Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

Thank got for your thread, it’s been really interesting reading your responses.

Please don’t answer this question if you don’t want to and I hope it doesn’t cause offence.

Is there anything even really small you wish you could do but can’t because you are limited by religion, just for a day? Clothing related, food, anything? Feel like these must be trivial things compared with how much happiness your religion brings you but I’m curious.

How would the children integrate with a Christian or non Jewish mother but an orthodox Jewish father. You mentioned the children would not be deemed as Jewish?

Even is the non Jewish mother adopted the culture of her husband?

Really enjoying this thread. I wanted to add I thought Shtisel (TV series, Netflix) was wonderful. Warm, funny, romantic, funny ... my lockdown binge watch.

This was my question, don't think it was answered yet..

Thank you for the interesting thread! I’ve been to Israel a few times for work reasons (I’m not Jewish, but know some non Orthodox Jews). I was interested in the orthodox women on the flights, always lots of children (which you’ve explained), wigs as mentioned. But for me the other noticeable thing was they all wore very similar clothes, mid length skirts, long sleeved tops, and the most uncomfortable looking for me was the really thick tights. Presume this is to prevent the legs being visible? And therefore are trousers not allowed? I find Judaism fascinating too.

I think I replied to you explaining that some men take the gender separation to an extreme and will cross the road when there is a female approaching. Especially if the women is dressed less modestly than what is accepted in their community.

I asked about telling children about holocaust and history of persecution. Is this mentioned from when children are young, or kept back until they're old enough to understand the gravity?

Hope do you explain Jewish history while supporting good mental health?!

As a post menopausal woman, I wanted to say I have the utmost respect for orthodox Jewish women who wear wigs/headscarves and long sleeved clothing at all times. I certainly couldn’t have coped with it, as I was a sweaty mess for several years!

I have Jewish heritage but on my dad's side, and at great grandparent level and not his mother, so it doesn't count on thay level, but I've always been interested since dad told us when I was in my twenties, we're c of e or agnostic as a family, so this is really interesting to me as he knows very little too. I have two traditional Jewish names though, that he pushed for me to have.

The basic guidelines are that a women and mature girls should cover her full torso until the neckline, top half of her arms until elbow, and top half of legs until knees. Depending on the religious levels and sector/community how they dress based on those guidelines. Some communities will cover their legs with tights, some won't. Trousers show the shape of the leg which isn't allowed, so its all skirts or dresses.

Thank you Jewish Orthodox mum.

I really enjoyed reading everyones questions and your thoughtful answers.

So interesting. Thank you for sharing.

Regarding difficulties conceiving due to early ovulation; there are a number of Jewish fertility organisations/Rabbis/ Yoetzot who would support a couple trying to conceive, and this is something they would address. There are multiple ways to address this, and whatever route is chosen will be specific to that couple and their situation and needs.

they don't tend to marry non-jews out of the blue. my DH's rebellion started at age 10, his mum let him choose his secondary school as he was badly bullied in an ultra orthodox school but expected him to choose the more religious school of the two options. He chose the less religious but still Modern orthodox Jewish school. This school had more secular jewish children so when my DH stopped wearing the kippah out at age 13, it wasn't that unusual as many of his friends weren't wearing kippah either. Then in those days, my DH received EMA payments when he was in sixth form and he spent some of that money trying out pork and seafood (hoisin wrap and crayfish salad at Pret)?That was meant to keep children in education, i guess my DH was enhancing his 'education' in non kosher foods? I am sure his mum knew.

So by the time we started dating when he was 23, he took me to meet his mum in the first week we knew each other and she was completely unfazed. I remember my DH told his sister we were dating and to let mummy know 'slowly' so she wouldn't be too upset and she said 'oh mummy already expects you not to marry a Jewish woman'.

We even lived together after we got married and she was fine with a non Jew living at home. I then converted to liberal judaism and she watched my conversion online (this was during covid and liberal services are often held before sundown in summer) and seemed genuinely happy for me.

I am sure it differs for other families but i have never met an observant person who would 'suddenly' fall in love with a non jewish person out of the blue.

There's no physical contact at all with unrelated persons of the opposite gender (meaning either very immediate family or spouse), and even chit chat is minimal to non existent. Many men won't even look at unrelated women

@JeweyJew so why did you so vehemently argue a few posts prior that I was lying and male neighbours of mine didn’t cross the street and ignore me?

Yes, in that time period, it could conceivably have happened.

Jews have a history of persecution and may always be persecuted. It is a reality that we live with but it isn't a focal point at all. Thankfully in the UK we live in a relatively safe country and I feel mostly secure where I live. We explain about the holocaust as an part of our history but do our best not to instill fear.
I do think that many Jews are slightly cautious around non-jews because of the risk of anti-semitism. I know I am. Kind of like the wariness that you feel when you are alone in a dark back alley and there is a man approaching..

I also loved Shtisel! Lovely gentle comfort telly and the granny in the home is so funny with her feud with the next door resident. My grandmother was so similar it made me miss her terribly!

Yes, she would have to go through the conversion process

That wariness anaolgy is a good one, @jewishorthomum , I see what you mean.

So if a woman converts, the children are Jewish, or are they less so than those of a woman who was born from a Jewish mother? Just asking as I am not sure how it works re heritage. Thanks.

Also, thinking about it, would pre existing children before the conversion then be counted? Sorry for all the questions, its just making me think, which is the mark of a great thread.

Once converted you are equal to any other Jew.

Sorry, this wasn’t to you, the other poster @JeweyJew said I was making it up!

The kids would have to also go through conversion once they turned 12(girls) 13 (boys). They would have the choice to join the Jewish people or not to.