Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

@Fluffycloudland77 @Graphista sorry, so slow to get through this thread (which I'm loving btw). Up until a couple of weeks ago she was dead set on becoming a veterinary nurse, but has now decided she wants to be a doctor. All cool, except that shes adamant that because I'm a public health consultant/GP I cannot possibly help her because she wants to work in a hospital.

Like I didn't start in a hospital. Like all doctors work in a hospital 🤦‍♀️

Random fact - Harry Enfield based Kevin the Teenager on Lily Allen and her brother Alfie, who were his teenage stepchildren at the time

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Random fact - Harry Enfield based Kevin the Teenager on Lily Allen and her brother Alfie, who were his teenage stepchildren at the time

Oh that's hilarious! Did not know that.

Ah @SecretSpAD how heartwarming. I think your bar is set at precisely the right level, some days it's the only level 😁

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Random fact - Harry Enfield based Kevin the Teenager on Lily Allen and her brother Alfie, who were his teenage stepchildren at the time

No. Way!?

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I’ve just gone up stairs singing happily.

‘ For God’s sake, shut up, I’m trying to sleep’

Sayeth the nocturnal child who is never asleep at this time

Most of my text messages to DD occur around 2am when I've got up to the loo and i can hear her cackling away to her friends on facetime. They are usually short yet to the point "QUIET DOWN NOW x" (the kiss is important 😉)

The rest of our text conversations are food related :

Her "what's for tea?"
Me "dunno" (she usually asks this just after breakfast)

Her "can you get me some sweets from shop pls"

Her "I'm hungry"

You'd think we lived in a Palace and not a little 3 bed semi! Speak to me in person ffs.

@SecretSpAD
Firstly, well done for what you're doing.
Secondly, you said messy twice. I feel your pain.

Greenhairthingy-we too live in a semi.

Mine is too lazy to even answer my texts. Unless she wants something....

Noooooo - la la la la I'm not listening - I'm pacing the floor waiting for DS to come back from Uni for Easter.

Can't wait to see him but DH have a sweepstake as to how long until the 'being home honeymoon' period lasts

Gem from Christmas holidays was him educating us all after a one hour Psychology taster session - the fact that I have a degree in the subject was apparently irrelevant

Durung the second lockdown my 14 year old dd hid her hair in hoods and towels for several days so that I couldn't see that she had cut her very long hair into a short pixie cut. Tbf it looked very good considering she did it herself but when I asked why she was hiding her hair she sighed very dramatically and said "I just didn't have the energy for confrontation". That did make me laugh as I told her that it was her hair and her decision and no one would see if it looked awful as we were in lockdown and it could always be sorted at hairdressers when they opened if she wasnt happy.

@Theimpossiblegirl it's one of my favourite words 😂

I tried to introduce DC to Kevin and Perry - the dining table sketch. After all of 15 seconds there was a great rolling of eyes and stomping/flouncing/slamming out. It's not remotely funny and I have no sense of humour, apparently. Too close to home, me thinks.

@MrsMackesy

I tried to introduce DC to Kevin and Perry - the dining table sketch. After all of 15 seconds there was a great rolling of eyes and stomping/flouncing/slamming out. It's not remotely funny and I have no sense of humour, apparently. Too close to home, me thinks.

I reckon you're absolutely right - they don't like the mirror it's holding up to their behaviour!

I showed it to DS1 when he was 11 and only just starting puberty - started with the first Kevin one, on his 13th birthday and then we watched the others.
So he's quite used to them now, and if he starts off on any of those dubious behaviours, he knows he'll get called "Kevin" (not his name, of course). I even gave him a home made "Happy Kevin Day!" card for his 13th birthday

He's only just 13 himself now though, so who knows how much longer he'll find it funny, and when he'll just start huffing and eyerolling at me!

My DD has just got out of bed .... she has been staring into the open fridge for about 10 minutes sighing. I’ve asked her to close the door as the temperature will rise ..... “I’m just LOOKING” ... eye roll, “Everything is soooo unhealthy”.

I’ve just unloaded my online delivery ... the fridge is full of salad, veg, chicken, eggs, soup. I’ve no idea what she expects to be in there but she’s annoyed that I’m laughing and refused to make her an omelette.

My dd yesterday declared our fridge was 'boring'.

This made me laugh this morning 

Oops- pic -

Yesterday DD had a huge strop about her lateral flow covid test, to be done today. We were discussing when to do them, as I was going to go for a run in the morning.
"I'm doing it, not you. Why do you think we did three at school? To teach us how to do it ourselves. You're always treating me like a small child. I can manage things, you know."

So this morning, as I put my headphones in, and reach for the front door...
"Mummy! I've been awake for ages, waiting for you to come and get me so you can do my test. Why are you going out without doing mine?"

Last week I got:
DD: You're shouting at me, stop shouting at me.

Me: I haven't even raised my voice, I've just asked you to do [something I can't even remember]

DD: You're shouting at me without shouting. It's not fair!

I got told l was ‘too irritating’ to help with her school Covid test. After a day of telling her to do it and being told ‘I’m too tiiiiiiirrrred’

Then she left it all over the kitchen table to ensure maximum exposure to everyone in the house😖

DS aged 15 told me that history was much harder than when i was at school-i asked how he worked that out as imo internet/Wikipedia etc means that they don’t even have to leave the house to research, whereas i had to go to library/hope books were available etc. He told me that so much has happened since i was at school, he has an extra 30 years of history to study

DS1 today - trying to boysplain iCloud stuff to me. He does like to boysplain.
Then later we had a highly painful interlude where DS2 was trying to write the word pterodactyl, but had spelled it wrong. I told him to look it up in his many dinosaur books, as he's the sort of kid who will ask you every time how to spell something rather than just learn it. So he asked DS1 who then said:
"Mum, how do you "think" pterodactyl should be spelled?"
I said I didn't need to "think" how it was spelled, as I know, thanks.
I then told him how it was spelled because he was looking it up on his tablet and he said "oh well done Mum, you got it right!"

Bloody cheek!

There's the door. Ta ta. Teens who would have them.

@trockodile

DS aged 15 told me that history was much harder than when i was at school-i asked how he worked that out as imo internet/Wikipedia etc means that they don’t even have to leave the house to research, whereas i had to go to library/hope books were available etc. He told me that so much has happened since i was at school, he has an extra 30 years of history to study

That is brilliant

"Extra 30 years of history to study" Excellent logic

You all will get your satisfying reward, and your DC will get their comeuppance when they themselves become parents. It's fabulous being a DGP and getting to spoil my DGC!!!! And I get to choose how I do the spoiling...I never go against any rules that DS and DDIL have made and obviously don't allow any dangerous behaviour. I've come up with my own ways to have fun with DGC...I do not allow DGC to take advantage of me in the least as I learned the unpleasantness this causes the first time around with my DC.
The other day DGC started to throw a proper strop...as DGC sunk down on knees getting ready to go flat and start banging the floor with hands and feet, I gave DGC "The Look" and the strop was over before it even started. Wish I'd done that when DC were toddlers..but, oh well, better late than never.

I found The Look worked from toddlerdom right up until recently but now it very rarely does.