What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

Drinking champagne is unlikely to be conducive to sexy times unless you and your partner find each other's burps sexy.

Toe sucking 😷

I hate forced romance. I much prefer the spontaneous little gestures of affection that demonstrate love. My BF brings me flowers because I love them, but he'll also bring me a multipack of chunky KitKats or a giant bag of Doritos, start my car in the morning and put the heated seat on so it's warm, and put the bin out because it's my Most Hated Job.

I also love the feathery stroking and adore a shoulder rub or foot rub, but can't bear public music and poetry. I cringe when the flower sellers come round in restaurants and would DIE if someone sang a song to me.

Nothing is more awkward than looking in to the eyes of someone who is playing a guitar and singing to you. I get the same feeling from looking a dog in the eyes when it’s doing a poo.

Ha ha ha!

sharing a bath.. sharing a shower! One of you gets freezing and you risk a broken rib

Haven't had time to rtft & it's probably been said already but ANY involvement of food during sex. Bleurgh🤮

Yeah I think 9½ weeks had a lot to answer for with the food thing...

@CounsellorTroi

Drinking champagne is unlikely to be conducive to sexy times unless you and your partner find each other's burps sexy.

I can speak on this with some authority - having a full reprise of a 3 course meal, eaten by someone else who selected foods that you actively didn't want…[needs an emoticon for beyond nauseating]

Getting sexy underwear as a gift. Always the wrong size - I'm thinking there's a reason they think I'm smaller than I am and that's because I have spent my life procuring flattering undies!

Thongs, just no. Can't get on with black as it just highlights how blindingly pale I am. And while lace bras are pretty, they do nothing to support my boobs that have kept two babies alive.. not to mention my Rolo sized nips.

We have had years of Valentines meals with a kid or kids in tow enjoying the special occasion as well.

I rather like it like that (had the kids late in life after several miscarriages, so deeply grateful that we had them at all)

I also wonder where our ideas of romance come from.

The dictionary definition is-

conducive to or characterized by the expression of love

In my marriage, that’s cups of tea in my favourite mug (and hand washing it if it’s in the dishwasher) from my husband, picking up snacks at the supermarket that we know the other would like, checking in on each other if one of us is working late and likely to be a bit stressed.

It’s kind of sad that romance is now marketed as some big expensive gesture.

Sharing a bath/shower, just no. Cuddle sleeping, I mean, seriously? Paris is the least romantic city in the world

@delilahbucket

Sharing a bath/shower, just no. Cuddle sleeping, I mean, seriously? Paris is the least romantic city in the world

I get your point about Paris but I think that may be overstating the case slightly. I mean, have you ever BEEN to Wolverhampton?!

@CounsellorTroi

Drinking champagne is unlikely to be conducive to sexy times unless you and your partner find each other's burps sexy.

@FrozenVag

For me releasing a video for our tenth wedding anniversary

Valentine's Day.

@delilahbucket

Sharing a bath/shower, just no. Cuddle sleeping, I mean, seriously? Paris is the least romantic city in the world

I agree on Paris.

However we almost exclusively bathe together (more practical) and we cuddle to sleep, I’ll report back in five years when him just breathing gets on my nerves.

Paris (urghhh!)
Venice (cramped, stinky, claustrophobic )
Picnics (wasps, hay fever, dodgy rainclouds - nah)
Public proposals (cringe)

Omg I am in hysterics at these. Someone I had been on a couple of dates with fancied himself as a bit of an artist and talked me into modelling for a portrait. I sat there for ages not daring to move an inch, half naked and freezing and trying desperately not to scratch myself while he gazed at me with smouldering intensity. Stupidly I hadn't thought to look at any of his work before I agreed. After many hours of discomfort and boredom imagine my delight when proudly showed me his masterpiece. It looked like that Mrs Mangel off Neighbours, only with cross-eyed tits.
Cheeky git offered to sell it to me after all that too.

Lovey-dovey staring. Cringeworthy.

@WWJWD

Omg I am in hysterics at these. Someone I had been on a couple of dates with fancied himself as a bit of an artist and talked me into modelling for a portrait. I sat there for ages not daring to move an inch, half naked and freezing and trying desperately not to scratch myself while he gazed at me with smouldering intensity. Stupidly I hadn't thought to look at any of his work before I agreed. After many hours of discomfort and boredom imagine my delight when proudly showed me his masterpiece. It looked like that Mrs Mangel off Neighbours, only with cross-eyed tits. Cheeky git offered to sell it to me after all that too.

Hilarious. Sorry if this link doesn't work or isn't allowed but this reminds me of this skit I was sent a while back which made me cry with laughter

God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. Oh my god! All the music bang in about how it's like to most amaaaaazing love song ever.

It's not.

It's a pathetic whine by a bloke I'd steer well clear of...talk about a wet weekend. Get a grip Brian.

Long stemmed roses airlifted from the Netherlands or Kenya: no scent, apart from that of the plastic they're wrapped in. Especially for Valentines Day. (A rose you've grown yourself, on the other hand

Holding hands across the table in a restaurant.
There is too much stuff on the table, it hurts my arm & it's super awkward when the waiting staff come over.

Rose petals!! Tidy that shit up!! It’s irritating that I’ve cleaned and they go and spread flower petals there thinking it’s romantic 😂

Honeymoon - and no I'm not with him any more