What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

@TheVamoosh

Sex that's completely focused on my experience and my pleasure. Like a full body massage followed by oral for hours. If I just wanted to relax and have an orgasm, I would just take a bath and masturbate.

This this this!

"I'm going to pleasure you for hours", oh please fuck off.

I had a ex who liked to sing to me. It was pitiful. I dumped him.

Gifts of sexy lingerie.

Oysters are the boogers of the sea.

@OhWifey

I'll third Paris. Don't get it at all

Yep Paris all the way! It is quite literally a shithole in many places. I actually am struggling to think of any redeeming features Not a patch on Rome.

cuddling or spooning after sex, pull my nightie down when you have finished and fuck off to your own side of the bed!!!

staged romantic events, meals, picnics, declarations of love, proposals just stop it we are not in a film

cant think why I'm single

Lol, I have just had my covid jab. I went with my Oh, we were waiting together in line, but when we got near the front, I said we could go separate, if it sped things up. My partner, said, it would have been romantic, if we went together. Really, I think he needs to work on his definition of romantic. 😜

Anything that's kind of forced, like Valentine's Day
Big OTT proposals.
Petnames (this might just be me as ex called me bunny and I hated it)

I’ve never understood the whole flower as a gift thing.

“Here let me express how much I care by giving you something that you can watch slowly die!”

Flowers. They die.

No sorry your wrong there it is ok for things to die....

I love flowers...

I love sharing a bath, feathery stroking, receiving flowers and Paris. I agree with excessively long sessions ‘for my pleasure’, like endlessly long oral sex. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan, but there’s a limit!

Leaving little notes laying around the house! My ex did it, but he'd usually write an essay on why he loved me, it just made me cringe, but I've never really been the romantic type.

Foot massage 🤢

@Zalto

I’d always thought the idea of a shower together was romantic and sexy.

Finally convinced DH when we were in a lovely hotel with a large shower with be off those lovely overhead, waterfall shower heads.

My husband is very literal. To him, showering is... well, showering.

I was all soapy-tit rubs, trying to be sexy, whereas he had his hand on my shoulder using me for balance as he got his washcloth in between his toes.
He also does this weird kind of knee-dip thing while he’s scrubbing his balls, serious look of concentration on his face.

And the waterfall shower head meant that, instead of sexy wet hair pulled back from my face, the water kid of hit me right on the head so my hair splayed out from the centre and I looked like the girl from The Grudge.

“ He also does this weird kind of knee-dip thing while he’s scrubbing his balls, serious look of concentration on his face.”

WHAAHAHAAAA

Many years ago someone took me on a date in a candlelit restaurant, leant over (possibly going for a kiss) and his beard caught fire.

Oh god. The smell of burnt beard must have absolutely killed any mood there was.

I know someone who set fire to her menu.

An ex and I went to Turkey. We went to the onsite Hamman Spa for the afternoonwhich was lovely. After he had booked a romantic jacuzzi with fruit & wine for 2.. I couldn't be bothered and just wanted to eat the fruit & drink gallons of water because I genuinely did have a headache

JaneJeffer for PM

Valentines day. Expensive food crammed at tables with other couples. Me and DH always used to go to a pub and watch football. Very quiet.

As a single male I wish to thank you all for explaining where I went wrong.
As a footnote I tried the waking her up with a surprise cup of tea and got yelled at. All she kept saying was
"Who the fuck are you and how did you get in my house!"

Holding hands and kissing in public like really NO THANKS

Picnics (wasps, hay fever, dodgy rainclouds - nah

I agree with this generally - not even from a romantic viewpoint.

Paris is ok but Rome is nicer. Actually I think a lot of places are romantic if you have the right company: Edinburgh or Vienna spring to mind.

Many years ago someone took me on a date in a candlelit restaurant, leant over (possibly going for a kiss) and his beard caught fire

I think (longer) beards in general are a passion killer - especially when they get food stuck in them. DH's nephew has one. I don't know how his partner kisses him. Bleugh.

Going out with someone you think is a friend and they think it’s a romantic date. The worst was with a work colleague who was a bit slimey, out in his convertible, me increasingly realising this was meant to be the most romantic drive on the planet and then a big bird pooped all over his head. I had to stop the tears falling down my face

Talking of superfluous sex, I remember reading this story about Puff Daddy having a 30-hour long sex session with his partner:

www.today.com/popculture/diddy-brags-hes-30-hour-man-wbna17521727

Apart from the fact that going on for that long is about as appealing as running a marathon wearing lead boots they had four month old twins at the time

I would have been begging him to finish off and let me sleep after the first 10 minutes.