What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

Laughing so much at these

I remember on the maternity ward admiring my beautiful tiny 5lb prem baby daughter sleeping and wondering why all the full term 8lbers were crying and making such a fuss - and why the hell couldn’t they pack it in as they were so much bigger & older than her. They were hours old.

Took mine to a baby group where at the beginning of said group we all laid our babies on the floor, waved a parachute rainbow blanket thing over them whilst singing you are my sunshine, it was my first time at the group and as I was singing along, I could feel tears pricking my eyes and that lump in my throat start to form, I started sobbing, the poor lady next to mr look a little startled and kindly asked if I was ok l, my response - verbatim “yes, it’s just you know, he really is my sunshine”. I even had the audacity to go back the week after. What an utter tosser I was.

this is adorable. Completely barking, but adorable.

I wasn't too bad. I did make DS1 sushi once, because onigiri were in that bloody baby-led weaning cookbook. I bought sushi rice and everything. I think we still have the rest of that packet somewhere.

I also froze out MIL for a day because she let 6mo DS1 taste a tiny bit of chocolate on her finger when he was 6mo. I was furious, FURIOUS that his first taste of solids was not something nutritious and did not come from me. I also used to make my own fish fingers for toddler DS out of healthy white fish dipped in egg and coated in polenta. Needless to say, I now have a megabag of generic Tesco chicken nuggets and another one of fish fingers in my freezer.

DS2 started weaning himself at 5mo when he simply grabbed a chocolate chip cookie off his brother and started sucking on it. I took pictures. They were hilarious.

In the 70s we were even more horizontal!

Well, it had to change somewhat. At least there do not have to be dozens of public information films made now about not playing on railway lines, pylons or grain silos, stranger danger and throwing fireworks.

@itstheyearzero

At the early stages of weaning, I took PFB to a cafe for lunch. I ordered him some brown toast and a poached egg and got myself a plate of chips. PFB was desperate to have a chip but I had covered them in salt and vinegar....so I sucked the salt and vinegar off so he could have one

Not weird.

I deliberately don't put salt and vinegar on half my chips in case DD wants some.

All this talk of weaning diaries reminded me that I wrote down every new word DD1 learned to say in a diary. She was actually well ahead on speaking, so there were lists and list of new words by her 1st birthday - by then she could do short sentences too.

I think I got fed up with so much writing in the end, and realised what a stupid waste of time it was because it stopped abruptly.

However I did keep the diary and it was very useful years later as DD1 took A level English Language and they covered babies speech development so she was able to take it in.

My PFB was given a taste of onion soup before I tried it, when I did I thought it was far too salty for her and what on earth kind of damage must have been caused. So I emailed the cafe asking for the exact amount of salt used in the recipe

Now she licks butter straight from the tub

itstheyearzero

At the early stages of weaning, I took PFB to a cafe for lunch. I ordered him some brown toast and a poached egg and got myself a plate of chips. PFB was desperate to have a chip but I had covered them in salt and vinegar....so I sucked the salt and vinegar off so he could have one

My SIl soaks chips in a bowl of cold water before handing them to her DS. Well she DID...but it took her till he was 5 to stop! Poor kid only knew chips as soggy cold potato!

About the logging of feeds, naps, poos etc - my twins are 18-months and I still do it!!

I started doing it in hospital, and then continued on. I thought of stopping when they reached one year old, but then thought that if they went to crèche, you'd get a little daily sheet of what they ate/activities etc, so carried on.

My sister laughs at me, saying that when the children are teenagers, I'll sit them down to go though it all..." on the 4 July you had spaghetti bolognese and one poo. On the 5 July you had chicken pie.." etc!

(Even knowing I'm PFB, I'm still going to continue doing it!)

Doll test 😂

Our friends sends us a photo of her son daily. It was fun for the first few weeks... Two years later I have her on mute. On the rare occasion she forgets to get a photograph she messages to apologize! We already have our own kids, never asked for the baby spam!

Same friends also records all times for naps, feeds (including how long it takes to eat all meals and snacks) and any time of waking up in the night and proceeds to tell me this detail regularly as if it's interesting information. I have suggested gently she might want to take it easy and just enjoy her son as he is clearly thriving and a very happy chap - but she thinks if she stops now she will lose all her 'progress'.

I also have relative who came to visit for a cuppa when her child was 8 weeks old and brought half the house with her. This included a special chair she would put her child in at a set time and rub their tummy to encourage them to poo. Is this a thing? I was astonished but not sure if it's some parenting ethos I had not heard of! Mine always pooed without any intervention!

Same relative walked the 8 week old around the living room by their arms, saying she was training the baby to walk now because they already had a step reflex and she didn't want them to lose it. Poor thing could barely hold their head up properly yet! Never saw the baby without them being dragged around by their arms above thier head in the first year. Walked alone at a pretty average age as far as I recall.

Howling at these!

Ok so some years ago o was on a flight to Australia with my then four year old. I pushed the button to ask the flight attendant if there was any chance of showing my child the cockpit. I remember her peering into the bassinet like WTF! It was Years after 9/11 and I knew visitors weren’t allowed to visit the captain anymore )like we’d done as children) but thought they might make an exception for my cute baby. Cringe!

Urgh meant four month old not four year old!

I love this thread! I too was obsessed with listing everything, and believed my PFB was the most beautiful and the cleverest child ever born.

I used to leave long lists of instructions for the Grandparents when they looked after her, which they laughed at and reminded me they had all been there and done that.

Nonetheless, Grandparents are evidently not immune from PFBism. My mum and dad were preoccupied with draughts. Mum would surreptitiously feel the back of PFB’s neck when I was holding her to check she wasn’t ‘In a draught’.

Once I was cradling PFB while on a Skype call with my Dad who was working in Canada at the time. Dad looked concerned and asked ‘Is PFB warm enough? I’m not sure she has enough layers on’. It didn’t seem to occur to him that the temperature of my living room may not have been the same as the temperature of his office 5000 miles away 😆

@Kanaloa

I was exactly like this 😂 I remember sitting with two other girls I knew thinking ‘why do their babies look like boiled potatoes and mine is the reincarnation of Achilles.’

Love looking back at photos and realising my baby was equally potato looking.

We called our DC3 - Spud in a Frock for ages. Still do. She's 25 yrs. she doesn't like it.

‘Spud in a Frock‘

When DD came home, it was bitterly cold minus 8C. We had one of those gro eggs that tells you if your room is the right temperature. We slept with the thermostat by the bed and woke every half hour to turn the heating on or off depending on the colour of the gro egg. Throughout the night.

When my GS was born he kept his eyes closed, for a good few hours after birth, like babies do - but my DD (his mum) panicked the whole time that he didn't have eyeballs

Thankfully she only shared her concerns with me and not the midwives.

@lemmein

When my GS was born he kept his eyes closed, for a good few hours after birth, like babies do - but my DD (his mum) panicked the whole time that he didn't have eyeballs

Thankfully she only shared her concerns with me and not the midwives.

This made me laugh!

When DD2 got to 10 months with no teeth I was convinced she had no teeth 😂

didn’t have eyeballs 😂

@Stickyjamhands

I have also rubbed baby shampoo in my eyes (dilute). It stung. A lot. I also licked some (to check my pfb would not drink it). It did not taste good

I have one on behalf of DP, who has shot nerf gun pellets at point blank range into his own eye to check to see if it would blind DS.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

In the 70s we were even more horizontal!

Well, it had to change somewhat. At least there do not have to be dozens of public information films made now about not playing on railway lines, pylons or grain silos, stranger danger and throwing fireworks.

Because those things never happen now? You need to get out more if you think that,

Same relative walked the 8 week old around the living room by their arms, saying she was training the baby to walk now because they already had a step reflex and she didn't want them to lose it.

Your relative... really does not understand about the primitive reflexes.

I was 17 when I had DS1 and still living with my mum, who had my 6 year old brother.

Well, when DS1 was about a week old she decided she wanted to take him on the school run. The school being 5 minutes away. I stood in the window watching as she walked down the street, and continued to watch until they came back into view and rushed to open the door. Then i checked him over when he came in to ensure he hadn't come to any harm.

My mum managed to raise 4 of us without issue so why I thought my PFB wouldn't be ok I dont know.

I have an eye one. DD was pretty refluxy so threw up a fair bit. When she was about 2 months I was pushing her in the pram, and looked down to see her whole eye was white. Ran home panicking.

She'd thrown up, moved her head to the side, and got sick all round her eye. None actually in it as far as I could tell. Was perfectly fine.

I also, on another occasion, rang 111 because I thought there was a yellow speck in her sick.