Today my teenager was upset because.....

[Positivelypatient]

On the back of the amusing threads about the irrationality of toddlers and their meltdowns, I have this for you.

Today my 17 DD is upset because I suggested booking an expensive (for me as a single parent) spa day for her and her sisters and me that we would go to on her 18th birthday. I hasten to add this is NOT in place of presents, cake and special attention for the birthday girl. Apparently I have made her feel worthless for suggesting she share her special day with her family.

Told him to get in the shower, he didn’t want to.
Then told him to get out the shower after a reasonable amount of time - he didn’t want to.

During the summer when ds was doing a full time holiday job, he collapsed in a heap one Friday as he was so exhausted at having to go to work. I gently told him that I did that as well as the shopping, cleaning, life admin etc and he then told me that actually his job was much harder than mine so he deserved to be more tired than I would ever be.

@ineedsun yes I did say, I didn't think you actually enjoyed that holiday that much from my memory! And ds (also now in his 20s) said yeah I'm pretty sure you were miserable for most of that holiday. She seemed totally bemused. Said that the wifi hadn't been great but it wasn't the end of the world as it was a lovely holiday! She reminded me that when we got home, her and ds went and bought me a lovely meal to thank me for such a nice holiday (they knew I had worked hard for it!) - which they did to be fair - but that still didn't change how it looked like she wasn't enjoying it! ds and I were chortling at this 're remembering' !! I think when you are a single parent though, you are more sensitive to your kids' behaviour as it's only you and them. So maybe she was enjoying it more than I realised (!).

Reminding mine about things they need to remember, train tickets, music lessons, PE bags gets an irritated huffy "yes I know!" But failing to remind them makes it my fault they forgot so they cannot possibly be blamed or be expected to deal with the consequences.

Mine was also angry this morning because she wasted all her time watching tiktok and then I reminded her (again) to empty the dishwasher which made her 30 seconds late meeting her friend. This is despite me already having reminded her about the dishwasher 30 minutes beforehand.

@SimpleHoardOfTruth

Because we bought new doormats. Final straw after redecorating the house. Bastards.

DOORMATS!?

You complete and utter sh*ts!

Sorry - should have been a after that.

On your side - I swear to God! LOL

@MarieT

The stealth boasting on this thread is hilarious

Some of them not very stealthy either

Oh God, every single one of these is so true.

I have three jobs (single parent) in order to keep us afloat.

Snarly 17 yo DD when I said I was not going to write her A level coursework and she ought to have started it sooner: "What do you know about work? YOU never do any. You need to think more about ME."

Same snarly 17 yo DD when I said I couldn't give her a lift because I had to go to work: "Oh for God's sake. All you ever do is work. You just DON'T CARE ABOUT ME."

"Crushing/smashing/shattering her dreams" also comes up with tiresome regularity.

She is my youngest so I know there is still hope.

My dd is upset that I didn't insist she take her wellies when she refused after I suggested it might be a good idea to take them considering the rain we have had and she's out in the Peak District. Apparently if I knew she would need them then I should have been more assertive and put them in the car for her even though she said no, huffed and rolled her eyes at my ludicrous suggestion. Apparently it would be appropriate for me to offer to clean the now mud caked trainers for her because it is somehow my fault she didn't take her wellies

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere

My middle daughter was yelling at me from her room - "Come and stop him! He's jumping on my bed and messing up the covers!"

She was 15, he was 22 and he was supposed to be helping her put posters on her ceiling.

I feel your pain. My 14 year old dd complains when dh stands on her bed to retrieve a spider from her ceiling that she's freaking out over. How the hell is he supposed to reach it??

[quote StrongArm]@ineedsun yes I did say, I didn't think you actually enjoyed that holiday that much from my memory! And ds (also now in his 20s) said yeah I'm pretty sure you were miserable for most of that holiday. She seemed totally bemused. Said that the wifi hadn't been great but it wasn't the end of the world as it was a lovely holiday! She reminded me that when we got home, her and ds went and bought me a lovely meal to thank me for such a nice holiday (they knew I had worked hard for it!) - which they did to be fair - but that still didn't change how it looked like she wasn't enjoying it! ds and I were chortling at this 're remembering' !! I think when you are a single parent though, you are more sensitive to your kids' behaviour as it's only you and them. So maybe she was enjoying it more than I realised (!).[/quote]
For some reason this makes me feel all warm and loved up - I think the fact that you have a lovely dynamic between you with all the usual ups and downs. How sweet that they bought you a meal

We are a blended family of 6 living under one roof. We have two almost-18 daughters as well as a 15 year old and a 9 year old. I'm not working currently so money is tight. Luxuries can not be afforded, however we have a lovely house that is warm, fully stocked kitchen and children are all clothed etc.

Eldest DD thinks it's very unfair that her dad won't either fund her driving lessons OR (preferably) buy her a car. Her college friends have all been getting brand new cars for their 18th presents, apparently.

Pointing out that both her dad and I had to fund our own driving lessons and first cars and would never have expected our parents to cough up the cash, went down like a lead balloon.

My almost-18 year old is desperate for a job, she has plans and needs money. Mainly needs her hair tan, eyelashes, new Nike trainers and £100 toward her BFFs birthday night out. Again, lead balloon moment when telling her that we won't be funding it when we can't afford to get ourselves to the hairdresser let alone the beauty salon etc.

Dd walks in the bathroom while I have a shower to brush her teeth (she does knock and I tell her I'm in the shower) - she is then pissed of I'm
Naked.

Dd also complains that we set screen restrictions to turn off her phone and laptop at 11pm. That's plenty late enough! She doesn't want any restrictions at all - 'why can't you trust me?'

Also dd thinks the bathroom is for her sole use only and complains when her older sister dares to go in there. We have now given them an allocated time slot - older dd's is 10-11pm, younger dd is 11-12.30am (she's a night owl). The rule is that no-one else can use the bathroom during someone else's time slot (we have 2 other toilets in the house). Dd is now complaining that she's only allowed to use the bathroom late. She NEVER showers before 11pm! And we've given her a longer time slot, she still complains

Some of these are horrible, not funny at all.

@ineedsun thank you, that's a lovely thing to say

DD (then 16) insisted on staying at her current school for 6th form. She said that she was perfectly capable of keeping on top of her schoolwork and had everything in hand, and we were not to enquire about her progress, ask if she needed any help and that she did not need any support or encouragement from us. So we didn't. After her A'levels results, she blamed us for not pushing her hard enough and making her stay at her 6th form

Snarly 17 yo DD when I said I was not going to write her A level coursework and she ought to have started it sooner: "What do you know about work? YOU never do any. You need to think more about ME."
That is truly appalling
😯😢

Today dd was upset because I suggested her hoodie may need a wash. It’s a new hoodie but she’s been wearing it to 6 form for a week now and it’s probably close to walking itself to the washing machine.

I'm so glad to read the holiday ones. I knew my dd was typical but it's very reassuring to read.

My eldest ds needed new boxers. Took him to Tesco to purchase said items. Went into men’s department and opened a pack to see how big/small they were. He was absolutely mortified that I should have done this and I think that was the last time we ever went shopping together 🤣

I have been a totally unreasonable, uncaring mother this weekend because:

• I asked DS to come with me to walk the dog, and offered that we would get cake at a cafe on the way home. He refused but was livid when DD came instead and we went for cake without him. Blatant favouritism.
• I asked to see what homework he had, so I could help him plan how/when to do it (as agreed after numerous last minute panics when he's left it all too late). This is interfering and 'literally' no-one else's parents do this.
• When I didn't check his homework with him and he ended up in a panic on Sunday when he realised he had loads and had not even started, this was obviously my fault. When I refused to do his French it for him (so he could just copy up my answers) I, apparently, showed a total disrespect for him as he had asked politely so I should have agreed.
• I agreed to get a takeaway on Saturday evening but only if he tidied his room. Making a child work just to get food is abuse and neglect.

That home doesn’t feel like home anymore when DD returned from uni because we’d bought different hand wash 😂😂

@RantyAunty

Some of these are horrible, not funny at all.

Like what?

You’re the only person I’ve ever heard say “chinny reckon” other than DH
DS2 does this when I do jokey lies with him ( I don't know where all the chocolate has gone! ) followed by dramatic chin stroking!