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Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
Brainwave89 · 29/04/2021 12:27

feeding each other. I chose what I wanted to eat, I can feed myself thanks!

MedusasBadHairDay · 29/04/2021 12:28

Can I add dancing together? I don't mean in situations where both people can actually dance, that I imagine is quite enjoyable, but I had one ex whose dancing consisted of gyrating against me like a randy dog.

viques · 29/04/2021 12:28

@JaneJeffer

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds. Can't stop laughing at this Grin
Mind you, you have to admire the enterprise of someone who persuades other people to part with hard cash for this!
ProfessorPootle · 29/04/2021 12:28

I hate all ‘romantic’ stuff, like holding hands, poetry, any declarations of love. I’ve also had someone start playing their guitar to me, so awkward. I only like flowers if they arrange them artfully in a vase for me, too much work otherwise. Also hated mix tapes, had a bf at uni who made me about 50 of the bloody things with obviously all his dodgy taste in music, he even made me one after I dumped him.

24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed · 29/04/2021 12:30

Sex and/or making a baby. For so many reasons. Cannot be romantic.

GreenEyedMonsterMunch · 29/04/2021 12:30

@MedusasBadHairDay

Can I add dancing together? I don't mean in situations where both people can actually dance, that I imagine is quite enjoyable, but I had one ex whose dancing consisted of gyrating against me like a randy dog.
I wish we had a like button for all this comments.
GreenEyedMonsterMunch · 29/04/2021 12:30

*these

an edit button would help too.

Giantrooster · 29/04/2021 12:31

The restaurants with 'musicians' coming to the table.

I hate it, don't know where to look, don't know what to do, definitely not romantic.

Had this in a restaurant in France where they forced you to choose the song (they were embarrassingly persistent) we chose 'Yesterday' hoping they knew it. They sort of did with the thickest French accent (I'm not British) we nearly exploded trying not to laugh.

UnforgottenPunk · 29/04/2021 12:32

Red roses, in any form (petals or bouquets).

Tacky and cliched, IMO

ProfessorPootle · 29/04/2021 12:32

And no to all offers of a neck massage, you’re not good at it, it’s just a ruse to get your hands on a woman.

nonevernotever · 29/04/2021 12:33

Yes to all of these!

Luckily my DH is as unromantic as I am and concentrates on the important stuff like doing (more than )his share of the housework, and as alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 said upthread buying me random unusual cheeses when he passes the nice cheese shop. (I'm presuming we're not married to the same man....)

GenuineViolet · 29/04/2021 12:33

Chocolate body paint, also, why chocolate flavour? It just looks like you’ve smeared each other in shit

Can't imagine Strawberry would be any less startling.

Franklyfrost · 29/04/2021 12:34

Anything involving food making contact with skin.

BumCat · 29/04/2021 12:34

Yes! Sharing a bath.

Any bathroom activity, actually.

Shower sex- always a bad idea, but men don’t seem to agree until it’s happening...

notagainmummy · 29/04/2021 12:36

Dh draped over me in bed. Arm, shoulder and leg. I dreamt I was in a grave and being crushed by falling earth. Woke in terror to find his upper body was draped over my chest and I literally couldn't breathe. We now have a huge bed and he keeps to his side for the actual sleeping.

CharityDingle · 29/04/2021 12:36

@BettysCardigan

My friend's husband surprised her with a couples' trip to a sound bath?!

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds.

I'd have slid off the bean bag with laughter. Then swiftly divorced him.

I can't stop laughing at this!
BettysCardigan · 29/04/2021 12:36

@Jaxhog

Another one for sharing a bath and Paris. Ugh to both.

Disagree about the singing though. My DH once memorised the whole of American Pie (a favourite at the time) and sang it to me acapella. I was well impressed!

Fuck me, that's a long song!

I'd have spontaneously combusted by the second chorus.

justasking111 · 29/04/2021 12:36

Sex in the shower unless you have multiple heads, no thanks, shared baths are for talking and relaxing, ditto a massage. Romantic dinners are lovely but let me sleep and snore afterwards.

OH does now and again bring me a bunch of flowers, daffodils in the spring, sweet william because they smell nice. That is thoughtful of him I like that. He knows I like flowers though I treat myself to a bunch now and again.

MedusasBadHairDay · 29/04/2021 12:36

I had one ex who thought gazing into each others eyes was really romantic, so we'd be down the pub with friends and I'd be mid conversation with someone when his face would gradually loom into view as he tried to force eye contact.

It was weird.

pabloescobarselasticband · 29/04/2021 12:36

Oysters SadSadSad

Signoftimes · 29/04/2021 12:37

@Foodisascience

My ex used to sing Van Halen brown eyed girl to me and I used to love it, we used to dance about together while he sang was just fun though not some drippy serenade.
Think you meant Van Morrison! Would love to hear Van Haley singing it lol
Original poster
SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 12:37

A sound bath 😂😂😂 I would lose my shit. It would end up being romantic in the sense that DH and I would be all over the comedy aspect of it.

OP posts:
UnforgottenPunk · 29/04/2021 12:37

@MedusasBadHairDay

I had one ex who thought gazing into each others eyes was really romantic, so we'd be down the pub with friends and I'd be mid conversation with someone when his face would gradually loom into view as he tried to force eye contact.

It was weird.

I can see why they're now an ex Grin
PattyPan · 29/04/2021 12:37

My DP serenaded me to confess his love when we’d been going out for about 3 months, it was a bit awkward but sweet. We’ve been together for 5 years now so not a relationship killer Grin

I also disagree with kisses on the forehead, due to the height difference between DP and I he sometimes kisses me on the top of the head if we are cuddling standing up which is nice. However the height difference means I definitely agree with shower sex or any kind of standing up sex, way too much of a palaver to align your bits!

Wellpark · 29/04/2021 12:37

@ForwardRanger

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.
Forward ranger your story made me hoot!!! Playing a flippin flute while the wife gave birth 🤣🤣🤣 fantastic 😂😂
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