What's the most wanky thing you have ever done?!

[lardylegs123]

I cringe when I think of this. First year of university, and I was studying Languages. I'm from a working class, Scottish family and was the first ever to go to university. Mother's Day comes and I thought it would be a nice idea to write out the card entirely in the languages I've been studying I thought mum would be so impressed, but she just looked at me and said 'but Lardylegs, I cannae understand a word'.
I think I was too busy being a pretentious dick, that I'd forgotten about this mere detail

I moved to a new town when I was 12 and decided to wear glasses with clear glass because I thought I'd look cool and intellectual with specs. What an eejit.

I’m learning Latin for fun, because I’m fascinated by etymology. I was pretty sure (I’d hoped) I’d hit optimum wankiness but I now realise my first sentence was even wankier.

We have a pool. Its so wanky but it was there when we moved in!

I must confess that I'm an accent sponge but it is a totally unconscious reaction and my efforts, when I catch myself out, to consciously NOT do it often lead to a much wankier manifestation han just riding with it.
I have no idea why I do it unless it's psychological. An outcast amongst my siblings (they a very close in age and close knit group of three all over the age of 7 when I, the, "accident", came along,) I've always had trouble, "fitting in" anywhere.

I’m also an accent sponge, but I may struggle to soak up a Latin accent, unless I move to the Vatican City.

We have a downstairs bedroom that is just full of books on shelves
We call it ‘the library’

@Purplecatshopaholic I was listening to them today!

I moved when I was quite young and went to a private school. I did the upwards convergence thing and sounded posh.

A few people corrected my northern vowel sounds and I started using southern vowels and saying things like barrrth (bath) but dropped that after a while. It was just too pretentious.

I remember having a conversation with a school friend about how difficult it was when the cleaner went on holiday.

@SmugglersHaunt

When I was 12 I choreographed a dance routine (with costumes) to the entire The Velvet Underground and Nico album with some other kids in our street (who pretty much didn’t know what was going on), then made the woman next door sit through it all. I sometimes still wake up in a sweat thinking about how pretentious it was (and how inappropriate)

Omg! This has made me laugh for about 30 minutes lol.. DP looking at me like I'M a wanker 😂😂 actually rolling about the sofa.. so funny.. the whole fucking album.. you are a legend! Keep picturing the woman next door being made to watch it all 😂😂😂 best laugh I've had for ages...cheers!

Not me but my Dad. He bought a Mercedes and always referred to it as The Mercedes or The Merc, never the car.
We were out with my DDs and my brothers kids and they all liked being driven around by my dad because they had a singalong in the car. They were getting in while he stood getting more irate at them . Watch the doors of The Mercedes, mind you don't scratch The Mercedes type of thing.
The next day he ripped the entire side of The Mercedes after driving into a skip he didn't see
Thankfully he went back to a Toyota after that.

@PacifyLulu @Iamaperiwinkle I agree - I’m afraid ‘roof, goose, will and hugs’ sounds incredibly pretentious!

@Itgetsthehoseagain I've found my people! Yass of course, come round for an artisan G&T. Bring your own botanicals hun.

@ScrollingLeaves

“Letsallscreamatthesistene

EishetChayil
A friend once asked me if I liked watching reality tv. I said, in all seriousness, "No - I prefer the higher pursuits."

blush

😂😂😂😂 did your friend speak to you again?!”

As a 12 yr old I went to see The Sound of Music with my grandparents and younger sister.

Afterwards, my grandmother said something about how much she had enjoyed it. I replied, “Little things for little minds.”

Can you imagine anything more awful? My grandfather went deadly silent. My beloved grandmother just said sweetly, “She didn’t mean it.” I have been eternally grateful to her for that.

I have watched and enjoyed TSOM many times since.

That’s really sad :( did you apologise?

@Cocolapew
Is your dad Sheila Bloom?

Ok so just remembered another wanky incident.

Sending an email to my husband's PA (if that's not wanky enough, nobody knows we have one) thanking him for ordering hampers, giving my food requests for a wanky corporate hospitality thing, telling him to cancel my husband's diary so I can go on wanky skiing trip with my friends, asking him to share all our wanky Christmas chocolates with the staff, and to make sure my husband's credit card staysbehind the bar for the Christmas do etc. Only I sent it to another person of the same name, a very down to earth CEO who I was helping out. Oh the shame shame shame.

The email I got back was pure sarcasm. Neither of us have mentioned it since. I'm cringing just thinking about this.

It was real moment of self awareness when I read that email back to myself.

[quote FelicityBeedle]@Cocolapew
Is your dad Sheila Bloom?[/quote]
Bitchface

[quote Musmerian]@troobleflooble - I think you mean effect change. (Pedantic but true.)[/quote]
I have a feeling that this definitely isn’t one of the most wanky things that you’ve said 😅

I used to go clubbing all of the time back in the late 90s and smoked. I used to put my cigarettes in one of those holders thinking I looked sophisticated when in reality I looked more like Bet Lynch.......cringe!

When talking to someone who stutters, I start to stutter too. Revert to normal soon after, have no idea how far into the conversation I start. Have had one person say oh I didn't realise you stutter, you hide it so well .

Absolute classic

When my DS was about 6-7m old I went to a new mums and baby group and actually heard myself use the phrase ‘he is very advanced’

I heard it come out. I heard the wankiness. I saw one mum roll her eyes at my wankiness…. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

I never went back to said mums and baby group….

@LakieLady

The wankiest thing I ever did (and there were many) was to affect writing 'seven' with a french slash. It stuck and I now can't write them the normal English way

Not only did I do this, I started writing the letter "e" like Greek e's and have never been able to change back.

I've just realised I've got wanky z's as some teacher's affectation I've stolen and appropriated

I do love my J though. Copied from a superb teacher and I still love it wanky though it may be

Back in my uni days I was unaccustomed to sleazebags on the street. One approached me and told me he was a scout for a modelling agency. He gave me a business card and took my number. I believed every word and went back to my shared house to brag to my friends. I thought they were being jealous when they cast doubt on my big break.

Then the bloke rang while I was out and started asking my housemate if she would pose topless for him. I hope to god none of my housemates remember it. I'm so embarrassed for myself!

I wore a beret that made me look completely ridiculous.

When my DD was about 3 her favourite food was Mango, every Monday she had swimming lessons and I used to bribe her that if she was good she could have Mango on the way home. This one time she was been really naughty and I rather loudly said 'if you don't behave you can't have any Mango' everyone around me looked at me like I was a right twat and performance parenting . She still loves Mango but chocolate works as a better bribe now

I@lardylegs123 I once goosed a chap at the Chichester Open Air Chalk Museum .

It was a mistake & I can explain how it happened

A long time ago.