What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

3peaassuit Reminds me of my DMs old NDN "Theres only one perfect baby and every mothers got it"! (Although Im sure your baby is lovely "

I did the logging of how long ds fed for, per boob, including how long it took him to latch which was AGES Can't remember how long I did it for - but I started on advice from the hospital and it did give me reassurance. .

To be fair, ds had jaundice and it was 5 days before we were discharged and he wasn't gaining weight so I ended up being advised to give every 2nd feed as an expressed one and to wake him up during the night to feed him

It turned out that he was a non Failure to Thrive baby who wasn't following the growth curve and was simply exhibiting "catch down" growth.

Took him 6 or 7 weeks to regain birthweight but I successfully breast fed him for 13 months and he is now a small but perfectly formed very active and healthy almost 21 year old

Before ds was born, dh said he was never going to let his child sit in front of the TV and watch videos I just smiled and nodded Let's just say that ds learnt to put in the Thomas the Tank Engine video for himself, which would give us a previous wee bit of extra time in bed on a weekend morning

I did ask my parents to let me know if we exhibited any traits of paranoid parenting

I’ve remembered another one!
I found a song when pregnant that I would play constantly, in the belief that baby would hear it and be comforted, both before and after birth.
First time I played it to him, he screamed. 😂 Not so keen then.

@PyongyangKipperbang

My favourite MN PFB will always be the lady who admitted to parking up outside A&E when weaning her PFB and feeding him a brand new food. This was so if the child had a reaction she could get him right in for help.

Funny and yet very sweet and shows the lengths we go to for our little ones (I would include the baby shampoo story in that too!).

I did something similar - the first time my PFB had peanut butter, I deliberately fed it to her at my friend's house as they live next door to the hospital. She was fine.

Asking the health visitor if he'd be damaged emotionally if he tantrummed

Great thread - I’m still laughing about the breast pad floating in the pool during the swimming class and the visitors not being allowed in the same room when baby was sitting in the high chair being fed in case they distracted him from eating. I have this mental image of them all being squashed in the hall together like sardines in a can.

When DD was 6.5 months and starting nursery as a BF baby, I gave them instructions on what to do with her re feeding expressed milk and getting her to sleep

I'm sure they just chucked it in the bin. She's nearlly 4 and I think about this sometimes still.

@firstimemamma

I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.

Well if it makes you feel better, I kept a spreadsheet that tracked every feed (breast and formula) including quantity where possible that calculated how much PFB had had, to the ml. Colour coded.

For 6 months.

@Slumcat

Took mine to a baby group where at the beginning of said group we all laid our babies on the floor, waved a parachute rainbow blanket thing over them whilst singing you are my sunshine, it was my first time at the group and as I was singing along, I could feel tears pricking my eyes and that lump in my throat start to form, I started sobbing, the poor lady next to mr look a little startled and kindly asked if I was ok l, my response - verbatim “yes, it’s just you know, he really is my sunshine”. I even had the audacity to go back the week after. What an utter tosser I was.

Oh this one has really tickled me!!

I definitely avoided bumpy pavement to avoid shaking DD. Now she loves to go over the bumps when she’s in her pushchair!

I also logged feeds for a few weeks but only sleep thereafter, and even though I stopped at about 10m, I still won’t delete the app “just in case”… DD is two later this month and has slept through since she was 14m old.

I used to sit and read full stories to my first baby while he was still inside me. His Dad thought I'd lost the plot.
Funny thing was the stories I read to my bump were the ones he loved best as a toddler.

@Slumcat

Took mine to a baby group where at the beginning of said group we all laid our babies on the floor, waved a parachute rainbow blanket thing over them whilst singing you are my sunshine, it was my first time at the group and as I was singing along, I could feel tears pricking my eyes and that lump in my throat start to form, I started sobbing, the poor lady next to mr look a little startled and kindly asked if I was ok l, my response - verbatim “yes, it’s just you know, he really is my sunshine”. I even had the audacity to go back the week after. What an utter tosser I was.

Hahahahaha! Wonderful!

The funniest one I remember here was a lady that got inside the pram, put the rain cover on and made her husband hose it to make sure it was waterproof.....

This is the absolute best image 😂 how did she fit?! Nearly woke up my own pfb laughing at that.

Didn’t think I had one but I do recall walking in an awkward gait alongside the pram when he was two days old to block the sun. He has his dad’s (pasty) skin tone!

So so many!!

The worst.... when he was weaning I'd read that peas were healthy, but a chocking hazard. So I proceeded to hand shell an entire portion of peas, one by one, more than once.

I've also bashed my head in the same place to see how much it hurt. Hilariously, I got the idea from one of these PFB threads, and even with posters mocking themsleves for it could not see how it was anything other than a genius suggestion.

I have no children but this is one of my late step-grandmother's about her first 'real' grandchild (to be fair, she was the only grandma I had as both 'real' ones passed away before I was born and I thought she was lovely):

She claimed that on an occasion when she'd taken the granddaughter on a visit somewhere on a rainy day, the child had at the windows and exclaimed "Look at the condensation!"

Child was 1...

I lied to my NCT friends that PFB was potty trained when she wasn’t because all theirs were, I had to avoid meeting up until she was potty trained and in the end I bribed her with chocolate buttons 😳

I still log every single breastfeed to the minute and Dd is nearly a year old 😂 and every poo/wee nappy. Still do now! I love lists to be fair and this helps me feel focused and in control of at least some aspects of raising a child 😂

OK I'll add mine.
Took newborn pfb DS1 for his first walk in the sling... I insisted on bringing the thermometer and checking his temp every 10 mins to ensure he wasn't overheating.

He was born in October

@Slumcat That's amazing, I know exactly what you mean!! Thankfully not in public but that same song reduced me to tears when I was cuddling 3 day old PFB. I managed to explain to an alarmed DP through my tears that the line "the other night when I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms, when I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried" made me think that one day in 30 years time I would dream about this exact moment and then wake up and realise that PFB is now an adult living away from me, and it would be too dreadful to handle. Two years on and I'm mostly normal but still can't think about it without tearing up - those post-birth hormones are something else!

Blossomtoes

Glad to hear it.

I did give my cousin 'the look' when I first held her son and she asked me to be careful.

I'm 16 years older than her so have held her, her brother and my other younger cousins without any of them suffering serious harm.

LittleRedYoshi

That's not as bad as you think. One of my friends is a BSL / English interpreter so naturally signed with her children.

Her husband took their PFB to a baby thing and they were doing hand gestures with songs and one was the BSL for 'naughty' and the little girl thought she had done something wrong.

Oh god.

My son weighed less than 7lb when he was born. All his new born clothes were for 7.7lb. I panicked because they were too big and looked uncomfortable. I called my mum who then went out and bought all the small baby items she could find, washed them, and delivered them to hospital. We were discharged later that day anyway! 🤣

My friend told me recently that she thinks her son is too smart for nursery. This was because at a toddler group, he started playing with something that wasn't a toy and the other kids copied him (no, I don't get it either!). I told her, very gently, that she's being ridiculous.

When DD was born, when the health visitor visited, I ensured she was propped in front of University Challenge! Cringe!

@Biancadelrioisback

Im not even sure how to explain this...i stranded 3 weeks old DS and I and ended up ringing DH in tears to leave work and come pick us up. How were we stranded? Well it was my first outing with just DS and I and I took him for a walk in his pram. I was so enamoured with my baby that I hadn't realised straight away that the pavement was in need of resurfacing and was causing the pram to wobble a bit. When I realised I genuinely cried because I thought DS would have shaken baby syndrome. DH thought there had been an accident but found me frozen to the spot on the street too scared to move either way incase I made it worse.

Oh God...I HOWLED laughing at this one 🤣🤣 @Biancadelrioisback You're a legend to share. Hats off to you!!

@AgathaAllAlong it’s insane what some lyrics can do to you in that post natal period!! If I hear you are my sunshine I still get a bit emotional but I suspect they’re tears of shame and not of wistful memories past

@VashtaNerada

I was PFB before DD was even born! I used to read Medieval poetry to my bump because I thought it would make her clever

this is my favorite one !

I used to obsessively check the bath temp and kept filling and adjusting the hot and cold until it was exactly 37. Or whatever the floating thermometer went green at. I even used to let whole baths out and start again if it wasn’t right