What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

Sex is the water.

Releasing doves, balloons or lanterns. Feel for the animals in all instances and I can't feel joy at that.

Ladygindiva that Titanic video those nipples!

When I was about 18 a guy I had been going out with for about 2 days serenaded me with a rendition of 'More Than Words' by Extreme. He didn't play the guitar so it was literally just him singing - it was excruciating. He also gave me, for Valentine's Day, a pencil topped with one of those 'Troll' things that were popular in the 80s (at least I think they were popular, with thought they were revolting) and a little chocolate in a box with those sickly 'Love is...' cartoon characters on them. Amazingly we went out for about 2 months after that, TBF I was on
the rebound from my first love and was not thinking clearly!

Rose petals or any floaty shit in the bath.... I just want me and my book. Nothing I have to pick out of my bits or my toenails.

Thanks for all these everyone!! Some proper corkers

Having food feed to me, slowly, piece by piece ...

erghhh! It’s so awkward! You always end up getting stabbed in the gums and then hangry because it’s been a long 30 mins and all you have consumed is 4 mouthfuls! Plus the long, slow, “stare deep into my soul” look they give you while feeding you, followed by the awkward giggle you make and the “yummmmmm” because you have no idea where to look or what to say!

I have a horrible feeling that Clintons are going to rush out a range of 'romantic' tea cups based on this thread.
I agree with all of these points apart from flowers, I love flowers.

@EvelynSalt

Extensive eye contact during sex, particularly missionary. In the films it looks romantic and passionate. In reality I end up trying to make banal conversation ("all good? What's up?" being common) because I feel weird just staring quietly at each other. Awkward!

'All good?' made me cry with laughter!

Every single one of the above.

Also opening the car door for me and ‘helping’ me out. Dude, if it’s a bucket seat shove my bum don’t hold my hand you’ll get a hernia and I’ll still be sitting here.

The shower thing is cringey, singing cringey, petals in bed - why???flowers nice but not romantic. When my ex dh would write love letters to me I’d write back with illustrations of our daughters poop.
Totally the most romantic thing is being offered a pot of tea not just a cup, oh and a lap tray, and my own bit of sofa with no one touching me 👍
This has been the funniest wheeze inducing thread I’ve ever see on here. Nice one SmidgenofaPidgeon

He then produced a ring sized box which I looked at with horror and said, 'you haven't have you?'. It was earings but that was the moment when I realised he wasnt for me!

I also had this except the boyfriend in question had put a diamond ring in a bag of Haribo Starmix ! I nervously asked "you're not, are you?" And he was like "God no!" But I think he would have done if I hadn't have said anything. Thank god I did!

Oh there are parts of Paris that are lovely there are parts that are grime. The sweet bridge with the locks Notre dame Paris by night is a little magical ✨

Breakfast in bed. Hurts my back, crumbs everywhere, usually spill something...no thanks

So many of the things mentioned here may have been romantic when they were original and spontaneous but most of them are now horrible cliches. What is the point of sprinkling rose petals at weddings - just a waste of lovely roses in my opinion. And then there's the soppy string quartets.

I'm not very keen on lovey dovey names: "sweetheart" "honey", etc, etc. or couples who feel it necessary to demonstrate their devotion to each other by blowing kisses.

I don't get the Paris thing either. I quite enjoyed our trip there but I don't understand why it is supposed to be the city of romance.

I always think those public proposals are presumptuous and tacky. Presumably the proposer is pretty sure his offer will be accepted -or that the "victim" will be too kind to refuse and cause humiliation.

OK I'm 58, more of a gran than a mum these days. I always used to think "romantic weekends away" were so not romantic when you had small children and were tired. I read somewhere about a woman who had a baby and her partner booked a night in a hotel. She was thinking "oh no, that means sex and I am so tired" but when she checked in the hotel it was just for her; bubble bath, bottle of wine, magazines, chocolates. Her partner was looking after the baby at home while she could chill out and just rest. I thought that was just lovely.

Horse riding together on a beach! Atop a skinny scabby horse being eaten alive by mosquitoes and over some rather dangerous looking rocks that the hooves keep slipping off! Terrifying is more like it never again!!

Sharing a bed.

And I’m annoyed at the fact that you can’t openly say you have separate bedrooms without everyone thinking your relationship is on the rocks!

Yes, Romney, that really was a romantic gesture! It showed he was truly thinking about her, not himself. Unless he saw it as an investment?

(Strikethrough fail, sigh)

@LaceyBetty

A new boyfriend in my twenties once said he wanted me to fall asleep in his arms so he could carry me up to bed and watch me sleep all night. Cringy and creepy.

Did he want a doll 😃

Sex in the shower - can't be done IMO

Shimmying up behind you when you're cooking and kissing you on the neck.

theleafandnotthetree The scenario you suggested in response to a previous post made me laugh so much. It could just visualise it in a film:

As an aside, I think in movies this sort of thing inevitably looks and feels not too awful because the soundtrack gives the cue to how you're supposed to feel about it. In reality in this kind of scenario, the only soundtrack is likely to be other people saying WTF, Bob in Number 5 mowing his lawn and a random child at the background announcing they've done a poo. Grim.

Gondola rides in Venice. Just no.

Being serenaded by a quartet. Ex hired one to surprise us at dinner which he thought was such a romantic gesture. I wanted to die of embarrassment, I didn't know where to look, people stared, it was awful. I dumped him the next day. Saw on facebook he pulled the same stunt with his next girlfriend but she loved it and splashed it all over her page.

French kissing