Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

@VioletCharlotte

This thread has made me feel better and less of a failure as a parent.

DS1 (21) told me this week that "all I ever do is find fault with him and criticise anything he ever does". This is after months of tip toeing around him while he 'finds himself and works out what is purpose is in life' now he's decided to drop out of uni. 'Finding himself' seems to involve mainly playing the XBox. All I did was comment that spending £90 on a 'build you own guitar kit' might not be the best idea when you have no income and a humongous overdraft. But I have apparently damaged his self esteem beyond repair.

DS2 (19) is another one that Knows. Fucking. Everything. Especially anything to do with health and fitness. He spends his time telling me how how I could do so much better with my diet, fitness regime and hydration. This from the boy who pretty much existed on a diet of chicken nuggets and strawberry milkshake until he was 10.

I love them both to bits, but my god I'll be glad when we're not all together in the house all day!

And this has just made me feel better

Ahh the joys of parenting teens

I was talking revision to mine yesterday he's 16.... and he got very upset that thought he should be revising for his tests in a few weeks and angrily told me

What WOULD YOU KNOW YOU DONT EVEN HAVE ANY GCSES

ME: I know darling I have O levels and a degree and I laughed

Que: door slamming stomping

I did laugh for quite a while though 😂😂😂

For what its worth my 13 year old daughter told me yesterday that I will never understand what shes going through hormonally (sp) as her hormones are different to mine

I accused mine of being like a Covid germ. Spikey all over and can mutate into a more dangerous form.

She laughed😲

@Blackcountryexile

In my experience teenage girls are very keen on campaigning for tolerance and the human rights of every on the planet -apart from their mothers!

YES!! 🙌🏻

I have told mine exactly where to shove their environmental awareness until they stop putting empty toilet roll holders in the bin instead of bringing it down to the recycling.

I also refuse point blank to keep their toilet loaded with bog roll. Cue the squeal of anguish yesterday when one of them went to the loo and didn't realise they were completely out until they'd done their business. . .

I do have my little ways. . .

I might have told this before, but when my cousin was 14 my Auntie picked her up from school still (absentmindedly) wearing an apron. My cousin was horrified and had a total meltdown in the car on the way home. My Auntie said nothing.

However, the next day, my Auntie arrived at school pick-up wearing my Uncle's (very large) football kit and wellies, accessorised with a large sunhat and a face like this

My cousin knew when she was beaten and didn't dare breathe a single word. My Auntie is a total legend

@MrsMackesy

Mother

I have also been called by my first name and in a disparaging tone.

I sometimes get Madre 🤷🏼‍♀️

I get called Mummy or Maman (she's doing A Level French) when DD is feeling affectionate. Otherwise, it's Motherrrrrrrrr when I disappoint her, but she knows to say it under her voice, otherwise I switch to the benign, smiling, disinterest and the removal of credit card privileges.

Yes I get Madre too... on a good day

My (then), 17 year old skyped me from her bedroom asking if I could get her a drink..

Me: "why can't you go to the kitchen and get it yourself?"

DD: "I'm studying"

Me: "I'm busy"

DD: " Fiiiine i'll get it myself then!!"

DD leaves bedroom and walks the energy draining 8 ft to the kitchen muttering darkly about "having to do everything around here"

10 years on and we laugh about that particular drama.

"OMG, you're all so mean and like you literally don't even TRY and understand and you literally DO NOTHING all day anyway..."

Stomps off, slams door and leaves thread cos you're all SO MEAN! You and your stupid friends. I'm not going to be ANYTHING LIKE YOU ever! No wonder no one likes you, you've literally got no friends and NO LIFE because you're boring and stupid...

DD told me she can't wait to leave home 'so she has some privacy'.
I see her once a day if I'm lucky...... 😵🤣

No no no I refuse to believe you all! I have two girls aged five and two. I thought they'd stop the tantrumming (tbf the five year old has) and then it'd be into calmer waters.

Please do not tell me that the tantrums return I can't cope

I'm fucked, aren't I?!

Ds1 mentioned to me once that he and his friends were planning to form a band. I made encouraging noises, and asked him what his role in this band was going to be. Bass guitar, he replied.
When I pointed out that he'd never played guitar, he strode out the room accusing me of "always being so negative"

@springtimesunshine not necessarily. Whilst I think all teens have their moments they can also be brilliant company, very funny, interesting and (occasionally) helpful. I would take a house full of teenagers rather than a toddler.

Dd3 does have her moments though. At the moment all disputes are being blamed on me being a middle-aged old bat (my words not hers) . She of course has no hormonal problems what so ever!

I'm getting whiplash nodding along to these

DD always makes a fuss over meal times so I tell her what I'm making and then she decides if she wants it. If not, she sorts herself out.

This evening I CBA cooking so have thrown a Co-op pizza in the oven. The horror from DD that it is Saturday night and instead of takeaway pizza I've got one out of the freezer!

I've not told her that she's the subject of a Mumsnet thread. I have told OH and my mum though

Have checked her arms this morning, definitely looking like normal arms - no wizened skeletal muscle-less poles!

I told mine about the T-Rex Teens that are apparently mutating all over the place. . . her face was a picture.

oh this has made me laugh so much...
I have a 19 yr ds and a 20yr old ds, who are both at uni... but have spent about 5 minutes there before coming home to torment me during Covid..
Because, they both know WAYYYYY more than me on EVERY topic going, top subjects being cooking and world / current affairs.
My 19yr old asked for,... and received a meat thermometer for Xmas! . He insists on testing the temperature of everything I cook to make sure I'm not about to poison him! Despite the fact we've not had any kind of food poisoning , ever.

I used to ‘enjoy’ ds lecturing me on where ld failed in his upbringing when he was doing psychology A level.

I failed at every point apparently.

Not the psychology A level! I share your pain. Really. Truly and deeply. Much biting of the tongue.

DD: You're very controlling today...
Me: I only asked you to put your glass in the dishwasher!
DD: 😤
Me: 🤷🏼‍♀️

My 17 yo is trilingual. I embarrass her in all the languages all the time. She justs rolls her eyes and sighs "oh Mother, you are SOOO uncool"

'I'm getting whiplash nodding along to these'....
My finest moment was when I informed my dcs that people only ever had children so that they became unpaid servants (I had had the cheek to tell them they needed to do some chores). The outrage was on a level to out do the London New Year firework display.

@mbosnz

Not the psychology A level! I share your pain. Really. Truly and deeply. Much biting of the tongue.

Oh shit, one of mine is starting a Psychology A level in September