What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

@littleburn

Going out for a 'romantic meal' (back when we could). Does anyone feel like having sexy times on a full stomach?

Christ no. If we've been out for dinner and a few drinks DH knows that there won't be any sexy time. All that bouncing about...someone is bound to fart and that's definitely not romantic.

@CrazyTitsLiz

Shaving their first initial into your pubes. Especially for the first date.

Learnt that one the hard way.

OMG you are kidding?! Details, we need details!

I HATE the idea of a man proposing just as his girlfriend has accomplished something amazing like a marathon!! Totally takes away from it. My friend did the bike ride from lands end to John o’ groats, raising money as syed lost her dad to cancer and it was something he’d always wanted to do. She spent ages training and gearing up for it, and what does her boyfriend do at the halfway point?! Surprised her by travelling up there to fucking propose. So there’s a load of pics of her looking sweaty and knackered on a bike and him kneeling on the road holding out a ring and grinning like a loon. Twat.

They’re not actually married yet though,

@BettysCardigan

My friend's husband surprised her with a couples' trip to a sound bath?!

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds.

I'd have slid off the bean bag with laughter. Then swiftly divorced him.

It's been a long week but this had me snorting with glee. Thank you

calling the other half Babe !!! I hate it and when I hear someone does it proper makes me cringe !!

Walking you home. Actually a bit creepy and stalkery since then they'll know where you live.

@lubeybooby

the song 'don't wanna close my eyes' the aerosmith one

UGH

What an absolute simp. Just go to fucking sleep and stop being weird

Don't know if this makes it better for you but that song is about his baby daughter! Still a bloody stupid song, ALL I wanted to do when DS was a newborn was close my eyes and fall asleep

Fancy underwear. Takes ages to put on, very uncomfortable, makes me feel ridiculous, not sexy.

All the Kate and William stuff MSM is peddling just now. About how in love they are after 10 years, gazing into each others eyes etc. I'd have kicked his sorry arse out by now.

@IEat

Sitting opposite someone at the dinner table Brushing teeth together..,just why One in the bath the other person on the loo ... ew

At least you can see they're brushing, I had an ex who didn't (not envy)

Do you think the washing your hair thing comes from the film Out of Africa? Robert Redford washes Merck Streep's hair whilst on safari, beside a river in the fading sunlight, with jugs of water and quoting Coleridge.
Bloody marvellous film and soooo romantic.
However, DH isn't Robert Redford, and Centre Parcs isn't the Serengeti.
Dream on.....

I feel your pain OP. I had several young men in my teens/early 20s try to serenade me and it was epically cringe. The only one that was sexy was one who played the piano really well, just not ‘at’ me.

I have so many others because I’m ridiculously intolerant of anything OTT or attention seeking.

Public proposals—awful. Long, mushy social media posts professing things that you really should just keep between yourselves—awful. Trying too hard to make something romantic to the point where it’s cringeworthy—awful. Sleeping really close to or cuddling someone—awful but that’s because I just can’t fall asleep with someone touching me.

Underrated things that I think ARE romantic:
Doing housework without being asked.
Booking a lovely restaurant that I will like and surprising me with a dinner out.
Arranging absolutely everything and taking me for a weekend away.

Cuddling in bed- with my night sweats? No thank you!
As pp said doing practical things without being asked impresses me so much more than traditional romantic gestures.

Sharing a Bath is utterly minging.

@DinosaurDiana

Fingering by my first boyfriend when I was a teenager. It really did nothing for me.

I'm not sure that's ever been touted as Romantic

🤣

@Misshapencha0s

Fingers and toes are fucking mingin too. Who the fuck would want to suck someone’s toes. Gross. As for fingers. Men spend half their lives with their hands down their pants so no way am I licking one of them.

@ShirleyPhallus

Sharing a bath. Like sharing a bath with a baby hippo with my husband.

Oysters. Like swallowing semen.

An ex used to serenade me too. Nothing is more awkward than looking in to the eyes of someone who is playing a guitar and singing to you. I get the same feeling from looking a dog in the eyes when it’s doing a poo.

Have only read as far as this, so far, but christ that made me laugh! Thank you @ShirleyPhallus - I shall henceforth always think of my cheesy, guitar-strumming ex when my dog stares dolefully at me as she curls one out!

Sharing a shower. I do showers alone.

takingmytimeonmyride
I usually buy my own flowers, when they're reduced in Tesco, because I feel sorry for them

This is so sweet! You rescue the flowers!

@Cocolapew

My ex once decided to have sex by lifting me up onto him and walking across the room to put me on the window sill . He thought my clinging on to him was a sign of lust but if I was going out the third floor window I was making sure he'd be coming with me.

Roadhouse?

@Allergictoironing

Sex in front of an open fire. One side gets toasted, the other frozen, so you have to keep rotating like a kebab on a skewer to avoid this.

Also with the sex on the beach thing, sand gets everywhere

Oh the word 'kebab' made me lol like crazy!

Sharing a bath
Sharing a shower
Feeding each other
Rose petals
Sex on a beach
Public proposals

Whilst 'I Don't Want To Miss A Thing' was recorded by Aerosmith it was written by Diane Warren. It's not about Stephen Tyler's daughter.

In a restaurant sitting across a table holding hands It’s so awkward I don’t know where to look

Having my head/hair stroked - I’m not a dog

Flowers the worse a single rose - was so embarrassed I stuffed it in my bag

Sending me videos of his guitar playing - you are rubbish but I was too nice to tell you (but shared it with my friends)

All the above

That Police song "Every Breath You Take" Stalker alert

And agree about public proposals. No. No. No.