Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

Old people snacks 😂😂😂

I must admit I differentiate myself between healthier and junk snacks (she says while munching on tunnocks teacakes) But that’s hilarious!

2tired2talk - hang in there, and check out the parenting teens board here, saved my sanity (and dds life possibly!) on occasion

@number3bigcupoftea - I’m ex cs too, it’s a huge organisation with alphas, betas and many more types of people and amazing opportunities for career advancement but hopefully she will realise this in the fullness of time

Dd and I are generally quite similar politically, though with the passion of youth she can be more extreme - she’s my wee consumer commie 😂 it’s more with her peers she eyerolls when one declares they “need” x brand of £200 trainers - she’ll eyeroll and declare “no you WANT them you don’t NEED them you’ve 20 other pairs of needlessly expensive trainers because you fall for the advertising every time!”

@Ihavebrillohair - try finding Easter treats for a child that can’t eat chocolate! Fun n games every year until recently, she’s now happy to receive cash/vouchers she uses for student supplies

Hormonally mine tends to the weepy side - which pisses her off as it’s not her usual expression and she feels it makes her look “weak” she especially hated it when in her last job as the job required calm assertiveness and for 5 days a month she’d be “it’s sooo hard not to cry with frustration when dealing with such utter numpties!”

@Anniesnap oh bless! That’s been mums experience with my sister sadly, I’m nc with sister for a number of reasons. One of them the tantrums/temper, a woman in her 40’s who still literally stamps her feet in the street and squeals because she didn’t get her way over which cafe we went to is frankly embarrassing! I mean wtf!

I know an adult tantrumer too, the family pander to it but not every generation is sympathetic and just sit there thinking wtf?. I literally wouldn’t dare do that in front of my dm as she’d give me the look.

To be honest just the very sound of me breathing is enough to tip my teenager over the edge!

It's the "I knooooowwwww" that drives me bonkers. 16yo dd has to take recycling out. Its her only job. Recycling basket gets full,
"dd the basket is full"
Her: I know

Later that day-basket is still full
Her: yeah I knnnnnoooooowww

Before bed-basket is now piled high
Her:I knnnnnooooooowwwww omg you are such awful parents strop

She went to 6th form today, lesson at 12. Did she think to eat before she left? Or take something for lunch? Nope. She txts me and asks if I'm still in town(went for essentials) I say I'm just leaving and I get "mmuuuuuummmm I'm hungry and broke"

Ffs ended up buying her subway even though she isn't broke but she wants to save her money for something else. I'm a doormat.

Oh this reminds me.
Dd started getting lots of piercings when she was 14/15.
I just went with it though I wasn't hugely happy at the time, I asked her to please not get the bullring one in her nose which she agreed to.
So its just before Christmas, the markets were on in our nearest city, I gave her some money to spend.
She came back with the bullring and I was furious, it was fine though, as she hadn't spent my £30, she'd spent her own

@harmonypuss - what makes you think we HAVEN’T done just as you have? Maybe even more so. I’m a disabled single mum too, dd had to help in some areas for us to run our home smoothly, but also I strongly believe in teaching life skills throughout childhood from a young age too. Chores, budgeting, wilderness and survival skills, emergency skills... probably from all the years I’ve been involved in the guiding/scouting organisations. Dd was a 5th generation guider in our family. Certainly by the time she was 16 she could have run a household herself, at 18 she moved out into her own place to be nearer work, she loved it. Her friends were leaving home around the same time, some for work, some for uni and we had some fun conversations around who was prepared and who wasn’t and the funny incidents that occurred as a result. She had a few moments of her own but nothing major. Just because we’re telling tales of when they aren’t quite middle age mature yet doesn’t mean they are ill prepared or that we aren’t super proud of them for meeting the challenges that come with the next stages of their development whatever they might be. What an odd response!

This is such a lovely thread, my DD is now 26, but I remember the teen years and I think I got away lightly, but some of the things she said or did makes me shudder.

We are very close and I am so proud of the woman she is. Hold on OP you and your daughter sound fab, you will look back and laugh

My terribley raised Dd managed to rent a flat with her Boyfriend and sort out her own guarantor a month after her 18th birthday, and between them have kept it clean and tidy, fed themselves and looked after 2 pets.
They are both studying and both doing very well.
Since I'm her only parent, and same with her Boyfriend we did something very right.

(I've run out of anecdotes for the time being!)

@doodleygirl

This is such a lovely thread, my DD is now 26, but I remember the teen years and I think I got away lightly, but some of the things she said or did makes me shudder.

We are very close and I am so proud of the woman she is. Hold on OP you and your daughter sound fab, you will look back and laugh

Thank you, that's really lovely x

I realised who you are earlier.
Funny, I was just thinking about you on Sunday as our erm Canadian friends were on the playlist Dd sorted out for me!

I kept meaning to message you off board to say "it's me!" and kept forgetting

I'm so dumb I only realised when you said the ages of your Ds and Dss
I love your Dd's poor weak noodle arms though!

Does it make it all the better now you "know" her? 😂😂

[quote Graphista]@AColdDuncanGoodhew so sorry but babies and toddlers are a BREEZE in comparison!

Toddler refuses to get dressed - dress em anyway

Toddler refuses to go out - lift em up and take em against their will

Toddler refuses to come home from play park etc - again just lift em!

Not possible to do that with a "child" that towers above you and could pin YOU down quite easily!

This is why you have to (as much as possible) teach them to respect and mind you when they're little. [/quote]
Surely this depends on what you find hardest though?

Mine are 5 and 8 and I didn’t really mind the toddler tantrums much - they were often amusing and I knew they’d be over shortly, and I knew it wasn’t me being unreasonable. But I did (and still do) find the most draining aspect of parenting is that they’re always there. And the having to do absolutely every simply thing for them.

For example, I’m a single mum and never away from them, if I go for a bath or to the loo I usually have one of them banging on the door within 30 seconds, and I can’t leave the youngest alone in a room for too long in case he does something stupid. I cant wait until I can leave them at home on their own just to nip out to the shops. My 8yo will play in her room for a bit but 5yo still needs constant supervision.

8yo DD is getting increasingly more independent, she makes her own breakfast and gets her own snacks now, but I’m otherwise always doing something for them and usually it’s simply because they could do it they just can’t reach that cupboard etc. By far my biggest struggle is I feel like I never have a minute of alone time, and if I do it’s usually disturbed because they can’t reach the fruit bowl for a banana.

So I am clinging with vain hope that I will find teenage years easier than these years 🥴

I mean, don’t they (in normal times) all just bugger off to their mates’ half the time anyway?

I took DS a warm croissant with butter and blackcurrant jam on and fresh orange juice into his lair this morning before school and quietly but warmly wished him Good Morning and Happy St Patrick's Day.

'With respect, that's so annoying, I've got a headache, do not speak.'

Mine are 5 and 8

Thanks @MrsMackesy that was, er, helpful

*I took DS a warm croissant with butter and blackcurrant jam on and fresh orange juice into his lair this morning before school and quietly but warmly wished him Good Morning and Happy St Patrick's Day.

'With respect, that's so annoying, I've got a headache, do not speak*

😂😂😂😂yep recognise this.

What I mean is, I find parenting much easier when they're not there I get intermittent breaks from them.

Do teenagers let you have lie-ins or do they come through at 5am and smack you in the face?

I teach teenagers and luckily mostly miss out in the tantrums I get 'yes me Patterson no mrs Patterson' surely all my lovely pupils are angels at home too?

@MrsMackesy

I took DS a warm croissant with butter and blackcurrant jam on and fresh orange juice into his lair this morning before school and quietly but warmly wished him Good Morning and Happy St Patrick's Day.

'With respect, that's so annoying, I've got a headache, do not speak.'

See I'd have said fine, chugged the orange juice down and eaten the lovely croissant, but I'm a bit of a dick

My younger teenager is nocturnal atm. He has to go back to school on the 6th april though 😮
He gets up at about 5pm.

but I'm a bit of a dick

This morning was one of my 'killing him with kindness' mornings.

I am also 'a dick', or so I am told, but there's no 'bit of' about it. Once I was Mama/Mummy and generally The Bees Knees. Don't wish away 5 and 8 @JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows - my pp was a lighthearted way of saying you are swimming in Kevin-infested waters on this thread and have not yet come over to The Dark Side of Teenageritis.

@MrsMackesy

but I'm a bit of a dick

This morning was one of my 'killing him with kindness' mornings.

I am also 'a dick', or so I am told, but there's no 'bit of' about it. Once I was Mama/Mummy and generally The Bees Knees. Don't wish away 5 and 8 @JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows - my pp was a lighthearted way of saying you are swimming in Kevin-infested waters on this thread and have not yet come over to The Dark Side of Teenageritis.

Maybe I should start looking at boarding school brochures for them now? I got rid of one miserable bastard in exH I CBA with 2 more

I'm sure I was an absolutely lovely teenager. Dare I ask my mum?

@GreenHairThingy
Her arms have always looked quite normal to me but I'm old so what would I know

Please please OP hide some bread at the back of the freezer (teenagers are incapable of getting to the back unless they think there is chocolate) then defrost overnight when it is a week out of date.