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Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
Chicchicchicchiclana · 29/04/2021 12:39

Having a bath together. Fuck off!

FreezerBird · 29/04/2021 12:39

@ForwardRanger

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.
I... I...

No, I've got nothing here. My God.

Sobloodyexhausted · 29/04/2021 12:39

Meals out on valentines night- just too much of a cliche plus the food is always over priced and crap.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 29/04/2021 12:39

A date (that I hadn’t ever slept with) told me early on during our third date that he’d brought tea lights and a quarter bottle of champagne “for later”. Just the thought of him candle shopping with sex in mind gave me the ick.

And ffs, if you’re going to make a romantic gesture, a whole bottle surely.

The sad quarter bottle was never opened, the candles were never lit. We didn’t have sex, or date again. But he then got offered a job where I worked so that was awkward for a while.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 29/04/2021 12:40

Ha ha! I posted without even reading any other comments on this thread.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 29/04/2021 12:40

LOL at quarter bottle of champagne!

0blio · 29/04/2021 12:41

My exh thought that petrol station flowers and a box of Ferrero rocher were romantic. I told him I'd rather he bought me a new spade but that wasn't an appropriate gift apparently.

He also loved buying me 'sexy' underwear but never minded taking it back (every time) because he 'enjoyed shopping for it' 🤮

goldielockdown2 · 29/04/2021 12:41

Aye obviously princess Diana since he was still shagging his ex
Omg 🤣

HelpMeh · 29/04/2021 12:41

Sharing a bath Angry

Sharing a shower, even worse Angry Angry

Sex in either of the above AngryAngryAngry

Yes to whoever said feathery touches - either touch me like a normal person or fuck off! I feel equally angry if I see a man doing it to another woman. I was once stuck in an airport queue watching some bloke feather-feather touching all over his girlfriends back. I wanted to slap his hand away on her behalf. Even thinking about it now gives me the rage.

user1471538283 · 29/04/2021 12:42

I am small but my bf is large. He can barely get in the bath alone so there is no room for me. In my rather limited experience, sharing a bath is just an excuse for the bloke to touch you up. I did in my youth share with candles and all that. But who can be arsed now?

Paris is the most dirty city I have ever visited. The food is okay but it isn't romantic.

I love flowers and it is so lovely to be bought some but having some delivered to work I just couldn't cope with. Especially if it's Valentine's Day. Anything on Valentine's really creeps me out. Being treated well on a daily basis with the odd bunch of flowers or bit of chocolate is far better.

Original poster
SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 12:42

ANYTHING done with the expectation that it’ll lead to them being granted access to your private parts it’s a massive, massive turn off.

OP posts:
Purplewithred · 29/04/2021 12:42

Agree sex in the shower - it's a downright health and safety nightmare. Especially if DH is 10" taller than you so you have to look up into his eyes adoringly and sexily and then drown. And soap up the fanjo is very bad for your intimate flora. Give me a good comfy bed and dim lighting any time.

Wellpark · 29/04/2021 12:43

What a great thread this is 😆

ForwardRanger · 29/04/2021 12:43

I had to look up sound bath... sounds a lot like something my last boyfriend took me too but it was a whole day thing. The first sesaion was a three hour gong meditation. I know. Except. Unbelievably I pretty much lay down and went into a magical trance, it honestly was amazing. I would never have booked something like this myself but I'm pretty open to trying stuff.
It was actually the best part of the day. I did break up with him v soon after mainly because of the hot yoga component, that was a bridge too far 🌉

Stinkywizzleteets · 29/04/2021 12:43

This creep used to meow and purr in my ear like a fucking cat. I am allergic to cats and can’t stand the smelly creatures. Despite telling him this he persisted. Our “relationship” lasted a whole evening. I’d just met him and I’ve never been so turned off so quickly before.

LouNatics · 29/04/2021 12:44

@justasking111

Sex in the shower unless you have multiple heads, no thanks, shared baths are for talking and relaxing, ditto a massage. Romantic dinners are lovely but let me sleep and snore afterwards.

OH does now and again bring me a bunch of flowers, daffodils in the spring, sweet william because they smell nice. That is thoughtful of him I like that. He knows I like flowers though I treat myself to a bunch now and again.

Multiple heads?

Multiple shower heads I assume Grin

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 29/04/2021 12:44

The sound gong reminds me of a floatation pool I was “treated to”. I said I didn’t want to do it but it was paid for so was strong armed into it.
First it takes eight people so it’s not a couple experience. You have to lie on your back and float around in salt water listening to twinkly music and having a floaty spiritual experience.
Except you keep crashing into either the side, or worse, random people which broke your relaxation and was embarrassing.
The twinkly music got on my nerves, and I have eczema so the salt water was excruciatingly painful. I lasted about 5 mins and it brought me out in a massive rash. Apparently I should have been more grateful!

BettysCardigan · 29/04/2021 12:44

I love the flute thing: what did he think that was going to add to the experience?!

CharityDingle · 29/04/2021 12:44

@Mycatismadeofstringcheese

A date (that I hadn’t ever slept with) told me early on during our third date that he’d brought tea lights and a quarter bottle of champagne “for later”. Just the thought of him candle shopping with sex in mind gave me the ick.

And ffs, if you’re going to make a romantic gesture, a whole bottle surely.

The sad quarter bottle was never opened, the candles were never lit. We didn’t have sex, or date again. But he then got offered a job where I worked so that was awkward for a while.

A quarter bottle, he really pushed the boat out Grin !
WhirlingGerbil · 29/04/2021 12:45

Jason Derulo and his "2 step to the bedroom".

Yes, Jason. We all know what to mean.

Tightwad. Could have at least taken the poor girl out for meal first.

makingmammaries · 29/04/2021 12:45

Anything involving fruit.

In Russia years ago there was a craze for massive apples, Chernobyl size, which were seen as a romantic gift and probably a shortcut to saliva mingling. I was once handed one on what I thought was a casual theatre trip by a guy I did not fancy at all, and had to eat the whole damn apple to avoid any expectations of sharing.

ForwardRanger · 29/04/2021 12:46

And I'm so pleased other people dislike receiving flowers! My heart sinks, all I can think is oh they'll wither and die and I'll have to clean them up. 😔

Amdone123 · 29/04/2021 12:46

I used to work in a school and every year 1 of the teaching assistants would get a massive bouquet on Valentine's Day, sent to school.

She used to look smug about it, but everyone else just thought it so pretentious. They lived together so why send them to a workplace?

I agree about the cups of tea. My OH brings me one most mornings ; it's so nice.

Pinkearedcow · 29/04/2021 12:47

@LaceyBetty

A new boyfriend in my twenties once said he wanted me to fall asleep in his arms so he could carry me up to bed and watch me sleep all night. Cringy and creepy.
Was his name Edward Cullen?!
lemmein · 29/04/2021 12:47

One of my ex's used to write poetry - very shit poetry.

I see he still does it and shares them on FB. He even signs them at the end and puts his middle name initial in the signature 🙈