Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

@jewishorthomum ah that makes much more sense, thank you for answering.

@socialmedia23 For those unaware aliyah means moving from other places to go live in Israel. Israel will always be and has always been the homeplace of Jewish people (and not because of its government). It is seeped in Jewish history. Asides for that if you've every visited Israel you'll see its a beautiful place. Its vibrant and happening. Jewish life is thriving there. Have you ever been to visit?

I’m a non jewish midwife. I work from a GP surgery which has a large proportion of patients who are members of the orthodox community. I’ve never had an orthodox Jewish woman refuse care from me because I’m not Jewish.

Another contraception question: are you allowed to use something g like the Mirena coil which stops periods all together? Would that mean you didn’t have yo do the no touching, ritual cleansing etc?
very interesting thread, thank you

We try to have funerals as soon as possible. Judaism holds that the body can only truly rest and go to heaven once its buried so we try to that as soon as we can. Logistically, Jewish funerals are not fancy events. The body is dead, they don't need it. Respect is shown by turning up and walking the coffin down the street towards the grave. Thank Gd I've never personally been involved in arranging one so I don't know any more details.

Are you interested in sport?

I'm from New York, I have many jewish friends (modern jews) and I used to live in crown heights, Brooklyn (an orthodox neighbourhood), I remember them walking down the street with their old analogue phones because they're not allowed to use their internet. I'm also aware there's different types of orthodox groups, some are more permissive than others, maybe the "no internet rule" don't apply to all the Orthodox Jews?

I love running. My husband's a football fan

I asked about if husband's are present at the birth of your babies and do you have to have Jewish midwives only ?

PS I don't know why all the questions about not being allowed to have sex on your period - this is a pretty normal thing for a lot of women, Jewish or not, not to want to have sex on your period. Let alone the potential for mess, I think there is definitely a biological component too, I never feel less sexy or want to be touched less than when I'm on my period and cramping and bloating and feeling sick, when I used to get them (thank you Mirena coil!) I would often boot out DH to sleep in the spare room so I could be miserable in peace with a hot water bottle.

So I can easily see how religious rules would grow up around this very naturally, though I do agree that the 7 days afterwards would have made it jolly hard for us to have conceived our DC as we would have missed every ovulation. Do orthodox couples ever have trouble conceiving because of this?

Yes i have been to visit. I went for my SIL's wedding and also visited tel aviv and Jerusalem. I have also attended shul there, they were very welcoming and we were called up to the bimah even though we were strangers.

I know it is beautiful but it is also a tough place to live. Yet so many people take the leap.

I have learnt so much from this thread, it is fascinating and I will come back and re-read it as there is so much that is new to me. May I ask if you are allowed to dink alcohol and if you can , are there specific rules about when and where.

Lovely thread, we have a large orthodox Jewish community here in Manchester it’s nice to find out more about the culture. My question is what would happen if one of your children decided to marry outside of your community? Do you have any family/friends this has happened to?

This is a very random question but do you know anyone in Monsey?!

@socialmedia23 your poor MIL! Hopefully that sort of thing is rare.

Sorry if you already answered and I missed it but I was interested in your thoughts OP on someone's question re women who ovulate early and would therefore be unlikely to conceive if not permitted to have sex for seven days after their period ends - if they were trying to conceive, would they be encouraged to just accept they would be unlikely to conceive naturally, or be encouraged to break that rule?

There are a few reasons here
To varying degrees orthodox Jews may limit their exposure to internet. I do.
This is primarily to avoid being exposed to indecent content. Aside from outright pornography Jewish men try not even view immodestly dress women. It is almost impossible to avoid this online and therefore some orthodox men won't have a smartphone and will limit their internet usage.
I don't have a TV at home for this reason. My husband tries not to look at immodestly dressed ladies. (And I know some of you will roll your eyes and say Yeah right.. ) Its another boundary that is in place to prevent affairs and inappropriate relationships

Thank you OP and the other Jewish posters, it's a really interesting thread. So glad that the conversation can be had in what seems to be a safe space for all to ask and answer in good faith.

And I agree this has been a fascinating thread and refreshing to see almost entirely respectful dialogue both ways.

This may have been asked already but my mothers mother was Jewish. One of my children is interested in her Jewish ancestry- would she still be considered Jewish, would she have to convert if she was interested in joining a synagogue? Or would they accept her? How long is the maternal lineage considered? I am female too. Thank you!

You mentioned that Jewish men don’t really engage with other women etc because it’s since as temptation but I thought that some Jewish men have multiple wives and the wives, children and men all live together?
How does this come about if men are not to engage with other women as presumably they marry the first, the marry the others afterwards? How does the man end up gaining another wife if he’s already married without being seen as unfaithful etc?

Mirena coil is no problem and yes that means no Nida (abstinence between couples)

Sorry but no. There's either information missing or this is simply not true. I live in Stamford Hill, and while we don't generally have much to do with outsiders, nobody crosses the road just because a non Jew passes by, and almost everyone would greet back

I’m sorry but yes, this happened. I’m actually half Jewish (dad’s side so I know it doesn’t count) so am not coming at this from a point of trying to disparage Jewish people. But this very much did happen. It was about 20 years ago to be fair, maybe things have changed. It was always the men that crossed, not women.

No, Jewish men do not have more than one wife. A Jewish man is only allowed one wife.

(Thankfully)