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Original poster

I farted in my surgeons face today.

370 replies

ImprobablePuffin · 21/05/2021 16:57

AND I have to see him again 4 more times over the coming weeks !

God I may never live it down, he had me standing in front of him in my undies and a gown and he was sitting in front of me at belly height. He was feeling around my tummy and just pressed the wrong spot which catapulted a fart of mammoth proportions right out of me. I swear it echoed around his posh office!

Please cheer me up with your most embarrassing situations I really need a laugh before I curl up and die.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 21/05/2021 23:37

“I feel like sooty” got me wheezing with laughter, like Mutley! 🤣🤣🤣

Sp3849 · 21/05/2021 23:42

I pooped all over the bed during childbirth but i never worried about it as a health care worker. I have worked on trauma, orthopeadics and the district and I can honestly say we see it all. A fart is nothing! I have been vommited on. Urinated on. Pooped on. Farted on. Spat at. Hit and kicked. I have had to trim public hair, and anus hair. I have been covered in blood had wound ooze pour all over my shoes. I have seen maggots crawling in wounds where people have not sought medical help. I have had to put my hands places and see things and heard things that most people would probably be horrified at. But honestly i haven't given it a second thought until now youbhave asked this question. You are definitely not the first to fart infront of your doctor and definitely won't be the last and I am sure he/she has witnessed a hell of alot worse. Hopefully your doctor made you feel comfortable and laughed with you. We are all the same dont be embarrassed xx

chocolatepudandchocolatesauce · 21/05/2021 23:43

@Cocolapew I had a scan of my womb too and the Dr told me it was "beautiful" Grin I very proudly tell my friends 🤣

Misty9 · 21/05/2021 23:43

@Cocolapew

In labour with DD1 the Dr wanted to put a clip on her head as her heartbeat was dipping. He clipped his glove to her head as well, so was crouched at the business end trying to get his hand and glove out of my vadge. I said I felt like Sooty and laughed so hard at my own joke I farted in his face. I never saw him for the rest of my labour.
This has just finished me off! 🤣🤣 Did he get the reference?!
Talkwhilstyouwalk · 21/05/2021 23:45

@Sp3849

I pooped all over the bed during childbirth but i never worried about it as a health care worker. I have worked on trauma, orthopeadics and the district and I can honestly say we see it all. A fart is nothing! I have been vommited on. Urinated on. Pooped on. Farted on. Spat at. Hit and kicked. I have had to trim public hair, and anus hair. I have been covered in blood had wound ooze pour all over my shoes. I have seen maggots crawling in wounds where people have not sought medical help. I have had to put my hands places and see things and heard things that most people would probably be horrified at. But honestly i haven't given it a second thought until now youbhave asked this question. You are definitely not the first to fart infront of your doctor and definitely won't be the last and I am sure he/she has witnessed a hell of alot worse. Hopefully your doctor made you feel comfortable and laughed with you. We are all the same dont be embarrassed xx
Absolutely!! I like this post. We are all humans with the same bodily functions. Even the queen farts!
Shedbuilder · 21/05/2021 23:45

In the days before spray tans I booked six sessions in a tanning booth salon. Arrived at the salon, was shown down a corridor to a little room with the tanning machine. Halfway through I began to feel uncomfortable and let a fart fly. Later, as I was getting dressed I let a particularly stinking one rip. But I was in a separate room, no one would know.

Except that when I walked through the reception area to leave, I could smell my terrible farty stink and the woman at the desk was fanning the street door backwards and forwards, trying to get rid of it. I looked up to see a ventilation pipe sticking through the wall, funnelling all my noxious fumes through.

I'd booked six sessions but that was the first and last — and she never contacted me to ask why!

supercee · 21/05/2021 23:48

@Sp3849

I pooped all over the bed during childbirth but i never worried about it as a health care worker. I have worked on trauma, orthopeadics and the district and I can honestly say we see it all. A fart is nothing! I have been vommited on. Urinated on. Pooped on. Farted on. Spat at. Hit and kicked. I have had to trim public hair, and anus hair. I have been covered in blood had wound ooze pour all over my shoes. I have seen maggots crawling in wounds where people have not sought medical help. I have had to put my hands places and see things and heard things that most people would probably be horrified at. But honestly i haven't given it a second thought until now youbhave asked this question. You are definitely not the first to fart infront of your doctor and definitely won't be the last and I am sure he/she has witnessed a hell of alot worse. Hopefully your doctor made you feel comfortable and laughed with you. We are all the same dont be embarrassed xx

Respect!

Rockmehardplace · 21/05/2021 23:52

I farted whilst doing Scottish country dancing at a wedding and 6 other people had to twirl through my reeking fart cloud.

I blamed DP.

Confusedmeanderings · 22/05/2021 00:02

My much loved Grandma was a bit of a Hyacinth Bucket, she liked to think she was posher than she actually was. She came to stay with us one Christmas. One evening some carol singers turned up. We all stood at the door to listen to them sing and then dutifully we each put some money in their collecting tin. My Dad turned to Grandma and asked her if she had anything for the carol singers, she immediately let rip with loudest, most rumbling fart ever. That story is now a family legend 😀

Cocolapew · 22/05/2021 00:06

We should have got the scan pictures and framed them @chocolatepudandchocolatesauce 😊

I don't think he did @Misty9 🤷🏻

Cocolapew · 22/05/2021 00:07

DH farted in his biking leathers once and when he took them off 4 hours later the smell escaped Shock

oopsshetoots · 22/05/2021 00:19

Amazing thread! I have had a dancing into fart cloud moment but I was the victim! Was at body combat years ago and whoever was doing it must have just been doing them all session as more than once I got engulfed by her butt burps.

oopsshetoots · 22/05/2021 00:26

Oh also one time at a bar I did a fart then walked up to a group of friends, it followed me (definitely was mine) and I joined in with all the disgusted looks acting like it was nothing to do with me.

My friend cracks me up because whenever we are out and I say ew someone’s farted, she always does massive sniffs and then is shocked and horrified when she smells a bad smell. What did you think was going to happen? I told you so you could hold your breath!

stealingbeauty · 22/05/2021 00:29

I had a surgery recently and as soon as I came round from the anaesthetic I had a serious urge to fart. It was uncontrollable farting, it was so painful to hold them in. I just didn’t stop farting for hours after the surgery and i know it must have started during the surgery. My paper pants had been torn open at the side so obviously one of the nurses had checked to see if I’d crapped myself while I was still under. I have no idea why it happened but I can only think the drugs I was given affected my stomach in some way. I’m still so embarrassed about it.

sweetgingercat · 22/05/2021 00:30

I used to take my young son to a violin class. When he went through that familiar stage of loving everything to do with farty-poohs he would regularly and proudly fart in his music lesson and for good measure go and stand next to his teacher who suffered in silence.

I used to think it was impossible to feel any more embarrassment until day the smell was so overwhelming she left the room and I hurried after her. As I apologised we turned back to look through the window to see him smilingly enjoying the swirling stench of his own brown fart cloud alone...

BoraNatty · 22/05/2021 00:33

Slightly off topic but it reminds me of a lovely English teacher I worked with. She had had a few gynaecological problems so was sent to the hospital and had to have a intimate exam- she says the worst bit was halfway through when the medical student was called over to have a prod- he had been in her Form the year previously.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 22/05/2021 00:34

This thread is wonderful. Sooty & the bus fall are my favourites so far.

AliceSprings123 · 22/05/2021 00:46

...and so to bed (yawn)
giggling about Sooty GrinGrinGrin

Sleepybunny21 · 22/05/2021 00:56

When I was about 19 I was out at the pub with my friend, and had the gripeyest tummy ever, and kept having to do slow controlled silent fart releases. The problem was each one absolutely stank, and my friends facial expression each time it happened was one of pure horror. I started blaming it on various other people in the pub, and she didn't catch on that it was me, and was convinced someone must be following us around doing horrendous farts on purpose, even started side eyeing people accusingly.

After we got a taxi back to our street, I admitted that it has been me farting all along, and she was laughing so hard she woke up her mum who was asleep in the house 😂😂😂 she hadn't suspected me at all, my fart poker face must have been impeccable

wildeatheart · 22/05/2021 01:02

@thisisbull

Went for a smear and as she inserted the speculum my eBay app made the ka-ching! Noise that meant I'd sold something but sounded like a til opening the dr just said 'well that's a bit inappropriate isn't it talk about timing' 😂😂😂😂
I can't breathe!! 🤣🤣🤣
AgentOhDoSodOff · 22/05/2021 01:02

@Cocolapew

In labour with DD1 the Dr wanted to put a clip on her head as her heartbeat was dipping. He clipped his glove to her head as well, so was crouched at the business end trying to get his hand and glove out of my vadge. I said I felt like Sooty and laughed so hard at my own joke I farted in his face. I never saw him for the rest of my labour.
Oh my God this just finished me, laughing so hard I can’t read any more. Sooty 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
TiddyTidTwo · 22/05/2021 01:12

Easy. If ever you fart in these kind of situations you need to look to the door, straight faced and say "come in vicar!"

adeleh · 22/05/2021 01:16

I once had to go to the memorial service of a dear family friend. I too DS14. We got a bit lost on the way and my panic was heightened by DS doing the most evil-smelling farts known to man. We had to creep in slightly late and II had to sit on the pew in front of him because there wasn’t much room. And in the middle of Dear Lord and Father that godawful, evil smell filled the church. I turned round and looked at him. He tried to feign innocence, but the old lady next to him was actually rasping and gagging. And then, after the service, when we were talking to the vicar he did it yet again, and stared hard at me so everybody thought it was me. God onl6 knows what he had been eating. It wasthe stench of death.

UnFringed · 22/05/2021 01:19

I once ate a dodgy lasagne at a play place and got the dodgiest tummy on the drive home. Desperately parked up hoiking along car seat with baby and toddler by the hand to the house but didn’t quite make it. Cue me with the runs all down my leg up my steps as the neighbour popped out of her front door.

I can laugh about it now but died a little inside at the time!

Tubbs99 · 22/05/2021 01:26

Love these Grin. A few years ago, whilst I was in labour, I had the urge to poo. With panic in my voice, I told the midwife who reassured me that it was just the baby’s head crowning. That wasn’t the only thing crowning Blush. I was absolutely mortified, but she handled it like a pro, paper towel strategically placed with one hand and baby caught with the other