Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

Do you live in a Jewish community and do you speak English or Yiddish? (I hope that's not a silly question!)

FFB = Frum from birth (born religious), BT = Baal(as) Teshuvah (embraced religion later on in life).

As someone who had to cope with my mums death and plan a funeral when siblings and my dad kept altering/arguing about hymns etc your way seems so dignified and comforting

Thank you!

It’s very interesting to me. My paternal grandmother was Jewish and got shunned when she married a Catholic but remained loyal to the faith until the end.

I live relatively near a large and growing Chassidic community and understand that there is generally a lack of opportunity for young people due to a lack of education and insurality. I’m really interested to hear of very orthodox jews who have been able to balance the religion with other things in life.

I was brought up close to Stamford Hill, & my grammar school classmates were 30% frum.

I learnt a lot from them, but there are questions that I didn't think to ask.

I read a book that mentioned the mikvah in passing, & it seemed as if it was a communal bath. Is it? Doesn't seem very cleansing if so.

AFAIK, there wasn't an eruv in S.H. It strikes me as a rather hypocritical work-around, that defeats the object of Shabbos.

One for DH. How do bald men keep their kippahs in place?

The Heimishe Kitchen cookbooks are probably the most authentic and real.

https://www.lehmanns.co.uk/catalogsearch/advanced/result/?author=Nitra%20Ladies%20Auxiliary

I've just read the entire thread and really want thank OP and PPs for helping ke understand aspects of Jewish culture that I've wondered about for ages. I love to understand things I haven't grown up with.

I have a question and feel worried that I'll express it clumsily, so please know that this is intended to understand the thinking:

So women's hair and beauty is reserved for her husband but women wear beautiful and realistic wigs. Things shouldn't be carried outside the home under some circumstances but the idea of home can be reconstructed using a barrier to enable carrying stuff outside the home.

To my pragmatic mind this seems like finding ways to obey the letter but not the spirit of the rule. I'm sure this isn't the right way to view it though? Is there a virtue in adapting within constraints and having it both ways in Jewish thinking?

Again, seeking very much to understand and apologies if this is insensitively asked.

@thebaneofmylifeisacat I don't want her 'punished', per se, but her comments needed addressing, and I think he has done that appropriately.

Yes, I'm interested in the ritual bath, too, but am assuming that the water is changed between bathers?

Have you watched Rough Diamonds on Netflix? How true-to-life is its depiction of Orthodox Jewish family life (exclude the thriller plot and diamond trade elements)?

How does the community deal with SEN? Are the rules flexible to accommodate people who cannot adhere to all of them?

Thank you op

Great thread too very informative

@Ortiguilla what happens if someone has been murdered or some other cause of death that requires investigating?

My liberal Jewish friend agrees with you about this.

When she was younger, she went to synagogue a lot, observed every Jewish festival and liked eating cheeseburgers but felt she couldn’t due to the mixing of food. I always recall she told me her chest felt bruised after going to synagogue (you hit your chest every time you atone for a sin) on Yom Kippur. Later I had a liberal boss too, who told me that a day or so before YK that you have a day where you think deeply about what you’re atoning for.

My friend also told me when she sat shiva especially when her mother passed away she was touched by how many friends, relations and local Jewish people (she doesn’t attend the local synagogue that much in Delaware, where she lives) came to help and support her and her family, bringing food. Her DH is Catholic and their children are adopted from another country and are both girls and brought up in both faiths.

My nana has a Jewish surname and thinks or thought that the family were Jewish (tailors, French immigrants) and her father looked Jewish, had great business acumen and had the Jewish “nose” but she never found out for definite if they were Jewish but stopped practising the religion due to anti semitic behaviour.

One of my DM’s best friends is Jewish with a Jewish father and mother but told us recently that the surname had been anglicised to a British sounding one (not naming both as could be outing) her birth first name was Iska and changed to Christine, presumably so they’d fit in. Her father’s family all worked in the fur trade but got each other jobs. Things changed a bit when her father married a non Jew, her mother, and then her father sadly died. It’s sad that she recalls her Jewish first and surname being used as a young child but then being changed to fit in in England (Polish Jewish immigrants).

@EllaDisenchanted I have to wear a wig because of alopecia. It is quite a lonely experience because of the cultural norms that make it an embarrassing secret.
I think there is a large orthodox Jewish community in Gateshead, near where I work, and as a result the local Sainsbury's has a kosher aisle and quite a few Jewish customers. When I am there, I find myself almost yearning to be seen and recognised as a wig wearer by women that I imagine are able to spot even a very good wig.
It must be lovely to be able to talk about wig wearing, to share tips, etc, the way other women would about make-up etc.

Only “some” forms of incest? 😳

Presumably some people consider marrying 2nd or 3rd cousins incest - although it's legal?

If you Google 'The Nosher ' you will find lots of great recipes. For those asking! It's part of My Jewish Learning.

@shard5 not totally correct
During menses husband and wife can engage in sexual activity but a cloth must be placed between the private parts so they are not in actual contact.
Most Muslims probably wouldn't do it but the option is there to do so.

I know it't a very wild guess but would you say the majority of Jews are non-practising /modern like the many well-known Jewish financiers, movie makers, tech investors, doctors, professors, psychiatrists etc?

@jewishorthomum

Thank you so much for explaining about the Eruv thing. I either read it in the |Mail (sorry!) or more likely in my parents paper (express) which is just as bad. I was a lot younger then and just read it that these 'unsightly' things were erected so the Jewish women could push a pram in the park! I understand now how these things can be twisted. Sorry for the misunderstanding!!!

I don't live near Stamford ill but lived for a while in Gants Hill and I only knew there were Jewish people there because one of the shops sold some Jewish food. However, one day I looked out my window and there were a lot of Jews across the road. At first I thought "Crumbs, what is happening" but my friend told me there were quite a few Jews in the area. I presume there was a synogogue nearby but had not really explored the area.

By the way, for some time, my Dad went to a Jewish school. I have no idea why as he wasn't. But he told me he loved the food in the canteen!

Love how so many other Jews are jumping in to answer the OP's AMA

I've never seen an AMA where so many other people have chipped in and answered on behalf of the OP about their OWN experience and thoughts!!! Whow!