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Original poster

Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

575 replies

GreenHairThingy · 12/03/2021 14:10

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue Grin

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th) Confused

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 15/03/2021 12:24

Chat threads aren’t lost after 30 days anymore!

Only 30 day threads are.

So this won’t disappear. Still classics worthy though

idontlikealdi · 15/03/2021 12:26

I am genuinely scared. DTs were a breeze. Slept through the night from early on, barely cried, don't think either of them ever had an actual tantrum, didnt bolt or run off or anything like that.

10.5 and we are on the cusp of something horrendous. I think they've saved it all up to unleash in a tween frenzy. Today one of them had a strop because she was "too short limbed" to reach her glass on the table.

Answer for EVERYTHING.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/03/2021 12:28

ReportedGrin

I swear Dd would arrive at my house, (pre covid), with shopping bags to steal my old people food if she could.
Oh Childer, noooooGrin
Of course when she lived at home there was never anything to eat obviously.

Soubriquet · 15/03/2021 12:32

I’m actually worried about my dd being a tropical storm by the time she’s a teen

She’s nearly 8 and is already a brat at times.

“No dad you’re not funny ”
“Ugh yes, I did it already”
“Muuuuuuum my hairs a mess! Help!”

Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 15/03/2021 12:50

I've been on Mumsnet for 10 years under various names and I've never had such a response to a thread I've started Grin

Teenagers are a gold mine of anecdotes it would seem!

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 15/03/2021 13:33

@soubriquet
Just wait until it's, "my hairs a mess and it's all your fault", even though you haven't been anywhere near her or her hair!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/03/2021 13:50

Tbf, she'll be 20 this year, when she was 14 she'd likely punch me if I looked at her, or didn't look at her

This is so true!😂😂😂

WeavingWandering · 15/03/2021 14:26

.... wait... all I had to do was whinge about my noodle arms and my mother would have brought me a bread maker?!

Why did no one tell me this years ago?!

Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 15/03/2021 14:37

@WeavingWandering

.... wait... all I had to do was whinge about my noodle arms and my mother would have brought me a bread maker?!

Why did no one tell me this years ago?!

Yes that's one suggestion that I'll not be running with tbh! Grin
OP posts:
Beelzebubba · 15/03/2021 14:45

I hate to boast* but we got our brats to start doing their own washing, at around 10 years old (initially with supervision of course), and they're quite happy to cook an omelette or spaghetti etc. by themselves from 9 years old or so... As well as emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming... They have to be reminded to do it of course, and usually roll their eyes, but they are quite capable of dealing with a lot of things like that from a young age.

*no I don't

Beline4u · 15/03/2021 14:55

Honestly.... how did you survive til she was 17?! My son is 12 and I feel like I'm going insane. The attitude, THE EYE ROLL! The refusal to SHOWER! What the hack?!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/03/2021 15:06

We have 4 dc. 3 boys older than dd14.

When she was being particularly difficult the other day, l asked how come we’d had 3 more that were a breeze compared to her.

The little monster laughed. And laughed again and then said ‘I’m special!’😂

Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 15/03/2021 15:38

@Beelzebubba

I hate to boast* but we got our brats to start doing their own washing, at around 10 years old (initially with supervision of course), and they're quite happy to cook an omelette or spaghetti etc. by themselves from 9 years old or so... As well as emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming... They have to be reminded to do it of course, and usually roll their eyes, but they are quite capable of dealing with a lot of things like that from a young age.

*no I don't

I didn't put it into my OP as I didn't think it necessary, but I too made her do housework from a young age and she was able to make simple meals. She's an excellent baker.

Doesn't take away the fact that she's a) dramatic b) a lazy little sod and c) can be quite self centred 😉

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 15/03/2021 15:45

@Beline4u

Honestly.... how did you survive til she was 17?! My son is 12 and I feel like I'm going insane. The attitude, THE EYE ROLL! The refusal to SHOWER! What the hack?!
Honestly - I've drank more than my fair share of wine, 😁

DD is the opposite with personal hygiene and used to think that 2 showers and a bath per day was completely reasonable!

See also: the state of the bathroom floor when she's done showering etc.

Now this is where I came into my own and after my requests for her to clean up constantly fell on deaf ears, one day I had the ingenious plan that whatever she left on the bathroom floor (wet towels and crumpled up clothes, discarded snack packets - who even eats in the bath ffs!) I collected it all up in a bundle and threw the lot onto her bed - she was in bed. I told her that if I ever find anything of hers on the bathroom floor ever again, it will be chucked on her bed again.

It worked! Funny how she didn't appreciate sodden towels, dirty clothes and rubbish in her bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 15/03/2021 15:50

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

We have 4 dc. 3 boys older than dd14.

When she was being particularly difficult the other day, l asked how come we’d had 3 more that were a breeze compared to her.

The little monster laughed. And laughed again and then said ‘I’m special!’😂

I have a 15 year old stepson and an 8 year old son. (well, he's 8 very soon) They're an absolute dream in comparison. 15 yo is a lazy little sod and very disorganised but is a really lovely young lad. 8 yo has ASD, ADHD and showing signs of OCD and he's such hard work at times but he's kind, thoughtful, courteous, helpful. Any issues with him are because of things he can't control.

I do wonder if it's because they're second children, maybe us parents did something different that led them along a different attitude path benign neglect perhaps

OP posts:
Cushionsnotpillows · 15/03/2021 16:35

@Harmonypuss well that's all very nice but you've completely missed the entire point of the thread great boast though Hmm

TheBigBazookasOfBrendaBurgess · 15/03/2021 16:41

Muuuuuuum my hairs a mess! Help!

@Soubriquet

Don't worry. This will morph into "Muuuuuum, my hair's gone wrong and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT". When you (wisely) don't engage, "YOU DON'T CARE".

Closely followed by "All my friends' mums would pay for them to get it sorted out at Toni and Guy, but you're TOO MEAN TO DO THAT".

Topped off with a flounce.

Chimeraforce · 15/03/2021 16:41

My teen says "I KNOOOOWWWWW" to most things.
She calls jacket potato, beans, shepherd's pie, beans on toast "sad meals" 🤔
She'd happily live on curry, nuggies, pizza, KFC, maccies....
She'd happily not wash or get dressed for several days. Made my eyes water in lockdown.
Tells me off for singing whilst I knit. Apparently, her mate can hear me on facetime from her bedroom. Oh well. They cackle full volume so there you are.
I've told her from today no IT in her room after 8pm. Usually phone comes down overnight anyway... But it's been getting too late in lockdown. She's outraged.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/03/2021 16:45

Mine didn’t get washed for long lengths of time in lockdown.

Hair 3 weeks
Body 1 week.

Scruffbag. The smell😷

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/03/2021 17:10

What they can do and what they will do are very different things.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/03/2021 17:22

Mine told me that during her shift at work she helped an old lady join tinder on her phone. I was thinking how sweet, 70s/80s, possibly widowed getting back into the dating scene .... then she said “she was about your age mum” ... I’m 53 ShockShock

Confusedandshaken · 15/03/2021 17:35

My oldest wasn't too bad but even she could wind me up sometimes. One day when she was about 14 she came home from school and nothing would please her. Everything I said and did was wrong. We were winding each other up for a proper row when I suddenly remembered I was a grown-up and stopped engaging with the argument. I threw my hands into the air and asked (rhetorically) 'Why are you so lovely to other people and so horrible to me?' To my surprise she burst into tears and cried 'because you're my mum and you'll love me anyway'. And then we hugged and cried and laughed together.

My son who as the time was an uncomplicated 10 year old watched us like we were a very puzzling circus act.

Soontobe60 · 15/03/2021 17:46

If its any consolation my DDs were both absolute nightmares between the ages of 13 and 17. I would drive to work each morning in tears because of the way they spoke to me.
Now though they are the most caring, amazing daughters I could wish to have. They spoil me rotten and we have a great relationship.

Lupinhere37 · 15/03/2021 19:58

So my 17 yr old DD told me off for not having allowed her to have a hamster when she was little. Said everyone had hamsters apart from her and it was spiteful to deny her a pet hamster.
The reason we didn’t is because we had a badly behaved cat ( that she begged to be allowed to have from a rescue centre ) who used to break into the neighbourhood houses. One night he was responsible for a pet rodent massacre because yes, he was able to open cages. So that is why no pet hamsters were allowed but still she genuinely thinks it was nasty to not buy a pet rodent just for it to immediately face an almost certain death sentenceHmm

Harmonypuss · 15/03/2021 20:16

@Cushionsnotpillows ... no, I've not missed the point at all and I wasn't boasting either....
If you don't want children to grow into obnoxious stroppy teenagers, you have to start on them when they're very little .... hence my lovely, non-stroppy, helpful, loving, caring son.