What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

Planned sunset watching can be a let down. But finding yourselves watching an unexpectedly glorious sunset is lovely.

My DH was at home one day while I was at work and found he’d made two cups of tea. I thought that was quite romantic when he told me!

I have a classic one but in my defence I was quite young (18). Was dating a guy a few years older than me and we went to lovely restaurants etc and he had an Alfa Romeo.

After one nice meal out he said he wanted to take me on a drive to Leatherhead which he did, it was where his old school was. So we drove down there in the pouring rain, (it wasn't that far but at the time I lived on the outskirts of London) and then once there he wanted me to get out of the car at Box Hill (nearby) in the pouring rain which I reluctantly did - it was 'romantic' to him - I was cold and wet and rushed back off to the car in my stilettos and 80's girl black mini dress and stockings

Yes to all of these. I love this thread.

I have to slightly disagree about mixtapes though. I had ones given to me where it was a copy of an album I didn't have bit with a couple of other songs taped on the end to make up the running time of the cassette. That was thoughtful and lovely without being cringe .

I must confess though to planning on running down the train platform to meet a boyfriend who was away at uni. It was the first time we'd seen each other in a few weeks and I was going to jump into his arms . I didn't though! I realised how utterly naff it would be! I'm usually very sane and unromantic!

@BettysCardigan

My friend's husband surprised her with a couples' trip to a sound bath?!

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds.

I'd have slid off the bean bag with laughter. Then swiftly divorced him.

‘why don’t we go up a hill and watch the sunset one morning as it will be so romantic’

It will also be impossible, as the sun sets in the evening. In the morning, it rises.

But, yes, don't make me wake up early to see the sunrise. That is NOT romantic, as I'll be cranky. Especially if it involves walking anywhere .

My husband has tried to be romantic a few times in our 20 years together. When we had been together a few years we had a trip to Paris. It was brilliant, actually very romantic and fun. One evening after a day of walking around, I was fully knackered and he suggested a night time trip up the Eiffel Tower. Nope! Too tired I said, let’s have dinner and a drink.
Well it turned out he was planning to propose up there and instead did it when we got back from dinner, mildly drunk, on our own in the hotel room. Which was the BEST place to propose to me as I would have cringed to death on the Eiffel Tower.
Mind you, I tried “sexy” once and decided it would be sexually alluring to hand him my pants that I had just taken off in a restaurant bathroom.
He looked down at the scrumpled pants in his hand with a look of absolute and utter horror as if I had just handed him a soiled handkerchief.
But he makes me a tea in bed every weekend and every morning if he’s up first, he washes my car without being asked, he tidies up and is a kind and good man, and that’s enough romance for me.

Reminds me of Valentine's Day when o was about 19, dating someone who was 28. He said he'd booked a hotel room for the night. He didn't drive so he directed me, to the nearest (and I mean it was 4 miles from home) holiday inn and it was a twin room. He then produced a ring sized box which I looked at with horror and said, 'you haven't have you?'. It was earings but that was the moment when I realised he wasnt for me!

Seems to a be right of passage for the lady of young couple to lovingly cook a steak meal for the boyfriend after spotting some steak on offer...... Invariably it always turns out to be braising steak or something equally tough and inedible.

I'd like to throw Florence into the mix, crowded streets and the river looked a beautiful shade of dysentery beige.

Getting hold of my hand while I’m trying to eat my dinner. Just let me get on with my beans on toast FFS!

My ex proposed to me on a packed beach in Italy.... I was 6 months pregnant and sweating profusely as it was a 20 minute hike down to this tiny bay.... I was ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED and just kept telling him to shut up and put it away!
In the end I got into the sea and swam to next cove and just died of shame.

Another old boyf took me to see Romeo and Juliet at the theatre and declared at some point he felt this way about me I just stared at him and laughed (I thought he was joking) and he started crying in a full theatre..... I went to the loo and waited in foyer for him

Last time we were in Paris we saw a restaurant bus driving around with people dining and sightseeing. Didn’t look very romantic to me, must have been dreadful going around corners. Give me dinner on a Bateau Mouche anytime!

In the end I got into the sea and swam to next cove and just died of shame.

Did you ever go back, or did you just keep swimming?!

But, yes, don't make me wake up early to see the sunrise. That is NOT romantic

I stayed up once at a festival to see the sunrise. I thought it would be lovely what with people drumming in the dawn, everyone together to herald the new day etc. etc. The reality was that, even though it was the height of summer, I nearly froze to death.

Sex in a hot-tub!

I'm a short arse so spent most of it trying to not be unbalanced by the jets - hot tubs really need seatbelts 🤔

I was all soapy-tit rubs, trying to be sexy, whereas he had his hand on my shoulder using me for balance as he got his washcloth in between his toes.

I can't cope! CLASSICS!

This thread has been hilarious reading but in all honesty, many of the things everyone seems to hate, I love

On our second date, DP warned me he was very tactile. I know many people would find the skin stroking/cuddling/handholding horrendous but I love it. There's a short time limit on spooning though, once I'm warm enough you can get off me!

We regularly share baths and showers (he willingly stands out in the cold) and he washes my hair better than I do.
In my defence 1) I always said it was my lottery winning dream to have someone else do my hair and give me a massage and 2) I have never fully recovered range of motion in my arm after a frozen shoulder.
There is no expectation of sex after a massage- or indeed any other time so I actually enjoy it.

He hides chocolate and notes in random places. Arranged a photographer to come round to take some photos of us on my birthday but roped my DCs/GCs in for a much treasured family portrait without me having a clue. And packed my coccyx cushion in his hand luggage when we went to Florida as he knew I'd need it.

His biggest crime is setting the 5am alarm for the same time as usual when he has a half hour later start or snoozing it, so that he can cuddle up with me before he gets up. No. I've been up half the night with insomnia, just get up and bugger off. I am not a morning person at as far as I'm concerned, 5am isn't ever going to be morning unless I have a flight to somewhere fabulous waiting.

@Sparrowfeeder

All of the above.

Sex when you’re TTC after several months - oh god, I’m ovulating, just chuck some sperm up me quickly so I can go to sleep
(vs the dreamy, eyes locked ‘let’s make a baby’ b*llocks).

Yup

He buys me flowers but the weirdly romantic thing he does is send them to my poor old mum who is so delighted. He does it quietly by himself every few weeks because she loves getting them and because he honours she’s my mum and I love him all the more for it.

That's just gorgeous! What a lovely thing to do.

@ForwardRanger

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.

Omg - I play the flute but bugger off when your trying to push a baby out!

This is hilarious.

@CarrieMoonbeams

I'm crying laughing at these!

Haven't RTFT yet, but wanted to share with my fellow serenade-haters something my friends organised for me on holiday years ago.

There was a band in the restaurant, and my friends told them that it was my birthday - it wasn't - and that my favourite song was "Save your love" by Renee and Renato - it definitely wasn't - and asked them to come over and sing it to me when we were eating, as a birthday surprise.

Bastards!! 🤣 🤣 🤣.

I sat there politely, smiling broadly, nodding along, clapping enthusiastically at the end, all the while kicking my friends under the table! Still makes me laugh to think about it all these years later.

Thank you so much! I heard this song on the radio months ago and loved it but I couldn't remember what it was called or who sung it. Made my day

@Bloodybridget

Dinner out on St Valentine's day. Especially if you're a same sex couple (shudders at memory)

Yes! Never celebrated Valentine’s Day since a cringe fest in an Italian restaurant in 1998

Next year you decide to stay in. What can go wrong with an M&S meal deal? DH's utter lack of cooking skills is what. He will burn literally anything or at least overcook it until it's rubbery plus he has to keep asking what to do every 6 seconds whilst you are 'relaxing' with a glass of cheap cava in a beaker because no-one can find the posh glasses. Extra points if DC refuse to stay in bed and keep coming down asking for a drink or having had a 'nightmare'. You end the night falling asleep in front of some shit TV having eaten half a box of supermarket chocs.

I hate Bloody Valentines.

We're alright with M&S deal or take-out but the rest rings bells - not finding of posh glasses kid getting up and constant questions about bloody food - with the addition of MIL or my Mum or both ringing in middle of meal and DH especially answering and them not getting off the phone so meal or film is interupted then thinking fuck it and end up watching shit TV.

We tried heading it off phoning before with mixed results only stopped when we had few years apart on the day - got phone calls hopefull not interrupting are we when they clearly wanted to -well no he's 200 miles away getting in from work and I've put kids to bed mopped floor and now will finish that OU essay.

Now the kids teen and pre teen - and they likely to be up wanting some of the takeout and to watch the movie which TBH I've usually enjoyed the family time. I supposed in furtue we could go out as youngest is now, this year old, enough to be left - but suspect we won't. Valentine day and romance just arn't connected in my head anymore.

Showering/bathing together - hideous

The use of food in the bedroom- messy and always requires new sheets!

Feeding each other - Anything more than a single ‘oh try this’ mouthful is gonna be a no from me.

Getting it on after a dinner out- Gassy and sluggish. I had the chocolate for dessert and need to sleep it off.

Staying up late for any reason- with children it’s just.not.worth.it

Sexy time on anything other than a bed - logistical nightmare and despite both being well under 40 always leaves us covered in bruises and limping for days.

Lingerie- I’m body confident and slim but I’ve also had kids and aren’t convinced half the stuff in Ann summers even flatters the models. I don’t feel sexy, DH hasn’t a clue how to remove it

Being carried- unless I’ve given you express permission to lift me PUT ME DOWN! (I’m a light woman and many men have though it romantic to literally sweep me off my feet )

Doomed poets. Pack it in and get a bloody proper job to support your family.

I don’t feel sexy, DH hasn’t a clue how to remove [lingerie] confused

To be fair, with arthritis in my hands, I've given up the unequal struggle of attempting to manage anything more complicated than, "It slips on, it slips off".

Being carried- unless I’ve given you express permission to lift me PUT ME DOWN! (I’m a light woman and many men have though it romantic to literally sweep me off my feet angry)

YY - the only time weighing @ 7 stones is handy is if your back goes/hamstring snaps and some perfectly delightful passing rugby players help you up out of the Underground (no lifts, nothing but stairs up from the platforms).