Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

Nothing to ask, but I’ve really enjoyed this thread and learning more about Judaism. Thanks Op.

So for all the time of your period, plus another seven days afterwards you can’t touch, is that right? That’s what, 11 or 12 days out of every 28 maybe?

Thanks OP, great thread!

I'd love to know more about holidays. Where do you tend to go? A PP said it's mostly self catering and own pots and pans etc - is this what you do to? Would you avoid hotels?

is there a country you would love to go to but can't because it would be too difficult logistically?

Presumably keeping kosher means you would avoid all inclusive type resorts and also restaurants in the country you are in etc?

Also, not necessarily holiday related but if you are out and about in town (say big shopping trip to John Lewis) and got hungry, would you have to avoid the cafes/restaurants etc because they are not kosher? Would you take your own snacks/drinks with you when you are out?

7 days after the end of the period, a women goes to the mikvah which is a large spa like building housing many private dressing rooms. First a lady has to prep herself by washing herself, removing unwanted body hair, cutting nails etc.
Then there is a small pool of water where you submerge fully for a few seconds, this is the mikva. Its all done privately, noone else goes in with you.
In addition, the mikva and the nida (seperation) isn't about spiritual uncleanliness.
The thought behind it is that in Judaism whenever there is the potential for growth and creativity and that potential isn't used there is a need for cleansing. So when a women gets her period she had a chance to conceive and to create life, when that passes with her period she has to now go through a cleansing process which is the mikva.
Reuniting with my husband after mikva is my favourite time of the month. I feel like a blushing bride. Every time.😊

I knew about the not touching when you're on the period until you go in that pool thing but this is almost the bit that's most shocking to me. Because it's no touching at all is it? And it's for so long!
That's the bit I find most inconceivable

Yep 12 days plus, no touching at all. That's not what it is about but the restraint makes the reunion all the better, trust me. No better way to slooooowly build up sexual tension...

Very interesting- thank you for the discussion.

(I'm bringing down the tone a bit - sorry @jewishorthomum !)

How do you indicate to your husband that you have your period? Just say so, separate the beds or is there a signal/sign in the house to signify this to him?

If a woman is widowed or divorced, can she go wig/scarf free to indicate she is single and available?

Its not easy. I'm not going to lie! During my period I'm okay with the distance because honestly I don't want my husband anywhere near me. I'm snappy, hormonal and uncomfortable. Its the 7 days after that are the challenge. But as I said above the reuniting after the separation is amazing.

Just tell him. It's private between husband and wife, so we do hide it from the kids. Invariably at some point they want to know why the beds have come apart, and helpfully 'fixing' them for us.

I'm totally lowering the tone further here and font feel obliged to answer if in appropriate, but can you take part in non touching sexual activity? Can you send dirty texts for example? Or masturbate?

Or is it just a case of switching off from anything sexual for nearly 2 weeks?

What about women that ovulate early? I wouldn't have either if my children if I'd waited a week after my period finished!

I've only got to page 12, but thank you OP for such an interesting thread and thank you to others who have shared their experiences.

Loving learning about Judaism thanks! I've never met many Jewish people to my knowledge. Fascinating how such a close knit community impacts on reducing social isolation. Does this reduce depression/mental health issues do you know?

Yes interested to hear as above, I ovulate early and if I had to wait eg 12 days post period I may not have my babies.

Also how do you exercise/swim in a wig? Would you take it off for a swim cap or a tighter head scarf?

You would use a headscarf or something like that for exercise/swimming

Thanks.

I find the lack of evangelizing a bit odd personally, but that's just it jarring with my Christian background.

Do you think that only Jewish people go to heaven, or you're more likely to if you are Jewish? I'm guessing not or you'd be more keen on spreading your beliefs?

How much of it for you is adherence to rules, and how much of it is having a personal relationship with God? Do you make personal requests and petitions by prayer?

For me, and I understand from my Muslim friends, for them, a lot of our faith is about having a relationship with God. A belief that God knows and cares about you as an individual and will listen to your pleas. Whilst in Islam and to a lesser extent, Christianity, many people follow rules, the rules seem to be secondary to the faith. Is it the same with Judiasm?

I've gone back to the beginning of the thread to see which questions haven't been answered. Apologies if someones replied already
The volvo thing made me laugh. I have no idea why you've seen lots of Volvos by jews. You may see lots of Toyota previas driven by ultra orthodox because they tend to have larger families hence larger cars.. I also know some people are particular not to buy a German made car because of the holocaust. But I don't know about Volvos. Very interesting though.
Many ortho Jews will choose a Jewish workplace because they are more accommodating to their lifestyle. eg ealier hours on Friday, closed for festivals etc
About the prevalence of affairs. They do happen. But I'd like to think that because we have so many clearly defined hard boundaries they are definitely less prevalent in the orthodox community then in secular society.
I'll give you some examples of the guidelines we have in place: Religious men won't have any physical contact with the opposite gender. A man will not stay in the same closed room as a women. So if my husband has a work meeting with a lady he will always make sure the door stays open. Its a boundary in place to prevent the temptation that leads to affairs.

To add, the laws about men and women not being secluded together (called yichud), are also a protective factor. I feel safer being around a man who I know is observing the laws of yichud. When followed properly, they reduce the opportunity for sexual assault and abuse.

Regarding the Stamford Hill Volvos, I was always told that it was because no part of the car was made in Germany. That was 20 years ago though. The number of big old Volvos was noticeable.

I'm amazed at the respectful interest and response here! If there are any questions that haven't been answered can you repost them so that I can reply?

Do men have to cover their hair to show they're married?

@Ortiguilla seeing as you’ve answered a few death questions….

You say that Jewish people have funerals the next day and everyone comes. How do you arrange it so quickly? What happens at one, how do you cater for everyone so quickly and do all the logistical stuff of hosting so quickly?

Why are non-Jewish funerals so much slower?

No, a boy covers their head with a skullcap/yarmuka/kappel from the age of 3. To remind him of God above

Why isn’t Judaism looking for more members, out of interest?

Happy for you to answer mine, OP! Just didn’t know if you were coming back.