Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

575 replies

GreenHairThingy · 12/03/2021 14:10

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue Grin

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th) Confused

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/03/2021 09:00

Well it appears no one else on the thread thinks like you. So why come and put such a downer on what was a very enjoyable thread. Why didn’t you just stay off it?

It wasn’t about opinions on how to bring up teens, it was about amusing teen behaviour.

Talk about pissing on someone’s parade.

Wolfcub · 14/03/2021 09:14

This week my teen has had a number of strops because he's been asked to clean his muddy school shoes. He could avoid getting them muddy by walking on the path rather than through the field. Apparently it's unreasonable to ask him to clean them because they will only get muddy tomorrow and will therefore need cleaning again. I am quite unreasonable to ask him, no one else makes their teen clean shoes and no one at school will care in they are filthy. I'm just doing it to make his life difficult and keep him from his Xbox apparently

Okbussitout · 14/03/2021 09:56

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Well it appears no one else on the thread thinks like you. So why come and put such a downer on what was a very enjoyable thread. Why didn’t you just stay off it?

It wasn’t about opinions on how to bring up teens, it was about amusing teen behaviour.

Talk about pissing on someone’s parade.

Oh sorry I didn't realise there was rule that you shouldn't post if you don't agree with everyone.

As I previously said just because everyone does it doesn't mean it's not toxic.

Vierty · 14/03/2021 10:01

Mine doesn’t want chicken again. She doesn’t know what she wants, she can’t make a suggestion she just knows she doesn’t want chicken because we have it every day (we don’t)

She also can’t have breakfast in the mornings because we don’t have branded cereal. If we had branded cereal she would have breakfast. There’s no point getting up if we don’t have branded cereal.

Oh and she can’t walk the dog because she did it last week and she certainly can’t feed him as she gave him food yesterday

Dagnabit · 14/03/2021 10:05

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion Grin Grin Grin

NoSquirrels · 14/03/2021 10:11

I just think this thread comes across as really sad and bitter. You are all desperate for children when they're cute babies but know they have thoughts themselves it's too much.

Did you even read the opening lines of the OP? You know, the ones where it says this thread is specifically inspired by the funny toddler tantrum threads? Are parents discussing their toddlers’ unreasonable strops also raising them in a toxic atmosphere?

How old are your DC (if you have them), Okbuss, out of interest?

NoSquirrels · 14/03/2021 10:14

@Vierty

Mine doesn’t want chicken again. She doesn’t know what she wants, she can’t make a suggestion she just knows she doesn’t want chicken because we have it every day (we don’t)

She also can’t have breakfast in the mornings because we don’t have branded cereal. If we had branded cereal she would have breakfast. There’s no point getting up if we don’t have branded cereal.

Oh and she can’t walk the dog because she did it last week and she certainly can’t feed him as she gave him food yesterday

So familiar! The agony of repeated tasks that must happen every day. It’s the unbearable tragedy of everyday life. Poor lambs. Our animals might starve if I didn’t feed them because no one else thinks it strictly necessary, more of an occasional favour to them...
TopBitchoftheWitches · 14/03/2021 10:17

@JanFebAnyMonth

Oh my goodness yes:

"I hate going out with you Mum!"
"Er.... (bravely) why?"
"Because you talk to people!"

Loved the PP's summing up of our collective dilemma

I should be schrodinger's mother- simultaneously responsible for everything he needs/wants and also not involved at all.

My 17 yr old daughter said to me in Lidl (of all places) to stop having friends.....I said hello to the security man.
LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 14/03/2021 10:21

My dc are 13 and 18 years old, they like to take ignoring me in shifts until they need a lift somewhere. Apparently I should only need 5 mins notice to get them a 20 minute drive awayHmm

PussyCatEatingEasterEggs · 14/03/2021 10:23

@Vierty

Mine doesn’t want chicken again. She doesn’t know what she wants, she can’t make a suggestion she just knows she doesn’t want chicken because we have it every day (we don’t)

She also can’t have breakfast in the mornings because we don’t have branded cereal. If we had branded cereal she would have breakfast. There’s no point getting up if we don’t have branded cereal.

Oh and she can’t walk the dog because she did it last week and she certainly can’t feed him as she gave him food yesterday

You can't possibly do her laundry as you did it last week.😉

You can't possibly cook for her as she won't eat chicken, so she'll have to work out how to use the toaster.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 14/03/2021 10:37

You're absolutely right Okbussitout...I clearly had no respect for my DD otherwise I would have immediately stopped what I was doing to save her from having to walk such a long way (8 ft is practically a world record distance and so exhausting). Anyway it turned out to be good practice for when she had to walk twice the length from her room to the kitchen when she was in halls, so I did her a favour really.

mbosnz · 14/03/2021 10:41

I very much love and respect my teens, and their moments of less than perfect behaviour are understandable, in context. Just as mine are.

And I laugh at my moments of madness as I do theirs, and often with them, as much as at them, when we get past the moment.

I've got another one. DD came to me, and said, 'I've got my period'.

I said, 'yes dear, I know.'

'How could you know?'

'Because you've been acting like I'm something you've tracked in on your shoe for the last two days'. . .

And then we cracked up laughing, as she realised I had her bang to rights.

(She's also trying to rein in the daughterly hormonal period of contempt to her credit Grin ).

And I know damned well they bitch about me to their mates - as I did about my Mum, and my Mum would have a good moan about me, as I sometimes will about them!)

peak2021 · 14/03/2021 10:45

Shouldn't this have been renamed the snowflake thread?

Okbussitout · 14/03/2021 10:55

@trappedsincesundaymorn

You're absolutely right Okbussitout...I clearly had no respect for my DD otherwise I would have immediately stopped what I was doing to save her from having to walk such a long way (8 ft is practically a world record distance and so exhausting). Anyway it turned out to be good practice for when she had to walk twice the length from her room to the kitchen when she was in halls, so I did her a favour really.
It's not about doing the stuff for her it's about the snidey laughing at teens. Who are hormonally and socially all over the place. Clearly I'm the only one who thinks this though so keep being toxic and I'll go. Hope you all enjoy your toxic relationships with your teens.
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/03/2021 11:03

They laugh with you though. When they’ve realised what they’re like.

Bet it’s a barrel of laughs at your place eh?

JackieTheFart · 14/03/2021 11:03

@Okbussitout interested to hear how you would deal with the situation in the OP?

bendmeoverbackwards · 14/03/2021 11:15

[quote JackieTheFart]**@Okbussitout interested to hear how you would deal with the situation in the OP?[/quote]
Yes I’m wondering the same.

@Okbussitout if someone did have a toxic relationship with their teen I doubt they would be posting on this thread.

I have 3 teen dds - 19, 18 and 14. It can be bloody difficult at times. But I have a great relationship with all 3. I can totally understand each post on here because teens can be bloody hard work. It all comes good eventually but in the meantime parents need to vent.

You have really got the wrong end of the stick.

Whythesadface · 14/03/2021 11:24

I knew she wanted something.
Would I take her to the supermarket, as her friend was going and they wanted to chat outside.
This morning, I haven't got a card as the only one she saw was one from a niece!!!
I can have an open bag of giant skittles and a pack of coconut macaroons she brought on Amazon that arrived yesterday.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 14/03/2021 11:37

Okbussitout

It's fine, they get their own back when you hit menopause....my daughter laughs herself stupid at some of the things I've said and done over the last couple of years. She has also told me to "remember who is going to choose the care-home".

Karwomannghia · 14/03/2021 11:38

Dh and I have Gousto meals and feed the teens bland carby cheesey stuff as that’s what they tend to eat most and ds 16 keeps saying he wants more interesting things not the usual things we give him. So we offer him to have some of ours but for some reason he always declines! It’s like he wants to have more interesting food but he isnt sure what it is yet. Dd 14 also says we always have this to something she’d said oooh I love this before so I think I’m safe. Every week I ask for food requests and they say they don’t mind..

mineofuselessinformation · 14/03/2021 11:38

@Okbussitout, just in case you haven't worked it out yet, this thread is about recognising that sometimes the only way to cope with teenagers is to laugh.
It doesn't sound like you have teens (or any dcs?)
Perhaps you're projecting your own childhood here - in which case I'm sorry for you. Thanks

mbosnz · 14/03/2021 12:11

LOL, I'm about to go through menopause, these poor kids! And my poor husband. Raging hormoans all over the place. . .

I'm pretty comfortable that our relationship is not toxic. I've had the most wonderful mother's day, with beautiful, beautiful cards that had me crying, lovely thoughtful gifts, and youngest in the kitchen making a sponge for a trifle.

They can wind me up 0-60, as I can them, and I would lay down my life for them in an instant. We can criticise each other, have a fine old ding dong, but God help anyone that attacks any of us, because we have each others backs in an instant. We've been through so much together, we know how much we matter to each other.

moanieleminx · 14/03/2021 12:14

@mbosnz

LOL, I'm about to go through menopause, these poor kids! And my poor husband. Raging hormoans all over the place. . .

I'm pretty comfortable that our relationship is not toxic. I've had the most wonderful mother's day, with beautiful, beautiful cards that had me crying, lovely thoughtful gifts, and youngest in the kitchen making a sponge for a trifle.

They can wind me up 0-60, as I can them, and I would lay down my life for them in an instant. We can criticise each other, have a fine old ding dong, but God help anyone that attacks any of us, because we have each others backs in an instant. We've been through so much together, we know how much we matter to each other.

Oh me too!! And I am have 4DC very close together... my (usually stable and happy) home is going to be very hormone filled!

I might go out and buy DH a big shed with a wine fridge just so he can go and hide out...

mbosnz · 14/03/2021 12:42

Better yet, go out and buy you a big shed with a wine fridge, so you can hide out. It would be a noble gesture on your part, removing your hormonal part of the mix Grin

strudsespark · 14/03/2021 12:50

Okbussitout I'm perfectly happy and light thanks I can just recognise toxic behaviour when I see it. Just because everyone moans about their teens and has no respect for them doesn't make it any less toxic.

Things is the amount of 'toxic behavior and abuse' parents of teens put up with is way beyond what they would accept from a friend or partner. Because we love them.

I think you have it the wrong way round re abuse etc. but if this is your experience I'm sorry for you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread