to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

[dotdashdashdash]

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

[S111n20]

YANBU how cheeky of them !

[PoutineQueen]

Did they get huffy with you then?

[Greenpolkadot]

Why would anyone organise a barbecue when they don't even have one ??? Cheeky feckers

[AlwaysLatte]

Just say yes, of course - as long as they take the coaly thing in their car and return it, cleaned, afterwards.

[Howshouldibehave]

What did they say when you declined this morning, @dotdashdashdash?

[IdblowJonSnow]

SO cheeky!! Hope the cheeky tight gits have seen this thread, and better still, it makes the Daily Mail!!

[FireflyRainbow]

It sounds like you were only invited to a lunch bbq so you would being the actual bbq for the evening friends. How mad.

[FireflyRainbow]

Bring

[AlwaysLatte]

I disagree that you need to provide everything, arranging for someone to bring the salads, another a pudding, can work well in some circles. Asking for the bbq on the day is being unreasonable though! Could be fine if arranged in advance and both parties are happy, one having the bbq and the other having a better garden for example.
I usually provide everything but I think asking people to bring things is fine if you worded the invitation that way and made it clear the suggestion was for people to chip in. Not invite them and mention it afterwards. Even when I say just 'bring yourselves' I usually find that people still bring wine, and if they're really keen to bring a pudding for example I'm glad to let them.

[Standrewsschool]

That’s really cheeky,

[AfternoonToffee]

Where is this weather that is suitable for a BBQ? We woke up to a blanket of snow and it has continued on and off to snow all day. (No more laying though)

[PoutineQueen]

@AfternoonToffee

Where is this weather that is suitable for a BBQ? We woke up to a blanket of snow and it has continued on and off to snow all day. (No more laying though)

I went to a bbq today and it was snowing

We were all wrapped up and had the fire pit lit too.

[SpeakingFranglais]

was just going to say the same thing, the BBQ will be shit its blowing a blizzard here.

[dotdashdashdash]

@PoutineQueen

Did they get huffy with you then?

Yes. The kept asking what the big deal was and why it was such a hassle (whilst also saying getting their own charcoal from the shop 2 mins away was too much hassle). I did say that I thought it was a bit cheeky they wanted to use it for friends later and that the gas isn't exactly cheap and they said it wasn't like we were hard up (we aren't, but neither are they). When I questioned why they hadn't asked earlier she got all funny with me a made loads of excuses and I just got the feeling we were only being invited BECAUSE of the BBQ.

I think this is the nail in the coffin for the friendship really. We'd been questioning it pre covid to be honest, but when covid hit obviously we couldn't see them and just did zooms and stuff so lots of the problems went away.

[thebillyotea]

[quote arethereanyleftatall]@Howshouldibehave
2 journies? Whatever. If I wanted to go, and they were good friends and I was looking forward to it, I'd just sort it. I just think life is more fun if stuff like this doesn't bother you. [/quote]
😂

I love how there's always one

[Blankspace101]

I’m glad you stood your ground! I can’t believe anyone would do this.

[thebillyotea]

Now tempted to invite friends of mine who have a swimming pool.

They can sort out the transport easily...

[dotdashdashdash]

@AfternoonToffee

Where is this weather that is suitable for a BBQ? We woke up to a blanket of snow and it has continued on and off to snow all day. (No more laying though)

It has snowed on and off here today, but in between showers it has been gorgeous and the snow isn't settling. We had other friends round for a BBQ instead!

[MangosteenSoda]

My God, this is CF’ery of the highest order!

And the fact that they wanted you to do all the driving around with it too. I guess you were always going to be the first bbq of the day!

Sunny here, most of the day. Bloody cold though.

[Howshouldibehave]

The kept asking what the big deal was and why it was such a hassle (whilst also saying getting their own charcoal from the shop 2 mins away was too much hassle)

They sound a nightmare!

[DeltaFlyer]

@thebillyotea

Now tempted to invite friends of mine who have a swimming pool.

They can sort out the transport easily...

Brilliant

[Onairjunkie]

@EmbarrassingAdmissions

On a related matter, I've stopped attending celebrations for friends who:
host the event at their home but
instruct all the food and drink it to be provided by attendees;
tightly control the food and drink to be provided by attendees (must be gluten-free to coeliac standards, vegan, and sugar-free);
insist that only public transport must be used to attend (less than convenient if you're toting food/drink/other provisions).

They also insist that partyware (cloths, napkins) is provided by others and that if it disposable it must be recyclable (at something like 4-10x cost of usual items).

I have genuinely needed to bring along a portable oven before now as neither the oven nor grill works on their cooker and only 2 burners. I should also mention that the fridge is not particularly big so if you're travelling a distance (by public transport - see above) you can end up toting a large fridge box to keep any food chill chain intact.

WTF kind of people insist guests travel by public transport only?!?!

[Totallyfedup1979]

I was invited to a friends bbq once and declined to go, because all of my friends know that I have food OCD and will not eat at buffets or BBQ’s. I’ve been this way since I was a child, so no surprise to them.
They talked me into attending anyway and when I finally relented, asked me what meat products I’d bring off the list.

[RogueMNerKnowsNoShame]

I'd LOVE to know how they explained this to the other guests!

[icdtap]

Beyond cheeky.
If you'd been having a chat with friends on WhatsApp or zoom or whatever and start planning a BBQ and someone offers to host but says they don't have a BBQ and somebody else says they could bring one and someone else says they'll provide salads, whatever, then that's pretty normal.
But this is ridiculous. They invite people to a BBQ but don't have one and ask you last minute to provide one.. well that's a bit cheeky. Wouldn't have been so bad if they'd then offered to do the 50 minute round trip to pick it up to save you having to go twice because of the car seat problem.
But no... they have to go beyond cheeky and plan two BBQs (without a BBQ), inviting two lots of people around and then want your BBQ for a second BBQ to which you are not invited.
FUCKING HELL!!
Dump the fuckers.