Just checking what I can actually do in my garden

[Originalyellowbelly]

Obviously not BBQ, fire pit, children, tree houses, pools, climbing frames, footballs, bonfires, low fences, music, parties,DIY , lawn mowing, extensions, cats, dogs, have I missed anything? Wouldn't want to piss off anyone within 50 miles of me.

somethinginoffensive I have so many things wrong with me, as have been pointed out to me on this thread.

The only real question is does whatever you are doing in your garden give you any kind of pleasure or positive emotion ?

If so you must not do that!

Ahem halves I don’t know what came over me

@grumpygiraffe

Just try not to be an arsehole.

Seems like good advice for those apparently confused by the need to give a fuck about other people?

We had the audacity to lean a bit of wood against our fence the other day for a couple of hours. Not a huge bit, just a decking panel (yes, we have decking too, we are awful).

It protruded above the back neighbours fence by about 6 inches. He came round to ask me to move it because it was 'bothering his dog'...

Don’t leave your washing out all night to get darked on because of those spider willies. But that’s obvious.

Originalyellowbelly you get get these cat ones off Amazon

Absolutely no smiling. Any form of happiness will make your neighbours think you are now breaking all covid rules and are gloating!

Whatever you do, do not water the chuffing fence!! 😅

Stare at the grass.

Summoning demons is also acceptable.

*You must never ever start a conversation with your neighbour.

Ever.*

You must train your children to keep their eyes down at all times while outside and never interact with adults.

Your children must never ever enquire across a fence if they can play with or visit the children in neighbouring gardens.

This is the most anti social of all behaviour.

@BarbaraofSeville

If you do let your grass grow 'to feed the bees' you must not let it fill up with dandelions as that's low quality pseudo food, the bee version of McDonald's as it were.

Ours has thousands of daisies except when it has just been mowed. Not so many dandelions. So our bees must be doing great, especially the one that decided to divebomb DH out there this morning. 😂

The light will reflect off your kindle screen and potentially blind your neighbours! How very inconsiderate

@KevinTheGoat

Stare at the grass.

Summoning demons is also acceptable.

You have to draw a pentangle in a hot tub.

Never leave your washing out overnight in case it gets darked on or. worse still has spiders rubbing their willies on it.

Never sit in your front garden.

Don’t admire anything in your neighbours garden.

@WingingItSince1973

Absolutely no smiling. Any form of happiness will make your neighbours think you are now breaking all covid rules and are gloating!

It means you're "smug". And probably attention seeking.

Sunbathe - it's tacky and so 80's

Hot tubs are extremely frowned upon - sperm filled cesspits.

No fake grass. Plastic seating - yuck.

No children - they shall be seen and not heard.

Gardeners are ok though - you may have one of those.

Tiptoe and breath quietly.
Cut the grass with scissors.
Remove your washing before it's anywhere remotely near dusk.
Never, ever, remove any kind of plant because you will immediately label yourself as a planet-destroyer, and the arch-enemy of wildlife.
Don't complain about cats shitting in your garden.

@FadedRed

Has nobody mentioned the absolute no-no that are Gnomes? Especially the ‘bare-arsed’/bought in Asda/comic variety. I imagine that one or two genuine antique ‘Black Forest’ hand-carved, authentic, made in Switzerland might just be acceptable IF they were inherited family heirlooms with sentimental associations. Just ensure they are displayed discretely.

Artistically in a well established flower bed only

Don’t throw snails over the fence

@Rockdown2020

Don’t leave your washing out all night to get darked on because of those spider willies. But that’s obvious.

Why do some posters come here and state the blooming obvious. Of course the OP knows that already.

Don't talk to children over the fence especially ones that keep asking questions

@youkiddingme

Just checking what I can do in my own garden:

Obviously not peg out laundry while neighbour is having a BBQ, or enjoying their fire pit, bonfires.
Not read in peace or enjoy the birds visiting while there is noise from children, pools, music, parties.
Not expect the plants in my garden or the panes in my greenhouse to remain intact if there are footballs, and low fences,
Enjoy no privacy if there are climbing fences and tree houses next to the boundary.
Not be able to grow my own veg, nor risk small children helping dig the garden, without risking toxoplasmosis since the neighbours cat thinks my garden is its litter tray.
Not go out in my own garden without the neighbour's dog barking incessantly.

I'm not suggesting that people, myself included should never do any of the things you listed OP. But every coin has two sides. If all the things you do in your own garden stayed in your own garden there would be no conflict of interest. But they don't.

If more people at least considered the result of their actions on others and endeavoured to mitigate the negative effects as far as possible there would be a lot less AIBU threads about in on MN.

Who spat on your bonfire?

Security lights, never aim it at neighbours bedroom.

I have two wind chimes. Proper wind chimes, but two of them. I give zero fucks.🖕🏻

My cat doesn't shit in anyone's garden though.