min, my family did that ) to 6 full hours . When you marry you take on your husbands family minhagim (tradition ) so I was grateful my husband only waited 3 hours after meat! It does make you pause before eating meaty because if you know you’re going to want a coffee later you might avoid anything meaty (Fleish) Jews joke and call it fleishaphobia

I love to learn about Judaism as a Catholic. One YouTuber I would recommend is Frida Vizel. She grew up in a Hasidic home in Williamsburg, she no longer is Hasidic but I believe I’d still an observant Jew but of a more Liberal expression. She is the only tour guide of the area and she wants visitors to have a knowledgeable and respectful understanding of the community.

Of course the Hasidic community is only one quite unique tradition within Judaism, but in this video she is welcomed into the home of Pearl who explains the items in her home and the beliefs and traditions regarding their use. Pearl is fantastic I love her!

Part 2 with Pearl

I loved to walk along Golders Green Road on a sunny day, or a Sabbath evening when all the families were out walking, just like being in Israel, it was warm and vibrant there. Until people started beating up the Polish immigrants (late 90's).

Thank you for the answer. I didn’t have any particular experiences in mind. Just a curiosity about how the rules/restrictions align with your interests and aspirations.

I wondered about holidays because of the huge amount of logistics they must pose. I actually thought Venice might be a good option for a very observant jews because of the ultra orthodox community there so it’s interesting to see it’s one of the places you have visited. I assume it’s nice to not have to cater for yourselves sometimes.

Just wanted to say thanks for starting this thread, it’s really interesting to learn about different religions and ways of life.

Totally random one from me, the 7 days of separation once you’ve finished your period…. How does that work with different fertility cycles? I know (years ago) that I ovulate 3-5 days after my period ends, and have a short cycle. If we weren’t allowed near each other I don’t think I would have ever conceived ds.

Totally random one from me, the 7 days of separation once you’ve finished your period…. How does that work with different fertility cycles? I know (years ago) that I ovulate 3-5 days after my period ends, and have a short cycle. If we weren’t allowed near each other I don’t think I would have ever conceived ds.

I had the same question a couple of years ago after binge watching Shtisel and did some internet research. This is a good article. It's definitely an issue for some people. https://www.haaretz.com/jewish/2012-06-20/ty-article/orthodox-women-experience-halakhic-infertility/0000017f-dbf9-df62-a9ff-dfff509d0000

Thank you 😊 to @jewishorthomum and @EllaDisenchanted for one of the best threads I have read for a while. So informative.

*itmustbeexhausting · Yesterday 22:10

Why do Jews make it hard for new converts? Why aren’t they looking for more people to become Jewish? That goes against every other (large) religion!*

Because, from a sociological perspective it plays into one of the 2 strongest narratives that engineer people to bind into a collective. This one is exclusivity. In layman terms, they feel rather special. No offense, many other cultures, religions, groups are engineered in the same way.