What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

@Oinkypig

Oh god this is embarrassing, I took PFB to the GP as a toddler because he wasn’t listening to me. GP took loads of time testing hearing in lots of different ways. I then asked if it was maybe the fact PFB couldn’t understand my accent as we were in a, still English speaking, but different accent to my country. How that poor GP did not piss himself laughing I will never know, he was so kind.

This one made me laugh the most!

Warmed wipes on the radiator so they weren't to cold when we changed her nappy.

Is this PFB? We still do that with the Andrex wipes when it is cold in the winter. Nobody wants a cold wipe. 😆

My overwhelming cringe moment of having my first baby was sitting in an Internet cafe (this was 2000) and hearing a baby not stop crying, wondering why the parents didn't shut it up. In the end I got up and left.... Got halfway down the high Street and suddenly thought, I'm missing something. Yep, I'd forgotten I had a baby and left him in there screaming.

Luckily the owners knew me and just said "we wondered when you'd realise"

In my defence, DS1 was in NICU for 6 weeks so I was used to not having him with me!!! 😂

Oh my God, I took my firstborn daughter to the doctor because she was 'blinking too much'. How he managed to keep a straight face is beyond me.
To be fair, it really was a phase she was going through at the time, and I had heard that excessive blinking could be linked to Tourette's.
Still blinkin ridiculous though

There was also another time at soft play. A wee boy in a Little Tikes coupe car was hurtling towards my daughter, an evil grin on his face. Ex husband stuck his foot out

@MamaRaisingBoys

I still cringe whenever my family brings this up (frequently)

When PFB was 6 months old he toppled backwards from sitting and hit his head on the caravan floor. I got down on the floor and hit my own head trying to replicate the sound so I could guess how hard he might have hit it and decide if I needed to take him somewhere to get checked out 🥴 I don’t know what I was thinking! 😂

This is AMAZING 😂

^^ is see my contribution is old hat!!

I would only feed mine pfb organic,home made food
Pampers on her arse
Johnson’s wipes,shampoo and bubble bath
All her clothes where washed at the smallest bit of puke,ironed and put away in a lined drawer
All her bedding was washed and ironed before she was allowed to sleep on it

No 6 was lucky I remembered to feed her,she lived in Tesco’s own nappies,can’t remember what I bathed her in-properly her brothers lynx shower gel and I never ironed a thing for her

I remember with pfb I’d eaten a kebab with extra garlic yogurt
Went to sleep and woke up with awful garlic breath
I made her father have her until I’d showered and brushed my teeth in case my garlic breath harmed her

I once screamed at my mother for bathing her in the sink-it had to be in the bath (she doesn’t have one)
God knows what was going through my brain-babies have been bathed in sinks for years
It was that or stay covered in puke but I was so upset

I sobbed when my mate gave her a chocolate button-and I kept it
I also kept all her teeth-fuck knows why

Filled out her ‘my firsts’ baby book-I was obsessed
No’s 2,3,4,5 and 6-I didn’t even think of buying one for them

I look back and cringe

I had excel spreadsheets logging every feed, nappy change, naps and night sleep and medication for DTs.

To be fair they were prem, and I was VERY sleep deprived so needed to keep track.

When I went back to work I had a schedule logged out for the day for every 10 minutes and what they should be doing in those 10 minute slots😬

Their granny was lowest - she used to warm the wipes on the radiator in case they were too cold and dettol the dogs feet when he came in from a walk!

@idontlikealdi

I had excel spreadsheets logging every feed, nappy change, naps and night sleep and medication for DTs.

To be fair they were prem, and I was VERY sleep deprived so needed to keep track.

When I went back to work I had a schedule logged out for the day for every 10 minutes and what they should be doing in those 10 minute slots😬

Their granny was lowest - she used to warm the wipes on the radiator in case they were too cold and dettol the dogs feet when he came in from a walk!

Worst, not lowest!

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon haha well done I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and don't think I'll have the time for all the logging fun next time around!!

My pfb was a summer born, it was really hot and I refused to let my husband open any windows over night in case someone put a ladder against our window and stole him in the night, we have a loud and excellent hearing dog and baby was about about 30cm away from me, I totally would have heard someone trying to climb through the windows and realistically no one would ever do that but all summer we sweated it out 😂I know full well how ridiculous it sounds!

@firstimemamma

I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.

I did exactly the same thing

@winteroversummer

It's all coming flooding back. I wouldn't wear perfume and only showered in unscented products because didn't want my PFB to be confused about why his mum smells different.

I also called 111 when he was three months and had his first cold and they asked the generic dramatic questions that they always do to work out if it's something serious, and they said 'is he struggling for breath with every breath' and I replied 'yes' because he was snotty and technically finding it tricky... before my husband took the phone off me and corrected me

I'm still at this stage! A couple of weeks ago when the weather was better DH and I sat outside with the chiminea lit for an hour after DS had gone to bed. When we came in I had a shower in case the smoky smell freaked DS out when he woke in the night ... very first world problem, I know...

Confession- my PFB is 5 months. I log every feed, I check the temperature in the bath so it's definitely not higher than 37, I sit next to her car seat and cover her if the sun is on her, I check the temperature every night so I dress her appropriately for her sleeping bag. Reading this over, I sound crazy! The thing is though, despite this, I know I'm going to carry on doing all of this!

This isn’t my fault. It’s my DM’s fault really, When my PFB was 2 and I was heavily pregnant with DD2, we decorated our hall. We had recently moved into our house and had a lot to do in it. We booked carpet fitters to replace our hall carpet.

They were fitting the carpet and PFB was watching them. I was sitting in my dining room working on my laptop, directly next to the hall. The carpet fitters were lovely and were chatting to DD1 / PFB. She sat next to them and they got her to “help” them fit the carpet - handing them their tools etc. As I said, they were really lovely.

Carpet fitter: “you are such a clever girl, thank you for helping me. Would you like to be a carpet fitter when you are older?”

PFB: “no, I am going to be a paediatric consultant when I grow up”

Needless to say I wanted the ground to swallow me up. They probably thought we were such snobby fuckers.

As I said, it was all my mums fault as she had brainwashed her precious first born granddaughter!

I sobbed when DD was two minutes late for her nap because it would ruin the rest of her naps for the day, and therefore bedtime. She was an atrocious sleeper who only catnapped in the day (and only in her cot after extensive rocking), and keeping those naps perfect was my way of controlling it somewhat. Plus, she did sleep marginally better when the routine was adhered to. Still, two minutes! And this upset happened more than once...

I swore I wouldn't be like it with the second, and I wasn't really. But if DS was late for his naps I did get anxious about it. Just not quite as much! He did sleep in the buggy though, so at least we could leave the house.

I have done most of these things! One that sticks out is when I was convinced the AngelCare monitor wasn’t set up properly by DH and my dad so I kept lying on it and holding my breath to see if the alarm would go off . I think the morphine was still wearing off at that point.

I don't know if this counts as it was before ds was even born but in my first pregnancy I had a cringey 'pregnancy folder'. If had endless things in it like lists of stuff to buy for the baby. The weirdest thing I found in it was an ingredients list from pregnacare boxes cut out and sellotaped onto a sheet of paper with dates so you could see exactly when I had moved on from the conception to the pregnancy tablets and how the ingredients differed. There was also a laminated list of foods that I decided I must be eating and a 'care plan' e.g week x bump cream and perennial massage for x mins. I only stumbled across this folder as I'm pregnant again and it's safe to say I had a laugh and then destroyed the bloody thing! What was I thinking?

My pfb was a difficult birth with forceps delivery. Looking back his wee head was perhaps a bit misshapen for the first few days.
I was giving him his first bath at home and froze in panic when I saw what I thought was a dent at the side if his head. Shouted dh as was asking has his head been bumped and was racking my brain trying to remember when in my sleep deprived state I had bumped him. Was about to rush off to a&e when dh said quietly "the other sides the same is that not his temple". It was just his head shape no dent. he had not bumped his head. Thank god dh was there or I would have went to a&e saying I must have bumped his head and forgot.

There was a poster who washed her own eyes in baby shampoo to test the no tears theory.

I took my 6 day old PFB to A&E because she was covered in a rash on her face that I was positive was meningitis.

It was baby acne 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I had a few too. I set up the baby monitor when I went from the lounge into the kitchen for two minutes. I live in a tiny terrace.

I also told off a van driver when out with the pram because he’d left his engine running and it might have hurtled towards baby and me.

@Giantwaterbottle

Oh these are making me feel better thank you all 🤣 Also making me remember some more of mine! The not wearing perfume or scents. Used to be upset when he'd be handed back and smell of other people. Also walked backwards with the buggy to stop the sun going in his eyes.

And a very mental one, breastfed him while he was in his car seat and we were driving on the motorway. I was strapped in beside him doing a weird contortion to get my boob in his mouth because I couldn't handle him being upset 🙈

LOL oh yes and because of this same problem with PFB so we categorically did not drive anywhere longer than 15 minutes away for the first 6 months. Then I got over it. LOL

Taking my newborn DD to A&E because her very normal looking toe seemed a little wonky to me.

I work in frontline emergency medicine

These are amazing!!!

I subjected our friends to a painful recital of heafs shoukders knees and toes by my 'very advanced' 18mo put the song on the alexa and made them watch her while I over enthusiastically screeched the instructions to her, which she completely ignored 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ I want the ground to seallow me whole everytime I think about it, they're due thsir own PFB soon and they definitely owe me one