What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

My pfb was a summer born, it was really hot and I refused to let my husband open any windows over night in case someone put a ladder against our window and stole him in the night, we have a loud and excellent hearing dog and baby was about about 30cm away from me, I totally would have heard someone trying to climb through the windows and realistically no one would ever do that but all summer we sweated it out 😂I know full well how ridiculous it sounds!

I used to set things up around the house to make noise incase anyone broke in to steal my pfb...also strategically placed things behind doors to trip up would be baby stealers.

Looking back I think I had quite bad anxiety.....

@MerryHellbreakingloose

Oh god.

My son weighed less than 7lb when he was born. All his new born clothes were for 7.7lb. I panicked because they were too big and looked uncomfortable. I called my mum who then went out and bought all the small baby items she could find, washed them, and delivered them to hospital. We were discharged later that day anyway! 🤣

My friend told me recently that she thinks her son is too smart for nursery. This was because at a toddler group, he started playing with something that wasn't a toy and the other kids copied him (no, I don't get it either!). I told her, very gently, that she's being ridiculous.

Haha one of my colleagues spent weeks telling us all how his pfb was obviously a genius because he’d taken some toy apart and he had “an engineers mind” dd is at school with said pfb and he’s the kid they have to tell not to lick puddles 🤣🤣🤣

@Ginfilledcats your eye lash measurements really made me laugh

@Slumcat 🤣🤣🤣 that really set me off laughing as did lots of other posts on here 😆. I'm in a mums group (it isn't my first child) and have to sit on my hands not to reply to some of their posts with a 🤣 emoji.

Love the thread! When my PFB started to stand up, I covered every surface in foam tiles - and every edge in pool noodles - when I say every yep I mean every! Second fella stood up early at 10 months and ran - I didn't have the time to "foam it to the hilt" and surprise surprise he was fine!

@Slumcat

Took mine to a baby group where at the beginning of said group we all laid our babies on the floor, waved a parachute rainbow blanket thing over them whilst singing you are my sunshine, it was my first time at the group and as I was singing along, I could feel tears pricking my eyes and that lump in my throat start to form, I started sobbing, the poor lady next to mr look a little startled and kindly asked if I was ok l, my response - verbatim “yes, it’s just you know, he really is my sunshine”. I even had the audacity to go back the week after. What an utter tosser I was.

Oh my god, I proper laughed out loud at that! 😂😂😂 It's actually quite sweet as well though!

For DSs first Christmas I took him to a Santa's Grotto thing at a garden centre - it was a very jazzy one where they had a cinematic experience at the start where they took photos of the kids and then superimposed their heads onto elves 'Elf Yourself' style to watch in a film. When DSs 2 month old face atop of a manically dancing elf came up on the screen, it was just such a beautiful moment that I started crying, I was actually bursting with pride!

I'm sure I have a few but I genuinely can't remember them. I'll keep thinking
A friend of mines pfb is now 4. Still has a video monitor at bed. Sits in back of car with him. Doesn't allow him to explore a soft play centre without her being 5ft away in case there's a horrible kid. She knows it's ott but can't stop. I said I was prib like that with my eldest but now I enjoy a slice of cake in peace whilst they go any play. Hahs

Not mine but my younger sibling looked at me and earnestly told me his son was definitely a genius (at aged 11 months) because he could pull himself up. He was dead serious and as far as I know is still convinced his PFB is a literal genius. Probably has him in toddler mensa by now

@whiskersonkittenss

When my DS was new, a few weeks, I noticed his head was a bit misshapen. So to solve this I made him sit in his bouncer at an angle so he'd HAVE to face a certain way and his head would be symmetrical. Also made my DP stick to this rule. Didn't work.

You've made me remember - we had cot wedges for reflux. They had a tag thing you killed out to show which way the baby had their head for the last sleep so you could make sure you put them down the opposite way next time. I was obsessive over this, god knows why as they always turned their heads anyway!

@gogohm

I'm feeling wholly inadequate, my parenting was just go with the flow. 22 years ago we were a lot more laid back!

In the 70s we were even more horizontal! I often feel very sorry for young mothers nowadays, they do seem to get very uptight about the slightest thing. We didn't have things like HVs, we were with the military and the SSAFFA dropped in when you were first home from hospital, she told me of one very young new Mum whose baby had a series of tiny bruises on the torso that worried them both. She examined the baby and told the Mum to dress her again and noticed that when she was closing the poppers on the babygro she simply pressed down, hence the bruises!

I have 2 which I've told here before but I'll go again

When my pfb was small I was out with my lovely friend who already had a few dcs and she asked if he was weaned yet. I exclaimed he was indeed weaned, I've followed all the guidelines to introduce as many different foods as possible and right now the only thing he just will not stomach is cumin. He was about 7 months old at the time. She nodded nicely while obviously thinking I was a total twat.

When he was about one we went overnight to stay with friends and he was sleeping with me in the bed so he could technically have got out in the night. I decided that due to the fact he might be able to get out of bed in the night that a very heavy item would need to be placed on the toilet lid in case he got out, found his way in this strange house to the toilet and somehow put his head the toilet and get it wedged. I genuinely believed this was a possibility

I would only walk my son outside if I could avoid all roads and traffic pollution. I took the weirdest, longest route on our daily walk to be 30m ish away from main roads 😂 Totally insane!

@3peassuit

I thought my PFB was the most gorgeous baby ever to grace the earth. It was a struggle to resist the urge to hold her aloft in Hammersmith Broadway for all of West London to admire. I genuinely felt sorry for the parents of ordinary babies. After a few months I got a grip.

Weirdly, I remember feeling like this about (much younger) DB - all the other babies looked positively ugly in comparison. I've never felt like this about my own DD and I sometimes wonder why!

Took mine to a baby group where at the beginning of said group we all laid our babies on the floor, waved a parachute rainbow blanket thing over them whilst singing you are my sunshine, it was my first time at the group and as I was singing along, I could feel tears pricking my eyes and that lump in my throat start to form, I started sobbing, the poor lady next to mr look a little startled and kindly asked if I was ok l, my response - verbatim “yes, it’s just you know, he really is my sunshine”. I even had the audacity to go back the week after. What an utter tosser I was.

This is my absolute favourite

I'm due my first in December and am absolutely loving reading these 😂

When moving PFB to his own room at around 5 months I didn’t trust his brand new mattress (from a reputable baby safe shop, costing more than my own mattress).

Husband walked in on me bending over the cot face down buried in the mattress seeing how long I could breathe through it and stay alive! ……it was actually very breathable!

@MamaRaisingBoys

I still cringe whenever my family brings this up (frequently)

When PFB was 6 months old he toppled backwards from sitting and hit his head on the caravan floor. I got down on the floor and hit my own head trying to replicate the sound so I could guess how hard he might have hit it and decide if I needed to take him somewhere to get checked out 🥴 I don’t know what I was thinking! 😂

I'm afraid I did this on about 3 occasions whenever dd bumped her head I think dh thought I'd lost the plot🤪

@Slumcat that’s one of the songs I sing to my pfb 😂🙈. Your story is fantastic 😂.

@Giantwaterbottle I have also done the motorway breastfeeding many times. Feels like I’m going to snap my spine in half but when you’ve got frequent six hour journeys (we do stop every couple of hours as well) and a baby who hates sleeping I’ll do it if it means she stops screaming 😅😂.

This thread has made me laugh so much!

I was absolutely obsessed with DD’s naps (joke’s on me, turns out, she sleeps much worse at night when she’s napped a lot in the day) and remember once going out to find someone who was beeping their car horn while my baby was sleeping (leaving baby with my parents). I must have seemed insane! Thankfully I didn’t find the beeper, what would I have said if I did?! And, of course, DD didn’t even stir.

A favourite of mine is when a woman told me she didn’t know how many teeth her DS had because she couldn’t sterilise her finger to put it in his mouth to check!

I thought everyone was jealous of my dd.
I was a teenager and had no idea about baby and child development when I first had her so to me she was ‘normal’
She started talking at 6 months and by 1 was having full conversations with a huge vocabulary and good understanding. Once at the gp when they asked me what was wrong she answered and then the gp conversed with her and was shocked as initially he thought she was just copying rather than understanding and responding herself . I complained about his shocked reaction and did the same when the HV raised it with me.
I walked out of a navy group thinking I was being judged as a teen mum with a taking baby 🤦‍♀️ The other mums looked shocked when she was talking and singing etc

Now I’ve had more dc I know !! I honestly thought everyone was jealous but her development wasn’t ‘normal’ at all

I like to think I wasn’t very PFB, but I do recall being upset when DH fed PFB a different lovingly homemade purée than the one specified on Annabel Karmel’s introductory chart for that day. I was convinced he would never like non-savory food because his taste development had been ruined by having pear instead of butternut squash. Now he eats quite a lot of shop bought fish fingers, how times have changed.

Navy group !!!! BABY group 🤣🤣🤣

@Giantwaterbottle

Oh these are making me feel better thank you all 🤣 Also making me remember some more of mine! The not wearing perfume or scents. Used to be upset when he'd be handed back and smell of other people. Also walked backwards with the buggy to stop the sun going in his eyes.

And a very mental one, breastfed him while he was in his car seat and we were driving on the motorway. I was strapped in beside him doing a weird contortion to get my boob in his mouth because I couldn't handle him being upset 🙈

Oh, my god, are you me?!

... awful memories of bfing my PFB in the backseat, leaning over with boobs stretched out like spaghetti to get the tit into the screaming mouth while he was strapped into the backwards-facing babyseat ...

They've never been the same since.

Back from the hospital with PFB, we opened all our bedroom windows and patiently waited for the monitor to read 18degrees. I’d read somewhere that room temperature had to be at 18 degrees or baby would die. It was February and we continued this ritual for a few weeks.

PFB was prone to flipping at an early age, so I had my husband sleep with his right hand holding the baby down (he had bigger hands) so he wouldn’t flip onto his stomach and die.

I spent hours trying to get PFB to sleep but the moment he drifted off I would poke him to make sure he hadn’t died. I then decided to use a mirror to check he was still breathing and not wake him, but having me hunched over, pressing a mirror to his face inevitably woke him up.

Babies 2 and 3 thankfully were left to sleep, in warm rooms 🙄

@gogohm

I'm feeling wholly inadequate, my parenting was just go with the flow. 22 years ago we were a lot more laid back!

Speak for yourself!

DS1 is 22 and I certainly had my own share of PFB moments.

I love tales of PFB moments. It reminds me of when I was not a jaded parent and everything was scary-exciting.