What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

[forinborin]

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order.

What about you?

I have zero practical skills.

So obviously I will be running things.

I'm a test analyst so I could just find fault with lots of things?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

@minipie

I have zero practical skills.

So obviously I will be running things.

Hi Boris

I'm pretty decent at smoking meat and bbq cooking. I can also make a very decent calzone if the pp with the mozzarella would like to collaborate. There is definitely a place for good quality Italian bread products in the apocalypse.

We need alcohol and cigarettes. When societies break down, alcohol and cigarettes are the best trade goods to have on hand. And guns.

I can make soap...badly

I'm very good at camping! So I can cook and build fires
Knit and sew

Trained herbalist so that might help

I could... ah, teach people to sing to keep their spirits up. But TBH I'd probably be dead pretty quickly in the apocalypse because I'm a total wimp.

@DrSbaitso Harry Potter isn't a dystopia! They still have all the infrastructure of the modern world. And also magic.

Some sort of doctor/archer hybrid.
I want a sword. Like michonne because she is cooool

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm a crack shot. So that.

Me too.. however without my daily disposable contact lenses I may be at a disadvantage.

I'm good at planning and making things happen so I could maybe organise a team of crack shooters...?

I can climb trees so should anyone be able to spot something edible in one I can pick chestnuts and apples.

I can cook but I think apples, chestnuts and blackberries being staples might prove too much for my skills.

Also have an excellent memory and altitude for rhyme so maybe fireside storyteller. I can't sing though so would need a partner.

I can cook, bake, knit, grow veg, chickens and pigs, I'm good with guns, I can hunt and butcher, build shelters, conserve meats, make sausages and puddings, pickle anything, forage, preserve fruits, veg, mushrooms...I'd be fine

I am amazed at my newly found tribe!

A team of sharpshooters in warm socks, coming back from the hunt to a homecooked Italian meal and a mug of herbal tea.

The apocalypse suddenly doesn't look too bad at all!

Tbh we're already looking in better shape than society under the Tories. Shall we just do this? There's a patch of waste ground near me - there are some horses on it, but that's going to be a bonus if anything.

I can see and have a vintage non electric sewing machine and a huge fabric stash. I can also crochet. I love to cook and bake a beautiful cinnamon roll and fruit loaf. I love cultivating mushrooms and it's really super simple and a great way to grow your own food. Once you've got one mushroom you can turn it into an endless supply. As an extension of that I'm learning all about Permaculture and making pickles and preserves to use up extra fruit and veg for winter use. I am also animal crazy and have kept and bred just about every exotic species of pet from royal pythons, to tortoises to hedgehogs. I'm a great shot too, used to hunt as a kid on family land and we shined and ate everything were shot.

As much as I like to think I'm a very modern well educated woman, in reality I do long for a good zombie apocalypse. I really think it would be my time to shine.

For complex reasons I know/have done the basics of:

• making flint tools
• skinning & butchering live stock
• teasing, carding & spinning to make woollen yarn
• making and using a basic warp weighted loom
• tanning & scraping hides to make leather
• making & firing basic ugly pottery vessels

I can knit, sew and bake.

I'd be pretty brave about having a go at retting, scorching and hackling to make linen fibre for weaving.

I'd also have a go at making a shelter that wouldnt be pretty or spacious but would be structurally ok and keep us warm and dry. I can make fire without matches etc.

I grow fruit & veg but my yields are quite shit so we'd need to trade for food.

My biggest problems would be speed, I'd produce like 1 jumper every 6 months

Should say scutching not scorching!

But then I am quite a closet prepper.

I have a paper file in a water tight lock box with instructions for lots of things

I'm in.

I am good at running, sword-fighting and using a crossbow. I can also brew beer, wine and spirits (along with cider and vinegar). When I am not running around the woods, you will find me maintaining the library or testing out the stud farm.

For campsite organization, you need my DH. The man is a legend at it (and burning things).

If someone else can shear the sheep for me I can do all the other processing from raw fleece to garment. I can generally process vegetable fibres too if you want some string made out of nettles.
I can also gut and skin/pluck animals and birds. I am definitely better at the living off the land side of things than the part where you have to fight zombies.
Luckily dd is a competent archer so she can be in charge of that side.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Tbh we're already looking in better shape than society under the Tories. Shall we just do this? There's a patch of waste ground near me - there are some horses on it, but that's going to be a bonus if anything.

Yep.

At this stage, I am wondering if a cabinet of zombies would produce a worse outcome than Boris' picks.

im a cleaner so i would imagine i would still do the same job but in a different setting maybe washer woman

I can knit and sew. I have a wealth of patterns yarns fabrics. I can start a fire with ease and I have some foraging skills. I could definitely kill and skin a rabbit for food. I can also fish but not brilliantly experience d. I have a bow and selection of arrows too. What I cant do is be a very good survivor. People don't like me so I'd probably be the first victim of the enivitable violence that would erupt over something small.

I'd be a dead person/zombie. I have precisely no interest in living anywhere without electricity and hot and cold water on tap.

I know how to split / chop wood (wood grenade / mallet / axe style).