Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

Is it true that if an orthodox Jewish woman asks for a divorce and the man refuses her they have to stay married?

Mind my ignorance, How do I search for your post/name on the thread?

A shabbas goy is the boy who turns off light etc. thank you for reminding me of the memory.

Inorder to a divorce to take place both parties must agree. They must sign a marriage termination contract. Until then remarriage is forbidden

Placemarking to catch up on as it's fascinating reading about different religions and how they operate. Thank you for the thread op

Because we believe everyone has their unique purpose. You don't have to be Jewish to fulfil what G-d wants from you, and get a share in heaven, you just have to follow the 7 Noahide laws (and basically be a good person).

Here it is OP. I tagged in orti as she’d mentioned funerals a bit in earlier posts.

You say that Jewish people have funerals the next day and everyone comes. How do you arrange it so quickly? What happens at one, how do you cater for everyone so quickly and do all the logistical stuff of hosting so quickly?

Why are non-Jewish funerals so much slower?

My neighbour wore a covering on her hair but she had a widows peak and would pluck the hair out. Is this a common practice, I think I would prefer to wear a different covering?
She was very 'frum'.

I’ve been told it’s much more difficult to obtain a divorce if the man refuses and it can involve paying them off etc. Hopefully my information is wrong!

What is the rule about not carrying your handbag on certain days and does it have something to do with a line/wire that encircles a neighbourhood? I can’t remember the word for the wire but would love to learn more about that.

Am loving this thread. I'm a Born Again Christian and am absolutely obsessed with all things Jewish! I absolutely love reading the Old Testament and find so much of the ancient Jewish texts utterly stunning. I love the Psalms ( Psalm 18 is so powerful), and I read a chapter from the Book of Proverbs every day. Leviticus was tough to getbthrough but the attention to detail is amazing. The story of Samuel, Saul David, Esther, Daniel...I could go on!

Of course, I see my own faith as an off shoot of Judaism, and know that there is a growing population of Jewish people who follow Jesus, and see him as the fulfilment of Judaism. How are messianic Jews received by the general community?

As an aside, I was baptised in a full water immersion a few years ago as a declaration of my Christian faith. It happened on Rosh Hashanah and I can't tell you how thrilled I was for it to fall on such an event.

As another aside, I'm also interested in the opinions of Jewish people on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and I'm a pro-semite (made up word meaning the opposite of antisemite!) so I don't think it's an inappropriate question to ask, especially in this ama context I've spoken to Muslim friends about this, and have my own views but it's always important to get as many sides as possible.

Another random one, do Jewish people tend to have a common blood group?!

Anyway thanks again for such a great thread.

@Chloe84 I see you asked about the Palestinian Israeli conflict and got bashed for it. Some Jews approve of Israel having authority over Israeli land at this time, some don't. It isn't about Judaism.
All Jews agree that Israel is seeped with Jewish history and there is a strong connection between Israel and the Jewish people.
Whether the Israeli government are handing the conflict correctly or not is purely a political debate and nothing to do with Judaism so debating about the conflict is a purely political issue and wouldn't really belong on this thread.

Why do Jews make it hard for new converts? Why aren’t they looking for more people to become Jewish? That goes against every other (large) religion!

I do have a question, why do so many Jewish people want to make Aliyah. So many young people I know have left. Israel isn't an easy country to live in. I understand the idealism, how much easier it is to live in a Jewish country where being Jewish is 'normal'. But there are negative aspects too- the cost of living is expensive, home ownership is really hard (40% deposits are the norm), many jobs don't pay very well compared to USA/London including professions like doctor or lawyer, many new olim don't speak Hebrew that well (even those who went to orthodox schools!). As well as the security situation, I was sent several pictures of my SIL in a bomb shelter and that genuinely terrified me.

But both my husband's sisters have made aliyah. I understand anti semitism is a big problem, my DH is on the receiving end of it as someone with a Hebrew name in his passport (and Jewish schools on his CV), it's why he has only gotten job offers from banks which hire a very diverse workforce (on account of being such a large employer with money to invest in HR). But most of us have a good life in the UK(despite this)which is probably why the stats say that 70% of western olim leave Israel eventually (a Knesset spokesperson has confirmed this). I am sure that's not the same for russian olim or ethopian olim!

I was very affected by the death of the Dee sisters and their mum, it made me sad because I live in the same part of London as they do, and it is so much safer here. This may not always be the case but right now, it is...

It's such an interesting thread and thank you so much to you OP and all the Jewish women on here for taking the time to answer!

My question was the one about shomer negiah, but maybe you already answered it above when you said "Religious men won't have any physical contact with the opposite gender". So you'd go by gender rather than biological sex?

I was nervous to read this thread, as a Jew who has come across antisemitism online. Utter interest, learning and joy to read such lovely thread inputs. Thank you

One of the reasons is because despite its beauty being a Jew isn't easy, as you've probably been made aware of by this thread, there are many guidelines, restrictions etc. We push converts away inorder to make it difficult for them. If they truly persevere we see that they have what it takes to be a practicing Jew. If they give up chances are Jewish lifestyle would be too difficult for them.

Yes, non Jews can have a share in heaven.

Our personal, deep and ongoing relationship with G-d is a fundamental part of Judaism. That's part of what all of the many many laws facilitate. Our lives are completely centred on our observance and relationship with G-d. I know lots of sanctioned work arounds have been mentioned, but there are boundaries about what workarounds we would use. Someone could probably find a workaround to put their TV on a timer to come on on Shabbos, but it isn't even a discussion, because it is so utterly against the spirit of Shabbos. I wouldn't even be tempted, it would completely ruin the feeling of Shabbos.

Oh I have one more question - when you buy new kitchen utensils and stuff do you take them to the mikveh to dip them and is it annoying, do you need to make an appointment? And how do you submerge electrical kitchen utensils without breaking them!?

We go by biological sex

Why aren’t you allowed to have sex on your period?

For muslim women we have the special wash after menstruation but its just like a normal shower but following the steps so. We do it after sex so we can be clean to pray aswell. Its just to make sure water touches every part of our bodies. Takes about 5 min.

Also during menstruation you can have sexual contact but no PIV.

Off topic but I worked in a Jewish nursery and it was one of the nicest places I've worked at.

I was a bit apprehensive as I wear hijab andabaya and wasn't sure how they work take me but everyone was so friendly and welcoming and they even asked me if I wanted to pray there is a room that I could use.

@Dexy007 read the thread love

That happened to my MIL. Her ex refused to issue her a get unless he got a larger share of the house in the settlement. He hadn't worked for approximately 15 years, she had been working and paying off the mortgage while doing the housework and raising 4 children. She needed to keep the house as my DH was still in sixth form doing a levels and the youngest was only 10 so settled in school. She had to remortgage the house to give him £100k(house had gone up quite a bit as it was in north London). She got her get. They settled out of court. In Israel, they have sent men to jail for not issuing gets and I believe they are trying to bar men who don't allow women to divorce from entering israel. There have been boycotts organized by the community to punish such men

Thankfully my MIL managed to keep the house (but think her dad helped her out with that) and will be mortgage free next year.

depending on the material, yes you have to dip them in the mikva (a utensil mikva, not a people mikva!). no need for an appointment, it's often like a little outhouse or shed and you just go in and do it. Yes it is annoying, I forget all the time, so I have a pile at the front door constantly waiting for me to remember to take to the mikva!