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Original poster

How broken are you?

329 replies

Quackpot · 13/01/2022 10:58

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

OP posts:
flashy44 · 14/01/2022 20:23

Got ready for a wedding,did hair makeup changed clothes then got in car drove a good distance before i realised i had my slippers on!

idiotmagnet · 14/01/2022 20:35

Took daughter for maths tuiton which I do every week and it's in the same place every time. I drop her off and then pick her up later. This one particular time I went to pick her up and couldn't for the life of me remember how to get there. Drove round and round with daughter ringing and asking where the hell I was. I literally thought I was going mad or had had a stroke or something, and at one point started cry! It eventually clicked and I've been fine since, but wow, that was weird.

LifesABotch · 14/01/2022 20:47

@LadyFlumpalot

I've told this one before but it still makes me giggle.

Was rushing about to leave the house and went for a last minute wee.

Tried to say to DH "I'll just have a wee and I'll be with you"

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"

I could hear myself saying it, and my internal monologue was yelling at me to shut up but the sounds were on the way out and there was no stopping them.

GrinGrinGrin
ShinyPikachu · 14/01/2022 20:51

I've just narrowly avoided another milk mishap tonight.

The dog gets a mix of dry and wet food so when I was sorting his dinner I put the dry food in the bowl and went to the fridge for the can of meat. Just as I was about to fill up the bowl with milk I realised that wasn't what I was meant to be holding.

Katieandthekids · 14/01/2022 20:52

@pictish

Had run out of ground coffee so had to make an instant. Dh drinks it, I Went on autopilot and put a sugar in the mug because he takes sugar. Gulped it, bleuccchhhed and tutted. Emptied it out and made another…also with sugar. For fuck saked out loud and clicked the kettle on again while putting the sugar AWAY. Sat down with the third cup…well fuck me, I’ve only got the sugar back out of the cupboard and popped one in. You know, cos dh takes sugar.
This is excellent
Katieandthekids · 14/01/2022 20:56

@Iheartmysmart

I’ve just swapped my two seater car for a five door hatchback. So far I’ve closed the boot and got in the back four times. Have to then get out nonchalantly and get in the drivers seat.
These are killing me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 14/01/2022 20:58

I poured cat milk into my wine last week. I was heartbroken Sad

InDispairThisWeek · 14/01/2022 21:01

Twice I’ve made onion gravy but used coffee instead of gravy granules and both times poured it all over sausage, mash and veg.

Yesterday I made a cup of coffee which went cold before I could drink it so I heated it up in the microwave, it went cold again so I made a fresh cup and had to hold it before it was cool enough to drink

A580Hojas · 14/01/2022 21:04

I am totally broken on the being tidy front, even though I do the never leave a room empty handed thing. When people say it's easy to have a tidy house I am genuinely baffled. I take things out of 1 room, stop off in another room to put things away, invariably leave something in the room I stopped off in and find it again weeks later. I never know where my phone or glasses are, frequently get to the check-out and realise I left my purse at home ... it's so tedious.

Original poster
Quackpot · 14/01/2022 21:51

@LadyFlumpalot

I've told this one before but it still makes me giggle.

Was rushing about to leave the house and went for a last minute wee.

Tried to say to DH "I'll just have a wee and I'll be with you"

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"

I could hear myself saying it, and my internal monologue was yelling at me to shut up but the sounds were on the way out and there was no stopping them.

Howling
OP posts:
Squiff70 · 14/01/2022 22:19

Absolutely love this thread. All of you have made me laugh during a very stressful time in my life! I've done so many stupid and daft things over the years (too many to mention) but some of yours have had me in hysterics (especially the cat's nipple and 'A-wee wee A-woo woo') Grin

Keep them coming. This is probably one of the funniest threads on MN (and there was me thinking the thread about the lady who was too scared to leave her laundry pegged out overnight in case it got "darked on" was impossible to beat).

indignatio · 14/01/2022 22:44

@wejammin

The other day I made a lovely vegetable minestrone and when it was ready to serve, I put a colander in the sink and DRAINED my soup.
DH and I remind each other to concentrate hard when sieving stock. A Mumsnet phrase which found it necessary to adopt after so much stock went down the plug hole leaving pointless bones
Weedoogie · 14/01/2022 22:51

I have, on several occasions while driving with my wife, tried to turn her up by using the volume control on the radio

Keladrythesaviour · 14/01/2022 23:00

Love this thread
My worst was going to work at 5am some years ago. Got in the car, tried to set off but nothing was working. It wasn't an old car but I'd had some problems with it. After about 5 minutes of trying everything I could think of and totally freaking out I went back in to the house and woke up DH stressing about how I'd have to take his car and he'd have to somehow try and get it fixed so he could get to work etc etc.
A very grumpy DH came outside to see if he could work out the problem. He did, quite quickly
I'd forgotten to the the ignition on. Blush

Keladrythesaviour · 14/01/2022 23:00

*turn the

Titsywoo · 14/01/2022 23:15

I'm constantly doing stuff like this. I think I need to rest more. Yesterday I left my food on the side and went to put the cardboard and plastic packaging in the oven.

I often try to zoom in on bits of paper/books etc using two fingers.

Titsywoo · 14/01/2022 23:16

@flashy44

Got ready for a wedding,did hair makeup changed clothes then got in car drove a good distance before i realised i had my slippers on!
Ha! I once got to the gym just in time for my body pump class and realised I had my muddy garden crocs on.
ImprobablePuffin · 14/01/2022 23:54

The other day I tossed all my keys into the bin without a care whilst carefully placing my orange peel on the key rack.

I have sieved many a soup straight down the plug hole.

DH once brought me a coffee in bed, instead of sitting up I just tipped it all over my head instead.

Midlander88 · 15/01/2022 00:05

DP bought a new 55" TV to replace our very old 40" one. As a surprise, he set it up in the living room when I was out. Later he came into see me flicking through the channels and after I didn't say anything he said "well?! Do you like it?!", and I just said "Like what?". I hadn't even noticed the remote felt different Confused

Thelikelylass · 15/01/2022 02:21

@ImprobablePuffin

The other day I tossed all my keys into the bin without a care whilst carefully placing my orange peel on the key rack.

I have sieved many a soup straight down the plug hole.

DH once brought me a coffee in bed, instead of sitting up I just tipped it all over my head instead.

You win.
immersivereader · 15/01/2022 02:49

I've drained lovingly made chicken stock into the sink. That hurt

Done lots of the old milk in the cupboard, cereal in the fridge etc etc

Worst one was I knackered the car by reversing out of the garage with the bloody back door of the car still wide open. Car was fucked

Blueroses99 · 15/01/2022 02:56

I tried to get into the gym using my library card this week Blush In my defence, they are both white with a large barcode and a signature. But I’d much rather have been curled up with a good book than the PT session I’d arranged.

ForTheLoversOutThere · 15/01/2022 03:09

I walk into walls, literally , all the time

Mostly the ones in my passage at home, where i have lived for years

Its unbelievable

Onthedunes · 15/01/2022 03:44

I,ve got a habit of paying for things and leaving them in the shop but my pies de resistance was going to McDonalds drive through.

Paid for meal at first window then drove straight past second window, then back home minus food.

MahMahMahMahCorona · 15/01/2022 03:58

@Iheartmysmart

I’ve just swapped my two seater car for a five door hatchback. So far I’ve closed the boot and got in the back four times. Have to then get out nonchalantly and get in the drivers seat.

Just woke the baby laughing at this 🤣