What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

@MamaRaisingBoys

I think I love you

Oh god I cringe so hard at this... I used to feed ds1 whilst listening to classical music for his bedtime feed..I can remember smugly telling MIL this was his bedtime routine..

Lasted about 3 weeks..

He's now 6 and I've just put the sky box in his room (parental controls are on!) so he can watch telly for an hour before bed after his story...

I also ordered McDonald's for lunch and let him have 2 ice creams for snacks...

Ds2 I can remember watching xfactor with him on the boob whilst I had a glass of wine.. pretty standard bedtime routine for him most of my maternity leave with 2 under 2!

Oh I also used to change every nappy at every breastfeed...even when it was dry 🙈🙈🙈

@Bluenotgreenmilk

I would only feed mine pfb organic,home made food Pampers on her arse Johnson’s wipes,shampoo and bubble bath All her clothes where washed at the smallest bit of puke,ironed and put away in a lined drawer All her bedding was washed and ironed before she was allowed to sleep on it

No 6 was lucky I remembered to feed her,she lived in Tesco’s own nappies,can’t remember what I bathed her in-properly her brothers lynx shower gel and I never ironed a thing for her

I remember with pfb I’d eaten a kebab with extra garlic yogurt
Went to sleep and woke up with awful garlic breath
I made her father have her until I’d showered and brushed my teeth in case my garlic breath harmed her

I once screamed at my mother for bathing her in the sink-it had to be in the bath (she doesn’t have one)
God knows what was going through my brain-babies have been bathed in sinks for years
It was that or stay covered in puke but I was so upset

I sobbed when my mate gave her a chocolate button-and I kept it
I also kept all her teeth-fuck knows why

Filled out her ‘my firsts’ baby book-I was obsessed
No’s 2,3,4,5 and 6-I didn’t even think of buying one for them

I look back and cringe

keeping teeth is actually really useful. They have stem cells so could provide a cure for incurable diseases.

I kept my PFBs piece of dried up skin from his belly button!

Also when he started shaking his head I rushed round to my neighbour gibbering with fear about him having some sort of fit. She started laughing at me, he was just enjoying the sensation of shaking his head... Thank fuck I didn't go to the doctor, I was thinking about it.

@Immunetypegoblin

DH and I kept a notebook of every feed and volume for DS1. We also logged incidence of poos, nappy changing times and incidence of naps (and duration). I maintain that this helped us to feel like we had at least a minor amount of control over our lives and did have practical value in helping us to predict WTF would happen next. So, somewhat against the spirit of the thread, I defend my PFB actions and would probably do it again. Having said that, we didn't bother with DS2

Yes!! Me too. I'd had a CS and back then the policy was to stay in for a week. There was a chart to fill in for feeds, wees and poos and DH and I just thought it was what you did so carried on at home!!

Loving this thread. I can so relate! Don't know which is my favourite though- walking backwards, bumpy road= shaken baby syndrome or hitting head on caravan floor to determine emergency next steps!

Used to wake my sleeping pfb to check he was ‘still alive’ ( mid 80s, cot death scare going round at the time..)
My DH used to threaten to keep waking me to show me how irritating it was!
Still say stupid things like ‘take a coat, it’s forecast to go cold’ and ‘have you eaten properly?’
Have also grabbed his hand to safely cross the road…
He’s 36 soon…

Sooo I may have took the logging a little further… we had a notebook yes… but also a WhatsApp group (just me and DH) and we would take photos if we thought it was a weird poo in case we needed to show HV/ gp and I found a photo on there where I’d taken a photo of formula with LUMPS IN and was beside myself worried what I’d done to my PFB feeding her LUMPS

@sweetgingercat

I realise I’m going to sound very stupid, but how do the teeth help cure a disease? Do you save them in case you get a disease then they’re used, or do you donate them for people to use in research? I’ve searched baby teeth diseases but it just brought up a bunch of pages about baby teeth being removed because of decay 😂

Funny all this talk of logging, DS is 11 weeks old and I’ve never logged feeds or nappies.

Some people would act like it was dangerous to not log everything. My DM kept buying me note books in the hope that I might write something down. My friends kept sending me links to various apps, worried that I wouldn’t notice if something was wrong with my baby.

So I’m not sure logging everything is PFB it seems to be the expected norm.

Oh yes I remember my first so well. Couldn't stand anyone wearing perfume holding him. Everything had to be sterilised within one inch of him. No shoes allowed in the house. All floors, surfaces, toys disinfected every hour.
Yup, the second baby... drops dummy on floor...
Quick wipe on t-shirt and he's good to go 🤭

@Mamainthemaking

Please keep these coming, they’re so entertaining. I’m pregnant with my first, so I’m also taking notes of things not to do/panic over 🤣

The thing is, despite having read this thread you probably will do something like this. Thats the beauty of having a newborn!

Great thread :)

YES quite, Its exceeding cringworthy, to witness these displays by some parents.

I was PFB before DD was even born! I used to read Medieval poetry to my bump because I thought it would make her clever

I took DS to our local (freezing cold) swimming pool when he was like 6 weeks or something. All the other mums in my mums group were at it and I didn't want to harm his development by not taking him to the pool I told the health visitor who laughed and asked 'how long was it before he turned blue'

I also used to put Baby TV on for him when he was a few months old because I was worried he'd be bored, and sit and watch that while he ignored it. Could have been watching Game of Thrones or something

DS1 (30) kept Snappy Snaps going for years with the amount of photos we took of him.

DD1 (23) quite a lot of her but mainly of her birth,baptism

DD2 (19) when she was born and....I think her first birthday?

DD3 (16) all of her being held by or sitting with her older siblings

DS2 (15) one famous one of him as a new born accidentally giving his father the "bird" when asleep

DD4 (10) a lot but all taken by her older siblings as I was too busy being the mother of 6 by this time! I do have one of me and her when she was born....

As a PP ma of 6 said, frankly the youngest was lucky she got fed! But also like another PP I did always warm the wet wipes based on the fact that I wouldnt want a cold wet arse so why would I do that to my newborn :o

I made everyone whisper the Happy Birthday song at DD1s 1st birthday because I thought the loud noise of people singing would scare her.

I blush thinking about it now.

I dont really have a PFB as DS was born with a disability so all of the "OMG what if there is something wrong" moments didnt really happen as he really did have issues.

That said, I did have a weird PFB (Precious Fifth Born) moment with DS2 where I wrote a 4 page A4 (both sides!) instruction sheet for my parents when they had him for the weekend while I took his older sisters away for a couple of days. The fact that they had cheerfully and carefully babysat the older four for years with no issues seemed to have passed me by, they needed telling!

My favourite MN PFB will always be the lady who admitted to parking up outside A&E when weaning her PFB and feeding him a brand new food. This was so if the child had a reaction she could get him right in for help.

Funny and yet very sweet and shows the lengths we go to for our little ones (I would include the baby shampoo story in that too!).

I remember telling SIL how beautiful dd was and that it would be difficult for her to
deal with in later life because she is so
stunning.

She was small and very very skinny - no bouncing baby. She also had really awful cradle cap. Properly terrible the poor thing. The reality was that she looked like ET with leprosy.

I remember chatting to the milkman and telling him what a sweet adorable little girl my PFB was. She then came toddling through,looked at him and said “my mummy did a big poo this morning”. Naturally he collapsed in hysterics. I wanted to shoot myself. I’ve been waiting for three 6’s to appear on her scalp ever since.

Such a great thread!!!

@firstimemamma

Dh meticulously added tiny amounts of hot / cold to baby ds' bath until it was exactly 37 degrees. 36.9 and 37.1 were both unacceptable to him.

That’s tickled me because I do this, not with my pfb but with my (obviously incredibly perfect) granddaughter I can’t remember what to do! I don’t want to hurt her!

@sadsack987 ey with leprosy!!
@DowntrainTrain I love your DH. So funny.

With my pfb, I’d invited my slightly dippy dm to stay with us for lockdown. The first time
She took him out with the pram I made her drill how to put the break on and off and told
Her she couldn’t leave till
I saw ten successful breaks back to back. Then I made DH tail her to make sure she was able to stop at traffic lights.

He’s 20 months now but just a couple of months ago ds threw a shit fit and just wouldn’t stop crying and hurling himself about. I tried a bath, I tried calpol and then I panicked. Made DH get neighbour who has three kids and is a nurse over to check if it was fatal.

She took one look and said- they cry a lot at this age. Give him an ice lolly. I was pretty disappointed to discover that this level of hysteria was to be expected, rather than some explosive illness!