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Original poster

to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

533 replies

dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 16:35

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

OP posts:
Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 18:22

@RogueMNerKnowsNoShame

I'd LOVE to know how they explained this to the other guests!
Unfortunately I don't know them well enough to ask.

I suspect we'll be painted as the bad guys though.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 11/04/2021 18:23

@arethereanyleftatall

Really surprised at the responses. This wouldn't have bothered me whatsoever. It doesn't really matter does it? Put the seats down, pop it in, off you go, and have a nice time.
Lol, are you the friend?
Bluntness100 · 11/04/2021 18:24

I suspect we'll be painted as the bad guys though

Well yeah, given this behaviour that’s likely to be true. But how do you say to people, sorry there’s no bbq, we don’t actually have one and our mates didn’t let us borrow theirs.,😂

Howshouldibehave · 11/04/2021 18:25

insist that only public transport must be used to attend

I have never had a host suggest this! Why would they? Why would anyone really care how you got to/from their house?

DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo · 11/04/2021 18:28

Blimey, OP, I think you may be right about being invited only to bring the BBQ.

What would have happened if you'd been having an great afternoon and not wanted to to head off early.... would they have wanted you out before the evening guests arrived?

Bluntness100 · 11/04/2021 18:30

@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo

Blimey, OP, I think you may be right about being invited only to bring the BBQ.

What would have happened if you'd been having an great afternoon and not wanted to to head off early.... would they have wanted you out before the evening guests arrived?

I was thinking that. At what stage would they need to ask you to leave because their real friends were coming, 😂
MrsDrudge · 11/04/2021 18:30

Very cheeky - especially as they refused your offer of the charcoal one because they couldnt be bothered to get the charcoal. AND they expect you to reconfigure your car to deliver and collect it! You sound better off without them and their huffy attitude.
We lent our new barbecue to neighbours - it came back with filthy grill, paint scratched and a wheel missing.

HavelockVetinari · 11/04/2021 18:33

@thebillyotea

Now tempted to invite friends of mine who have a swimming pool.

They can sort out the transport easily...

...aaaand @thebillyotea wins the thread! Grin
cleanasawhistle · 11/04/2021 18:35

Beyond cheeky.
But yes if it had all been planned in advance and they had offered to collect maybe a different matter.

Reminds me when my friend asked could she borrow a couple of tables so she could have a car boot sale (farmers market so have to take your own tables)
Then it was why dont you get some stuff together and have a car boot sale also.....beause the tables wouldnt fit in her car.

So we loaded up the van the night before ,she turns up with some boxes of her stuff because it wouldnt all fit in her car.

Next morning we turn up at car boot,set up the tables ,lay out her stuff.....and she turns up over an hour late.
So we got there at 6'30am to do her a favour but shes the one who had a lie in

Glittertwins · 11/04/2021 18:35

@RogueMNerKnowsNoShame

I'd LOVE to know how they explained this to the other guests!
Takeaway???? I'd love to be a fly on the fence to see them brazen it out but OP, you are as far from unreasonable as possible!!
MarshaBradyo · 11/04/2021 18:36

Crazy

icdtap · 11/04/2021 18:36

We lent our new barbecue to neighbours - it came back with filthy grill, paint scratched and a wheel missing

Yeah that'd be the next thing! Couple of people have too much to drink, get into a fight and end up falling on to the barbecue, burn their backsides, end up in hospital. BBQ's a write-off. Bonus visit by the police.

No joke... it happened in my village last summer.

NotSorry · 11/04/2021 18:36

I’d love to know who the 12 people are who voted YABU - the “hosts” and their guests maybe?

HerMammy · 11/04/2021 18:38

wait, back up
@EmbarrassingAdmissions
you have ‘friends’ who tell you to only use public transport to get to theirs???
why? why would you agree?

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 11/04/2021 18:38

@Howshouldibehave

insist that only public transport must be used to attend

I have never had a host suggest this! Why would they? Why would anyone really care how you got to/from their house?

Ostensibly, it's a carbon footprint concern that is always included.* In our case, it would involve public transport costs of >£60 (off-peak) irrespective of one of us having some mobility problems and adding to the journey time and complexity.

Between the journey, the restrictions on food and drink to be provided and toted on public transport etc. - it's simpler to decline the invitations.

*Irrespective of the regular recreational long-haul flights taken by the person involved in non-Covid times.

unchienandalusia · 11/04/2021 18:40

Wow.

Duggeehugs82 · 11/04/2021 18:41

When we first moved into our home we got invited to a bbq by a phone call in the morning and they then asked if we could host , it was work friend who was staying with friends and had invited some work friends they hadnt seen for while we all know each other, he obviously was being cheeky but we was happy to host as long as he provided his cooking skills and some food 😁

ThePearSquare · 11/04/2021 18:43

That is some outstanding CFery! I mean just go and buy a shitty disposable one if you’re that hard pressed getting hold of one, don’t ask your guests to bring it (and leave it for you to use again!)

ClarkeGriffin · 11/04/2021 18:44

@RogueMNerKnowsNoShame

I'd LOVE to know how they explained this to the other guests!
Me too Grin

Other friends will have turned up tonight expecting a bbq and find out they don't have one. That or these cfs asked the other friends to pick one up from b&q on the way over.

Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 18:47

What would have happened if you'd been having an great afternoon and not wanted to to head off early.... would they have wanted you out before the evening guests arrived?

I don't know!

Last weekend we double hosted, because of finally being able to see people, but we were upfront with the morning guest on invite - at no point did we hide it or make out anything other than what was planned. AND we always had a big gap so AM friends at 10, lunch 12.30 then they leave by 2.30, evening friends 6pm or later if they don't have kids.

OP posts:
HaveringWavering · 11/04/2021 18:49

This is hilarious! Why didn’t they just buy one? B&Q is open.

RedcurrantPuff · 11/04/2021 18:49

That’s really cheeky, I wouldn’t want to transport that my car is nice inside and I wouldn’t want a big bbq that’s been outside in it never mind anything else. I could maybe - maybe - get it if their own BBQ had broken but not otherwise. Tell them to buy some disposable ones

Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 18:52

@Duggeehugs82

When we first moved into our home we got invited to a bbq by a phone call in the morning and they then asked if we could host , it was work friend who was staying with friends and had invited some work friends they hadnt seen for while we all know each other, he obviously was being cheeky but we was happy to host as long as he provided his cooking skills and some food 😁
I've happily hosted other people's birthday parties in my home where they've invited guests I've never met. I've cooked, cleaned etc for it. I'm generally a very amiable person and happy to help.
OP posts:
ChillySunnyChilly · 11/04/2021 18:53

" it's not like you are hard up" is a giveaway to me. Very cheeky. Users.

Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 18:53

@HaveringWavering

This is hilarious! Why didn’t they just buy one? B&Q is open.
Tight fuckers is my guess. They are far from hard up.
OP posts: