What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

When meeting his teacher in year one, I asked if she did star of the week, as Ds didn’t get it in reception. She looked at me with a mixture of pity and contempt.
In reception, Ds got changed and put his shoes on the wrong feet. I complained that he must have been really uncomfortable.
I actually found the transition from paid nursery to school difficult. Going from an overview of what he’d eaten along with his activities to a wave them off took some getting used to. I kept every nursery handover listing his food and activities in chronological order. I found them when he was about 8 and still felt guilty to get rid.

This thread is pure gold.

I wonder what happens in households with multiple generations? Do aunties and grannies just laugh or do you think they 'play along' with the PFB.

@sashh

This thread is pure gold.

I wonder what happens in households with multiple generations? Do aunties and grannies just laugh or do you think they 'play along' with the PFB.

We laugh. A lot.

set up an email address for my PFB and sent them an email every day for over a year, detailing what we had done alongside a picture. I encouraged friends and family to do the same.

I’ve actually done this for my children, I don’t send them daily emails as they’re preteens now but I do send some pics now and again and nice emails.

@winteroversummer

Oh my gosh I'm still so embarrassed about mine.

I asked my mum to put PFB down whilst she was eating her ryvita lunch, as the edges looked too sharp to be near baby

I also sent a FB message to a relative who was coming to meet the baby asking if she minded if nobody but me held PFB in my defence (is there one?!) PFB was 4lb 3oz and tiny and I had severe post partum anxiety, I didn't want to pass him around

The ryvita bit is brilliant! Made my morning!

Thanks for this wonderful thread. It’s 24 years since my pfb was born and I don’t remember so much, but I’m sure I also did the walking backwards with the pram because of the sun.

Nobody yet has mentioned this scenario so I will, though it’s not nearly as funny as some of the others. Pfb had (in one or two rare and wonderful moments) slept through all night and was still sleeping at a reasonable hour… but being a mum of a pfb, I was wholly unable to enjoy the moment for fear that perhaps he’d died or was horribly ill in his cot. Creeping in to see him invariably woke him and the potential lovely quiet moment was lost.

Mostly reading this thread is nostalgic. I’m quite sad I’ll never go through this again. I wanted lots of babies, but ex-h wasn’t so keen. The intensity of the love I felt for them was amazing. I only hope I get some kind of vicarious pleasure if one of my still wonderful children have babies themselves.

I love this thread!

Love these threads.

My PFB is nearly 3 and I still run her bath to an exact 38. I just got a bit of fear as some mention 37 here and I began to panic I had been one degree out for three years. It's ok, I checked my HV book and it says 37-38 and then I've written 38 OK as will cool

She still lies on the Angel care bath seat to wash her very long hair so as not to get soap in her eyes.

I'm pretty much the same with dd2.

I also recorded everything but she was failure to thrive on BF exclusive so we were trying to pinpoint how much she was feeding.

The funniest one I remember here was a lady that got inside the pram, put the rain cover on and made her husband hose it to make sure it was waterproof.....

@3peassuit

I thought my PFB was the most gorgeous baby ever to grace the earth. It was a struggle to resist the urge to hold her aloft in Hammersmith Broadway for all of West London to admire. I genuinely felt sorry for the parents of ordinary babies. After a few months I got a grip.

This. The woman in the bed opposite had a huge baby, well over 11 pounds, in my opinion it looked like the love child of Wayne Rooney and Robert Maxwell compared to my neatly formed offspring. I felt so sorry for her, and hoped she wasn’t too jealous of my stunning dd.

Oh god, my DS (PFB) was born 10 days before the first March lockdown.

I just kinda accepted we were all doomed 😂 I remember having to take him to the hospital for an apt and upon return fully stripping us all (including DH who hadn’t even been in the hospital but had used the car parking machine) and bathing us all fully I was terrified and on reflection suffering poor MH from the shock of Covid

When my DS was new, a few weeks, I noticed his head was a bit misshapen. So to solve this I made him sit in his bouncer at an angle so he'd HAVE to face a certain way and his head would be symmetrical. Also made my DP stick to this rule. Didn't work.

Loving these.

I referred to DS1's age in weeks right up until his first birthday, then months until he was 3 . With DS3 I was like "erm, he was born in October"

When MIL had him for the first time for half a day, I sent a 3 page (front and back) schedule for her, when he needs changed, how he likes to nap and when to have a nap, best way to change his nappy, what he likes to eat and play with etc. Utterly ridiculous thinking about it now.

DS1 also wasn't allowed crisps until well after his first birthday, whereas DS2 was practically weaned on organix veggie puffs.

I was at a baby and toddler music group thing and they put on Baby Shark, with everyone doing the actions. I was most put out, because I was doing baby signing with my PFB and the action for Daddy Shark was the same as the sign for crocodile - clearly for a 10 month old, this would be very confusing and could hinder her signing progress! I contemplated having a quiet word with the organiser at the end, but thought better of it - thank goodness!

Letsallscreamatthesistene

‘^Mamainthemaking
Please keep these coming, they’re so entertaining. I’m pregnant with my first, so I’m also taking notes of things not to do/panic over 🤣’^

’The thing is, despite having read this thread you probably will do something like this. Thats the beauty of having a newborn!’

@Letsallscreamatthesistene I have no doubt.

@firstimemamma

I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.

I did this, but way worse.

Every feed, every nappy, if it was wet/dirty and when weaning started what food.

I did this until 9m old.

Obviously I had PNA although I couldn't see it at the time.

We were walking on the front at the seaside when my PFB was about 12 weeks old, and it became quite windy, and even though she was in her pram I thought the wind might take her breath away because it was blowing directly into the pram. I started walking backwards so the wind was blowing against the back of the pram instead. Made sense in my head but I must've looked a plonker!

I noticed earlier in the thread @WillaWeatherspoon walked backwards because it was sunny and they had no parasol. Glad I'm not the only one 😂

But my favourite, favourite PFB story is the legendary MNer who rubbed Johnsons 'No more tears' baby shampoo into her own eyes. Just to check it did what it said on the bottle.

Hahahahahahaha this is AMAZING!

I set up a special Facebook group so our friends could be kept up to date on PFB's progress. I also got him weighed every week until he was at least 6mo and sent friends and family text messages with the good news. To be fair, I was suffering from horrendous PND and was desperate to prove I was doing something right, but still The FB group was quietly deleted once I got a grip and PFB is now at high school, none the worse for wear.

I logged all feeds, sleeps, and nappies until about 5 months. I don't think it was PFB behaviour though, I was so sleep deprived I literally couldn't remember anything! Although logging the colour and size of the poo may have been overboard 😂

Also wouldn't take my baby out when it was windy until she was about 4/5 months. In case pollen blew into her face.

I wanted to keep her umbilical cord clip as a beautiful memory of the birth... it fell off while I was asleep and DH was changing a shitty nappy and just flung it into the nappy explosion and into the bin. When I awoke and found out what had happened I manically dug through the bin & the shitty nappy to retrieve and wash the cord clip. I'm not sure keeping the clip was really worth that

I have a tonne of kids and my friend just told me on FaceTime that I could try washing them.

I am that mother.
In fairness, I have been mothering for 26 years (most of my life officially) and I never had a PFB - they were all just gorgeous weeds rather than orchids if that makes sense. And brilliant ones at that.

Took mine to a baby group where at the beginning of said group we all laid our babies on the floor, waved a parachute rainbow blanket thing over them whilst singing you are my sunshine, it was my first time at the group and as I was singing along, I could feel tears pricking my eyes and that lump in my throat start to form, I started sobbing, the poor lady next to mr look a little startled and kindly asked if I was ok l, my response - verbatim “yes, it’s just you know, he really is my sunshine”. I even had the audacity to go back the week after. What an utter tosser I was.

We went to a fete which had a bit where they took pictures of your baby and it was a cutest baby competition, judged, I believe, by Cerrie from CBeebies. I was absolutely convinced PFB would win because he was clearly the best baby in the world. I even realised that this was what most mums would think, but actually thought despite this PFB WAS objectively better than all the other babies and would DEFINITELY win. Forced DH to stay to the bitter end to collect our prize. Obviously he did not win. I still have the picture though.

I covered the house in sticky notes with French words in the hopes my child would be bilingual. The fact I had a newborn that couldn't even speak or read in English yet, let alone read what the French word for 'Hot Tap' was in the bathroom makes me cringe.