What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

Oh I remembered another! Not me but my cousin... there were 8 months between our babies.

She said to me "I'm a bit worried about Tommy (not real name). I asked why and she said "he's just so advanced I'm worried sick he will get bored at school"... he was 9 months old at the time!!!

What was the advanced behaviour I hear you ask? He pulled his socks off ("he's already starting to get himself dressed and undressed")

3 or 4 day old PFB was making some noises while sleeping and convinced that she couldn't breathe properly I took a 10 minute video and sent it round all the family ready to whisk her off to A&E when they confirmed my fears. Turns out she was just snoring

@Immunetypegoblin

DH and I kept a notebook of every feed and volume for DS1. We also logged incidence of poos, nappy changing times and incidence of naps (and duration). I maintain that this helped us to feel like we had at least a minor amount of control over our lives and did have practical value in helping us to predict WTF would happen next. So, somewhat against the spirit of the thread, I defend my PFB actions and would probably do it again. Having said that, we didn't bother with DS2

My friend recommended doing this as she had found it SO HELPFUL with her PFB who is 18 months older than DS. We didn't...

Great thread!

I reversed my car into a bollard with 6 month old PFB in their car seat in the back. I was probably going about 1 mile an hour. PFB didn't appear to notice

I called 111 to ask what signs of hidden injury I should look out for

Errrr this is very awkward.. I still track my 16mo's sleep on an app but it's cos his sleep is AWFUL and I do it to see a 'trend' to work out when's best to put him to sleep but yeah hasn't worked until now so I may give up

This has had us in stitches in the office (and you don't want to know what Hebe did to some innocent blueberries) so we are moving it to Classics now.
Many thanks for such a good time, GiantWaterBottle!

@Houseofvelour

I cried the first time dd1 watched (5 mins of) tv because I felt like a terrible mother and thought I was ruining her. Dc are 2 and 3 now and I can't remember the last time the tv was off while we were in the house.

This could be me! I ran in once to switch off the Jeremy Kyle show as I didn't want him subjected to all the aggressive shouting . Mind you I can still comment on language and aggressiveness in shows as they look at me ds1 is 12 going on 16!

I think this is one of the best threads I've read on MN.
So funny and relatable

I have a couple more...

Whenever dd did a big poo in her nappy, dh and I would rejoice and discuss in detail. Dh seemed especially proud, like "That's my girl, good on ya"
Dd is nearly 2 now and we still congratulate her on her big plops.

I also used to get teary every time a certain lullaby came on from our dds white noise machine (the grey cloud soft toy one)
My dh would frantically try and change it before I'd start blubbering. For some reason it made me sad, I'd think of my love mum and cry. In my defense, is just given birth & my hormones where all over the place. I told my dm about it recently, she laughed and called me a soppy git.

Oh god I want to swallow myself while when I remember my worst pfb moment.

I had a doll that I used to assess the baby holding abilities of anybody that wanted to hold my precious DD for the first time. Only after passing the doll test AND washing their hands and removing their outdoor coat could they pick her up. I have to admit, the look on my nan's face was priceless ...... especially as she had raised 7 brothers and sisters AND her own kids. I heard my mum saying "just humour her mum, please" and it still didn't twig that I was being unreasonable.

@fantastaballs my toes are curling god love your mum, just humour her - brilliant

@MamaRaisingBoys

I still cringe whenever my family brings this up (frequently)

When PFB was 6 months old he toppled backwards from sitting and hit his head on the caravan floor. I got down on the floor and hit my own head trying to replicate the sound so I could guess how hard he might have hit it and decide if I needed to take him somewhere to get checked out 🥴 I don’t know what I was thinking! 😂

This sounds like something out of 'Bottom'. Ha ha, brilliant!

@fantastaballs

Oh god I want to swallow myself while when I remember my worst pfb moment.

I had a doll that I used to assess the baby holding abilities of anybody that wanted to hold my precious DD for the first time. Only after passing the doll test AND washing their hands and removing their outdoor coat could they pick her up. I have to admit, the look on my nan's face was priceless ...... especially as she had raised 7 brothers and sisters AND her own kids. I heard my mum saying "just humour her mum, please" and it still didn't twig that I was being unreasonable.

This is amazing Did anyone not pass the 'doll test'?

@HopeMumsnet

This has had us in stitches in the office (and you don't want to know what Hebe did to some innocent blueberries) so we are moving it to Classics now. Many thanks for such a good time, GiantWaterBottle!

I think I speak for many when I say , oh yes we do want to know about the blueberries. But no pictures please.

I made my partner wear a headset when playing on his Xbox because you know the tiny newborn sleeping baby will absorb the sound of the gunfire and be traumatised for life/become a gun toting, car jacking hooligan...

We still log most things on an app at 11 months but it's actually been really useful, he has allergies so we get asked a lot of questions at the hospital and I would never have a chance in hell of remembering how many mls he's had per day without it, couldn't even tell you what day of the week it is today

@Slumcat you win this for me proper laughed out loud!

I logged feeds, expressing, nappies and sleeps until she was 10 months old. Still have the app too as I use it to record when her teeth pop through, oops.

I covered the house in sticky notes with French words in the hopes my child would be bilingual. The fact I had a newborn that couldn't even speak or read in English yet, let alone read what the French word for 'Hot Tap' was in the bathroom makes me cringe.

I absolutely love that you did this for a newborn!

@Bananarama101

Yes!! Believe it or not it was the one woman who was fighting my corner..... my mum. I genuinely felt that she didn't support the dolls head enough . I totally overlooked the fact that she had raised three children into their teens AND had a toddler ( my sibling) just 18 months older than my daughter. She just rolled her eyes and took my expert (!) guidance.

In hindsight, she totally saw that I was having a massive wobble. I ended up under the mentalsi health team as I had a post natal psychotic break a few weeks later. Now it's called something else but 25 years ago pnd was still a bit new .

What does PFB mean?

I gave my df four sides of A4 instructions on how to care for ds1 who was ten months old and I would be away about 45 minutes. He laughed as I told him to offer him cooled boiled water in a pre sterilised cup pointing out he was currently chomping on a slipper he'd found by the front door.
Funnily enough when we went on holiday with him years later I barely acknowledged that he had given dd1 (only 4 months) his magnum lolly to chomp on.

At the early stages of weaning, I took PFB to a cafe for lunch. I ordered him some brown toast and a poached egg and got myself a plate of chips. PFB was desperate to have a chip but I had covered them in salt and vinegar....so I sucked the salt and vinegar off so he could have one

@EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad

Precious First Born

@yourdadsunclesfriend hahah! Haven’t we all done that?!

I was terrified of not being prepared, so id always pack a change of clothes, nappies, wipes etc, and a bottle in an insulated bag. ALWAYS…

The local shop was next door but one to our house.

Why?????