Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

@mbosnz

Not the psychology A level! I share your pain. Really. Truly and deeply. Much biting of the tongue.

Oh shit, one of mine is starting a Psychology A level in September

^^**StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes

Mine went to uni.... then came back, he is lovely to be fair BUT knows. Every. Fucking. Thing 🤨 and does enjoy sharing this wisdom, he is also a spoony fucker grrr**^^

^ this!!

I was another know-it-all uni student. To be fair, I'd been exposed to an alternative narrative of indigenous history and rights that Dad found deeply offensive, and he was extremely pissed off that I wouldn't just parrot his views and teachings anymore. When I refused to be called his little friend when arguing robustly discussing these issues, and then said that I wasn't prepared to discuss this any more with him, it got quite icy. But we didn't discuss it anymore, and by dint of not mentioning the war, we managed to still have a pretty damned good relationship. RIP Poppa.

And you (and she) will be amazed at how much smarter you've gotten in the last few years.

She is studying the same subject as I did. She's just started second semester and of course knows far more about it than me! Despite the fact I've of course already graduated and continued to read and research on the subject in the intervening almost 20 years!

I've unfortunately ended up with one who is both stubborn AND tantrums! Admittedly the stubborn is from my end! The tantrums are her bloody father! (My ex, overgrown toddler if ever there was one still is - he's nearly 50!)

firmly believes that God gave her heels so she could dig them in . . .

Unfortunately I can relate!

My own mother says of the "would you rather be happy or be right" "graphista is utterly miserable if she isn't absolutely 100% certain she's right and has proved it!"

@AColdDuncanGoodhew so sorry but babies and toddlers are a BREEZE in comparison!

Toddler refuses to get dressed - dress em anyway

Toddler refuses to go out - lift em up and take em against their will

Toddler refuses to come home from play park etc - again just lift em!

Not possible to do that with a "child" that towers above you and could pin YOU down quite easily!

This is why you have to (as much as possible) teach them to respect and mind you when they're little.

Love these!

After asking DD (14) to pick her clothes up from the bathroom floor numerous times, she told me she had. Into the bathroom I go for my shower - the clothes are (unsurprisingly) still in the floor. I ask for them to be removed again. At this point I’m accused of taking the clothes out of the clothes bin and putting them in the floor just so I could upset DD. She then spent 45 min stomping around maintaining that I was the most horrendous person for moving her clothes from the bin. As if!

Love these!

After asking DD (14) to pick her clothes up from the bathroom floor numerous times, she told me she had. Into the bathroom I go for my shower - the clothes are (unsurprisingly) still in the floor. I ask for them to be removed again. At this point I’m accused of taking the clothes out of the clothes bin and putting them in the floor just so I could upset DD. She then spent 45 min stomping around maintaining that I was the most horrendous person for moving her clothes from the bin. As if!

Food dates - drove me nuts, she wouldn't even eat stuff on the date on the packet! Definitely not after that date! Explained best before vs use by MANY times to no avail. I resorted to removing/obscuring as many as possible as soon as shop was delivered!

@raincamepouringdown making an 11 year old do laundry? Akin to child Labour on some parts of mn from my experience!

My parents are each the eldests in their families, mums one of 6 dad 1 of 5, they were both practically running their households by the age of 10 including childcare of the younger siblings. The 2 youngests are the same age and closer in age to me (I'm the eldest of the next generation both sides) their relationship to their eldest sibling is more akin to that of parent than sibling. Kids these days really don't know they're born!

When I told dd I started working (part time) at 13 she was horrified!

She did start working part time herself at 15 following a "discussion" about the fact I simply couldn't afford to fund endless takeaways, days out, transport at weekends etc on a disabled single mums income!

Did her the world of good except she became a bit of a "know it all" in reference to her more privileged friends who had well off parents and who didn't need to and weren't expected to work.

I think it's good for teens to work

Clothes shopping was a trial here too but mainly not dds fault but because it was soooo hard to find things that fit her! Even basics! Due to her disability she is very tall and very slim (school trousers were a particular problem!) and has elongated limbs and long but slim feet plus has to wear various orthotics. But yes add in the teen need to fit in - Murder! Many many tears were shed over the years. She still has problems but we've learned what things to look out for (which cuts are most easily altered, which buttons work best etc)

But it brings to mind shopping trips with my own mother, who was...different...as a parent to say the least!

I was also rake thin at this point but also short. I was also painfully shy! Mum would try and get me to buy and wear skimpy/revealing clothes, mini skirts and the like "cos I would if I had your figure" these items were not fashionable at this time (ankle length skirts were the big thing) and I was far too shy to wear anything like that. I tended to wear "androgynous" clothing - baggy 30's style trousers, brogues, men's shirts, novelty ties (yes I owned a piano tie and treble clef braces at one point it was the 80's).

My main difficulty with dds generation is I cannot identify the different "tribes" they all seem to look the same! Same hair style and colour, same clothes, same shoes he'll even the same (boring) make up! What's that about?

I loved that all the different tribes that were around in the 80's had very different looks. Even dd herself says the films and music of her generation are rubbish!

@peaceanddove my mum once dashed out on an "emergency" trip to fetch my sister who'd messed her own transport arrangements up. It was middle of the night basically and so mum not only didn't bother to get dressed wearing pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers "cos I'm not getting out the car" but she also still had her rollers in! Car broke down! Poor mum having to explain that. But sister being collected in a marked police car with mum in that attire in the back meant sister made damn sure she covered her transport after that!

@trappedsincesundaymorn my dd once uttered the "I have to do EVERYTHING around here" words - I posted that clip of Kevin the teenager on her Facebook! She took it in good humour (as I knew she would) and she and her friends had great fun "discovering" Harry Enfield and Kevin the teenager clips. About 18 months later one friends brother turned 13 and it was very much like an instant transformation, he'd been the sweetest lad prior, his sister posted Kevin's transformation on his Facebook

I'm fucked, aren't I?! yep

@mineofuselessinformation

'I'm getting whiplash nodding along to these'.... My finest moment was when I informed my dcs that people only ever had children so that they became unpaid servants (I had had the cheek to tell them they needed to do some chores). The outrage was on a level to out do the London New Year firework display.

Oh that reminds me, I said similar to my youngest who was about 6 at the time. I didn't really understand he was ASD at the time (realised there were signs but I wasn't sure what they were pointing to). One of his traits is that everything is literal, he doesn't understand common sayings or jokes.

So me telling him that the main reason I had children was to have them do all the jobs that I didn't want to do, just like my own free servant - well....!

He's now almost 8 and STILL recounts to anyone who'll listen about me using him as a servant. Doesn't matter how many times I try to explain the sarcasm/joke, he is convinced that I was serious! We learned pretty quickly to be literal and never use sarcasm in his presence 😂

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion - I’m dying to know if supermodel was an auto-correct or if that’s what your ds actually wanted....?

@GreenHairThingy 👍🏻

@Dagnabit 🤣 oops, it was super noodles.

@mbosnz

Not the psychology A level! I share your pain. Really. Truly and deeply. Much biting of the tongue.

God yes!

Mine is now doing a psychology degree at uni 😱

No no no I refuse to believe you all! I have two girls aged five and two. I thought they'd stop the tantrumming (tbf the five year old has) and then it'd be into calmer waters

Mine have had their moments, DD1 was an absolute horror around 15/16, but they’re both brilliant, funny, loving, kind, chatty girls. I much prefer this age to the toddler years.

Plus, their tantrums usually include flouncing off to their rooms rather than flinging themselves on the floor in Sainsbury’s

I think my SIL knew what she was in for (having been quite a challenge herself as a teen), when my niece (now in her twenties) , had a strop when asked to find her shoes, retorted "You don't know how hard my life is!" She was four at the time......

You did have them knowing they would be teenagers. I'm sure as adults none of you ever behave like twats?

I'm all honesty I think there's a huge lack of empathy here. No wonder so many adults don't have good relationships with their parents. As a teen you are forced to live under the control of parents who often have very different opinions and outlooks.

I know this thread is supposed to be lighthearted but it just seems like there's a lack of respect for them as people.

@Okbussitout 🤣🤣

@Okbussitout
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Okbussitout- do you have teens?
😂😂😂😂😂
They can be hilarious, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them.
Your post is a bit po faced and low on humour.

It’s how parents of teens survive!

It is quite hard to be empathetic to teens whose arms are so weak they can’t empty fluff from a tumble dryer, Okbuss.

Actually now I’m feeling a lot of empathy for you because it must be awful having to deal with all those empathetic feelings all the time when people behave like plonkers. I’m glad I’m stony hearted!

Ok so I think another thing you need to think about is why they find being so rude acceptable. I would never have got away with this and I wasn't from a violent household.

Ok so I think another thing you need to think about is why they find being so rude acceptable

They’re teens and pushing their boundaries. And it’s mostly not really rude it’s just being a teen, and a lot of the time it’s funny.

Lighten up

My DS was the most gorgeous child until he hit 15. I once made DS wash up (by hand, we didn't have a dishwasher then) and he pulled up a dining chair to do it because he was so tired (did nothing all day). He once threatened to call Child Line because I needed to take him to school earlier the next day or he would have to walk (10 blocks) as I had an early meeting.

There was also never any food in the house.

He once hung dirty laundry on the line from the floor rather than the clean from the washer.

It took years and so much stress to get out the other side. His having a part time job whilst studying A levels really helped. He was late to it once because I was at work and the bus was late and he could not believe that his boss didn't understand and was cross because it wàsnt his fault!

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Ok so I think another thing you need to think about is why they find being so rude acceptable

They’re teens and pushing their boundaries. And it’s mostly not really rude it’s just being a teen, and a lot of the time it’s funny.

Lighten up

I just think this thread comes across as really sad and bitter. You are all desperate for children when they're cute babies but know they have thoughts themselves it's too much.

I'm perfectly happy and light thanks I can just recognise toxic behaviour when I see it. Just because everyone moans about their teens and has no respect for them doesn't make it any less toxic.