Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

My daughter came back from uni after one term a vegan, which is fine, but then tried to convert us all. She delighted in telling her younger brother how his food was killed, ruining every mealtime. Apparently when I objected, I was being 'dramatic' Now shes 24 and eating chicken .......

"My nearly 13 year old gets annoyed every morning because I won't make him supermodels for breakfast,"

Glad to find out further down the thread that this was meant to be supernoodles, because I was laughing at the idea!!

I think this thread should be in classics (without the vibe-drain messages, of course).

I got told I was lazy because I told DD we were walking somewhere (3 min walk) rather than use the car “omg you’re so lazy you won’t even drive there” oooookkkkk then 🙄

Are you in your teens @Okbussitout ?

Oodles54😂😂😂😂that’s classic!

@Okbussitout no it's a lighthearted venting thread

Do not mistake that for our loving or respecting our children any less!

My dd is my best friend and she says the same.

We have been a 2 person family for most of her life, that hasn't been without its challenges by any means (especially as we are both disabled and both suffer from mh issues - different conditions, not to mention the discrimination and stigma that the disabled and mentally ill experience, precious little support network, surviving on benefits when I became unable to work, her fathers disinterest...)

We survived by loving, respecting and supporting each other and with healthy doses of humour (especially sarcasm and Micky taking), debate (even argument) and at times chaos.

How dare you attack the women on this thread and speak as if they don't love and respect their children!

My dd is one of the kindest, strongest, bravest, most supportive, intelligent and hard working women I know. She has overcome incredible obstacles to get to where she is right now and for that I am immensely proud of her - something I tell her DAILY!

I have had a lovely "in joke" Mother's Day card from her, gifts are not possible at the moment due to multiple health issues on my part, she also sent me a long and thoughtful message this morning around 6am before she started work, thanking me for always being there, helping her keep her sense of humour and supporting her in every way.

I hope if you have dc you have just as close, as fun, as stimulating and as rewarding a relationship with them as I have with her. I am grateful for it every single day, some days it's the only thing that keeps me alive! Literally!

@Oodles54

I got told I was lazy because I told DD we were walking somewhere (3 min walk) rather than use the car “omg you’re so lazy you won’t even drive there” oooookkkkk then 🙄

Actually I had the opposite to this as a teen

We lived a 5 min walk around the corner from the shop.

If my mum wanted something and no one else could go, she would drive!

I would call her lazy for driving the car round the fucking corner.

Being "rude" is a normal part of teen development. They are pushing boundaries as has been stated already and asserting and finding their independence, developing their sense of self.

My dd has been debating with me since she could talk! I am incredibly proud of her ability to think on her feet, come up with apt and often very funny responses, formulate disputing arguments and stand her ground.

Because it's a bloody hard world for women and she is going to need those skills her whole life!

The career she is hoping to go into also requires these skills.

@Okbussitout I'm genuinely from a toxic, dysfunctional and abusive family - in every way you can think of. If you think THIS is toxic you've led a charmed life!

Life isn't perfect, people aren't perfect, but the way to survive it is to be able to cope with the challenges thrown at you with humour and love.

Love and respect doesn't mean always agreeing and never finding another's behaviour ridiculous, irritating or completely bewildering.

okbussitout a teenager herslf maybe?
These last few days I have enjoyed reading this thread a lot, have been telling some of the stories to DH who also laughed.

I have one who HATES going in a car/bus/train she'd MUCH rather walk everywhere. Which is fine and well most of the time and healthy and environmentally friendly etc but sometimes there are time constraints and while waiting for a bus/train or taxi (I was unable to drive for several years due to meds we live semi rurally add in the disability and a taxi was sometimes necessary) I'd frequently hear "I coulda walked there by now!" (She was often wrong on timings plus I couldn't have walked wherever it was)

This was definitely at odds with her friends as they wanted chauffeured everywhere so often the other mums would be like "I wish mine would walk everywhere!" And dd got "its miles away" to which she'd respond something like "it's only 2/3/10 miles it's not that far!" And the friend would be like "er...no! I'm not walking that"

Especially as dd isn't even deterred by foul weather (she always had suitable gear inc waterproof trousers!) during the beast from the east we were COMPLETELY snowed in as in even the door to our block of flats couldn't physically be opened! She was climbing the walls, when it started to thaw, she was straight out there walking 4 miles to her favourite thinking spot! The friend she dragged along with her was not impressed but dd bought her forgiveness with a massive hot chocolate and piece of cake!

You know those Facebook memes of beautiful rural lodges "could you live here for £5m but no wifi" she's the one that always responds "yep! No problem!" - she's also something of an anachronistic Luddite, she has a smart phone and other tech but only uses it when she has to. She even writes her essays long hand "I can think better that way" and then copy types it.

If l ever say ‘record’ when referring to a song, l get pulled up pretty smartish.

‘Literally no one calls them records, they’re tunes. You’re just showing how old you are!’

It's not about doing the stuff for her it's about the snidey laughing at teens. Who are hormonally and socially all over the place. Clearly I'm the only one who thinks this though so keep being toxic and I'll go. Hope you all enjoy your toxic relationships with your teens

Actually, it's far more toxic for teenagers to be brought up by someone so utterly humourless and dour.

Oh Dd and food, I took to being sarcastic mainly to amuse myself.

"Are we really having salmon for dinner:"
No, I'm trying it out on the kitchen bench as a new ornament

"Is dinner ready"
Yep, I'm just not serving it as I'm enjoying the sound of your whining.

"Have you put dinner in the oven"
Well I thought I'd cook it in the wardrobe for a change.

"Will dinner be soon"
Yes, on the next full moon, when it's in Taurus.

I took her £50 worth of food today and she was so grateful and lovely, of course she doesn't live at home anymore...

She also talked to me twice on the phone to help me get the 15 junctions up the motorway as I've got terrible anxiety, bordering on agoraphobia, haven't been outside in 3 weeks and she had no idea I had anything for her.
They get better when they leave home!

Actually, it's far more toxic for teenagers to be brought up by someone so utterly humourless and dour.

Absolutely. It's all about the bantz.

Yep it is.

Dd is such a madam, but she makes me laugh and then when l laugh she laughs. It’s the banter that keeps you close when you’ve got teens

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Yep it is.

Dd is such a madam, but she makes me laugh and then when l laugh she laughs. It’s the banter that keeps you close when you’ve got teens

It really is. I came home from an emergency doctors appointment, to say I'd been put on indefinitely leave, because we'd broken the mbos.

DD very calmly says, 'on brand, checks out. Coffee?'

I laughed through my tears.

To be honest, given the brutal way they can speak to you, if you didn't try to find humour in it you'd run away screaming.

My 15 year old son told me off for continually letting the bread go out of date in the freezer

@Graphista

Being "rude" is a normal part of teen development. They are pushing boundaries as has been stated already and asserting and finding their independence, developing their sense of self.

My dd has been debating with me since she could talk! I am incredibly proud of her ability to think on her feet, come up with apt and often very funny responses, formulate disputing arguments and stand her ground.

Because it's a bloody hard world for women and she is going to need those skills her whole life!

The career she is hoping to go into also requires these skills.

Entirely agree. My feisty daughter drove to near-apoplexy but we are close and she really looks out for me. We have a lot of laughs.

Oh go and find another thread to piss all over.. We're all to busy being shite parents as it is without a random Internet stranger pulling us up on our crapness.

@Okbussitout

You did have them knowing they would be teenagers. I'm sure as adults none of you ever behave like twats?

I'm all honesty I think there's a huge lack of empathy here. No wonder so many adults don't have good relationships with their parents. As a teen you are forced to live under the control of parents who often have very different opinions and outlooks.

I know this thread is supposed to be lighthearted but it just seems like there's a lack of respect for them as people.

Totes. We're all just shit people and should be flogged.

DD wrote me the most beautiful message in my mother's day card, so she's forgiven for her wizened arms

Isn't it funny, how just as you're about to go Homer Simpson on your Teenaged Bart, they do something that just warms the cockles of your heart?!