What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

My ex thought it would be romantic for me to take out his contact lenses for him. Eugh

@ShirleyPhallus
. I get the same feeling from looking a dog in the eyes when it’s doing a poo.

Defo!

@Lweji

Pass any Ferrero Roche this was please

OP was the song Secret Smile?

I preferred Closing Time.

Big proposals in front of people - coercive as fuck!

As an aside, I think in movies this sort of thing inevitably looks and feels not too awful because the soundtrack gives the cue to how you're supposed to feel about it. In reality in this kind of scenario, the only soundtrack is likely to be other people saying WTF, Bob in Number 5 mowing his lawn and a random child at the background announcing they've done a poo. Grim.

Yes, like in a movie coming home to find your living room chock full of flowers, in real life you'd be thinking wtf, how on earth am I going to find enough vases to put them in.

I've just laughed, groaned and nodded to the whole thread but surprised no one has said... nibbling and licking ears. Just. No.
So grim having a tongue poking your waxy earlobe.

" Tell me what you are thinking"
" I love you" after two dates

always made me run for the hills

Anyone approaching a couple anywhere at all with -
Flowers
A serenade
Music
A drawing
Anything at all.

Oh! i saw some really naff crime scene tape that said love scene on in a Valentines Day section at Asda once, thats next level naff,

Went out with this bloke, nice guy but I'd sort of put him in the friends zone. I did eventually end it but decided to keep contact, what's the harm, hey? Anyway, he had this thing where late in the evenings he'd send me songs from YouTube. It was quite fun I thought. Some were crushingly soppy and I'd comment 'lol' or a similar dismissive. A few months of this and then he declares his love for me! Hadn't met since splitting up so I was confused.
Apparently I should have 'listened to the lyrics' and he 'couldn't have made it more obvious'. ☺🤣

Last ex after, a couple of weeks together, would phone and say "are you missing me?"
No mate. I'm in Asda's frozen food section trying to choose something quick and simple for tea. Then I have to dash to school pick up, make the quick tea so we have time to get to cubs/ karate/ dance/ football.

Amazing how many people have the same thoughts! I agree with:

Paris (full of dog poo and rudeness).

Him washing my hair (I'd have to be very far gone demented to allow this. I broke my wrist really badly a few weeks ago and I have continued to wash it myself with one hand, even thoigh it is long and thick).

Sharing a bath, just no. (Well, I did once with an ex-lover but we were both young and thin, so it just about worked. Now it would just be ridiculous).

Sex on a beach, ugh. (on a boat can be good though, and pretty romantic moored in the right place).

Cuddling in bed (stay on your side for sleeping! And leave my pillows alone! ). An old friend once told me that he needed a visa to visit his girlfriend's side of the bed. Now that is a good idea.

Anything that is "supposed" to be romantic.

My first husband did write me a song and actually that WAS romantic, but I was young and excited and on a lot of substances , and he never looked at me while playing it, he was more focused on the recording equipment. He was a good songwriter too. If DH had to do this now I would be so embarassed.

@isthismylifenow

Speaking of the train, before we got married, I took a trip to see my nan and now ex dropped me off at the station. We had been dating maybe 6 months. I just assumed he would leave when the train did, but no. The train started moving and I was putting my bag up on the luggage rack and I looked out the window to see ex trotting alongside the train. I thought dear god no, I cant wave as everyone on the train will see me, so I pretended I didn't see him there. Then when I had put the bag up, the train was going faster and I looked out, and there he still was, but by this point was running at quite a solid pace, whilst waving and all red in the face. I did a little 'oh you're still there' type of wave and sat down as fast as I could. I have no idea when he stopped running.

The couples massage........ have a drink beforehand, in a hot sweaty hot pool area, can hardly breathe. Get into the floaty pool that is supposed to completely destress you, we ended up going around in circles floating for 30 mins, I was quite stressed as I couldn't float very well, the pillow was blown up too much and I was just getting a sore bloody neck. Then to the actual massage, where no one speaks which is just awkward when its time to turn over and you both just give each other a glance. Then the worst is, that they did an Indian head massage as well, so when I left, I looked like an oily scarecrow! We were supposed to go for dinner after that, but I said no thanks, I just want to go home get in the shower and wash my hair. I really thought the car ride home with going to be like a slip and slide on leather seats.

"Snuggling" on the sofa watchiing netflix or whatever. If I leaned on him I got a crick in my neck, I just want the whole sofa to myself thanks, as well as all of the blanket.

And what is it with balloons lately? Couple go for a meal then the poor woman has to walk around with these damn balloons getting out the restaurant and to the car. Have you ever tried keeping hold of a bunch of balloons in the wind whilst looking grateful....

That's brilliant! 🤣🤣🤣

I agree with so much on here.

‘Sexy’ underwear as a present - basically it is a present for him, and I see no point in dressing up in scratchy lace and a thong cheese-wiring my arse, just so he can take it off me, so we can have sex. Let’s just have the sex and skip all the scratchy underwear.

Spooning in bed - I do not like to be touched or breathed on when I am trying (and failing - I love insomnia) to fall asleep. Bugger off to your own side of the bed, and breath towards the wardrobe - otherwise I will cover your mouth and nose with the duvet.

We don't even acknowledge Valentines Day, what a load of nonsense.

Spooning in bed.. I don’t get it.. or cuddle... no thank you.

My exh proposed to be at a zoo, I sensed he was about to but there were lots of tourists around and I said just let's move on, then he asked me in a quieter part of the zoo, a zoo! I had no idea why he thought that would be romantic but later found out he copied the idea from watching a film.

I'm crying laughing at these!

Haven't RTFT yet, but wanted to share with my fellow serenade-haters something my friends organised for me on holiday years ago.

There was a band in the restaurant, and my friends told them that it was my birthday - it wasn't - and that my favourite song was "Save your love" by Renee and Renato - it definitely wasn't - and asked them to come over and sing it to me when we were eating, as a birthday surprise.

Bastards!! 🤣 🤣 🤣.

I sat there politely, smiling broadly, nodding along, clapping enthusiastically at the end, all the while kicking my friends under the table! Still makes me laugh to think about it all these years later.

I have never let anyone see me brushing my teeth since my mother when I was a child.

There isn't really anything romantic about spooning, but I love it as it's a free radiator (my house is always cold)

@CarmelBeach

OP was the song Secret Smile?

I preferred Closing Time.

Yes, it was closing time! They played it on Radio X this morning and then spookily they said for my name in London which is where I am and it freaked me right out 😂

The bloke in question would do Secret Smile next, and then whatever song I’d happened to have said I liked in passing. The nail in the coffin was when he threatened to write one for me and serenade me at the end of sixth form party.

Oh OP at least he went for the good song first! 😂

Serenading someone sounds pretty dire though. It's embarrassing enough when someone sings happy birthday.

Oh this has brought back a long hurried memory of when I first met my exh. We'd been together about a month, and he called me saying he was thinking of me and touching himself, and that I should do the same. Err no. It's 4pm and I'm making tea for my DC while helping DS with long multiplication. Also no at any time of day/night. Just no in general. Cringe.

I didn't find Paris romantic, hate bloody chocolate body stuff and dislike breakfast in bed - I like to be up and downstairs to eat.

The one I've been really disappointed in in posh romantic restraunt meals just two of us - don't know if it's us being plebs or us more generally but without a wider group or more down market chain/pub vibe never been enjoyable - and I like other people cooking.