Early Noughties teen mag ridiculousness

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

Does anyone remember the little nuggets if totally ridiculous advice they’d give you in teen magazines?

I used to be an avid reader of Shout! magazine. The main goal of these magazines seemed to be being popular and having boys notice you obviously, and were filled with totally mad tips on how to achieve these things and not be a ‘geek’ who wasn’t interested. Which is totally inappropriate advice these days, happily.

I remember one was ‘if you are invited to a party, arrive late and leave early! You are a social butterfly who has had to squeeze the party in between other engagements’

Happily I HAD been invited to a party in my local pub function room that very weekend! I spent a long time applying glitter hair mascara to my fringe to make it clump together attractively (why) and I think I even had on one of those fetching skirt with trousers combos with a vest top from Tammy girl. I got my dad to drive round the block a bit so I could try to be late, but it didn’t take very long and I think I turned up at ten minutes after the start time. I had a few dances to All Saints and Steps and drank a couple of cans of Coke and an hour before it was due to finish, I did a big show of having to rush off.

Now, we lived in a very small town. There was NO WAY any other parties were happening on the same night. But desperately trying to stick to my social butterfly narrative I said goodbye and off I went.

I sat round the corner in the bus shelter until it was time to get picked up. While everyone else was having a nice time at the party

What a knob! When I got to school on the Monday everyone was saying it was rude to leave the party early and I felt like such an idiot.

Can anyone remember any more of the ridiculous things they used to spout in these magazines? I’d love to get my hands one now as I think it would be hilarious

@millievanille yes the flow charts!!! I always eonder why I was such an insecure teen so upset about spots, no boobs and boys liking me, now maybe I know why!

I also remember being in 6th form in the late 80s/v early 90s and reading in magazines about the importance of skin care and treating your 'T zone' (which seemed to be more of an arrow shape olong the nose and across the cheeks). I bought myself a bodyshop tea tree oil stick and used it on what I assumed was the T zone before bed. That was the day that I discovered I am allergic to tea tree oil- I woke up with bright red stripes on my face like a sort of psychotic version of Adam Ant's make-up. I didn't even have problem skin that needed to be treated.

[quote Allington]@CherryValanc yes, it raises so many questions - we really needed the milkshake recipe and diameter of the straw... [/quote]
What if it was a McDonald's milkshake? I think your head wouod turn inside out from the sucking effort!

I had Wella Colour Mousse. It was supposed to be the reddish brown that was fashionable in the 90s, but I applied it to my light blonde hair and it ended up bright red. I still thought I looked cool and daring, sashaying through the park with my tiny little backpack on, until a group of lads started shouting at me that I looked like a match. I was very skinny and pale to be fair.

You could get wash in-wash out colour too, couldn't you? I think they came in sachets - Shaders and Toners possibly was the name.

Also one in a triangular packet - Harmony, maybe?

I used to use those a lot. possibly more than I used glitter. Which is saying something.

I've still never had a milkshake. It's a worry I've got the suction wrong all this time.

I very much remember Minx magazine. It was great. I was sad when it ceased publication.

It had articles you didn’t see anywhere else. Like, what other girls spent their money on. One wrote for the magazine. Apart from obvious stuff like a travelcard (blast from the past: pre Oyster cards) she bought 20 fags a day from the corner shop (“nothing if not consistent”) and often picked up a pack of Birds Eye crispy chicken at the same time. Also she spent £20 on a birthday present for a friend (“she’d better be grateful”).

There was another one in which Polly Vernon talked about having been called ‘posh’ at school, and now she wished that people still thought she was posh. And why having a VPL wasn’t such a bad thing.

The Minx articles felt more honest than in other magazines, which were trying to be aspirational but made you feel as if you weren’t the right sort of girl and should try harder.

The other thing Minx did well was affordable fashion. The other mags I read in my twenties used to drive me insane with their fabulously expensive fashion pages. New Woman for one. They actually had some good articles at one time, but their fashion pages would feature designer stuff and I’d think, this is just wank for the fashion editor who wants to pretend she works at Vogue or Marie Claire and ‘call in’ Gucci dresses that her readers haven’t a hope of buying.

Which was a shame because New Woman had some good writers doing stuff for them.one article was about women in Bristol who were affiliated with Class War and what made them behave as they did. Another was about whether you could meet a boyfriend by calling a load of tradesmen to the house (plumbers, electricians etc) and waiting with your friends, all dressed up to the nines, with a house decorated for a party, and offering them a drink. The description of the men’s reactions was hilarious. Magazines seem very unimaginative now!

I used to get all these passed down to me via an older friend and absolutely lapped them up all up. I used to put a tick next to the clothes I wanted on the fashion pages 😂 and hoped my mum wouldn't read the problem page! My favourite bits were the 'models tips' and the makeovers where a group of friends would get a new look and the hairstyles always had the obligatory two strands of loose hair at the front!

I remember reading one about how to levitate, which was utterly ridiculous! Really, if I remember correctly it was just really giving instructions on how to reach a meditative state.

As an adult with a daughter, I'm actually appalled by what I used to read.

@namesnamesnamesnames

As an adult with a daughter, I'm actually appalled by what I used to read.

Yes, but tbh I'm more appalled by what young people are exposed to online today than what we read in our teen Mags of the past. Far more graphic, worrying and disturbing than position of the week etc which seems tame in comparison.

@namesnamesnamesnames

As an adult with a daughter, I'm actually appalled by what I used to read.

They were sexism ‘lite’ compared to what’s online these days..

I was in J17. Quite a big feature as I won a competition - three pages, a lot of time spent with their editor and a few journalists in advance. Still have a copy floating around and my god it makes me nostalgic.
Got to meet Sara manning, which as a diary of a crush fan was pretty epic.
I loved those magazines.

I remember gradual tanning lotion being a fairly novel thing and reading about it in a magazine, I was so excited to do PE that week thinking I'd look 'in' with the other girls now I had a 'light, natural glow'. The mag hadn't given any advice for application so I just slapped it on- it was really streaky and I got laughed at. I then spent my lunchtime desperately trying to wash it off in the least-frequented toilet block

@CherryValanc

You could get wash in-wash out colour too, couldn't you? I think they came in sachets - Shaders and Toners possibly was the name.

Also one in a triangular packet - Harmony, maybe?

I used to use those a lot. possibly more than I used glitter. Which is saying something.

Oh yes I remember these! I was always disappointed that none of them seemed to show up on dark brown hair. My dark haired friend had better success (in terms of altering her hair colour) by using about 25 billion applications of sun in.(i think I was too lazy to go to those lengths!)

Anyone remember sponsored 24 hour fasts? There was always a sponsor form/envelop in these magazines in the early 90’s. It was also around the same time anorexia was starting to be talked too!
I remember doing it with my friends and we were around 12/13! Pretty crazy to think about that now!

Love reading the replies! I would religiously buy Shout and occasionally Just17 and Mizz for a bit (also felt reckless for being 14/15 and not 17!)
I remember a Collection 2000 lipstick freebie in a coffee colour which lasted me literally years.
One article that stands out in memory was about appropriate outfits to wear on a date, and they had different scenarios where the girl would carefully choose the ensemble and then it would get mildly critiqued by a boy! 😂 E.g. I chose these trousers to feel comfortable but a nice top with a bit of sparkle and heels to make an effort". And the boy would be drawn to whatever was "fun" looking but not OTT. I recall picking up that boys prefer skirts to trousers.
A lot of "what boys really think" articles, and I loved the "embarrassing stories" pages for some reason!
I once wrote in to Shout's agony aunt page. Lets just say I feel the same way now as I did then - follow your instincts and dreams. Sadly all of that innocence disappeared fairly quickly but Shout always holds a special place in my heart.

@MeowPurrGrr ooh yeah we did one of those, actually arranged through school, to make you think about what it was like to be starving! We were 13. Naturally, we loaded up on pizza and chips the night before, stayed up late, slept until 11 and spent the day lounging about watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch, it passed quickly and before we knew it we could eat again! Certainly didn’t make us think about poor actually starving people but oh how we bragged that we’d ‘fasted’ all day and not given food a single thought as we virtuously collected up our sponsor monies!

Vaseline as 'clear eyeshadow'
WHAT must we all have looked like...

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@MeowPurrGrr ooh yeah we did one of those, actually arranged through school, to make you think about what it was like to be starving! We were 13. Naturally, we loaded up on pizza and chips the night before, stayed up late, slept until 11 and spent the day lounging about watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch, it passed quickly and before we knew it we could eat again! Certainly didn’t make us think about poor actually starving people but oh how we bragged that we’d ‘fasted’ all day and not given food a single thought as we virtuously collected up our sponsor monies! [/quote]
As was beautifully recalled in an early episode of Derry Girls, IIRC .

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@MeowPurrGrr ooh yeah we did one of those, actually arranged through school, to make you think about what it was like to be starving! We were 13. Naturally, we loaded up on pizza and chips the night before, stayed up late, slept until 11 and spent the day lounging about watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch, it passed quickly and before we knew it we could eat again! Certainly didn’t make us think about poor actually starving people but oh how we bragged that we’d ‘fasted’ all day and not given food a single thought as we virtuously collected up our sponsor monies! [/quote]
We went into town and decided McDonalds milkshakes were ok to drink so we drank them all day and yes then collected our sponsor money for ‘starving’ all day!

Anyone remember sponsored 24 hour fasts?

Ah yes, the 24 hour famines. An excellent way of encouraging eating disorders...

I loved Shout magazine in the late 90’s as a preteen. I was selected to do a product testing for clear mascara. Got my hair and make up done and photoshoot and was paid £10 one of the highlights of my childhood. I lost the magazine issue I was in years ago, would love to find it again .

@CherryValanc

You could get wash in-wash out colour too, couldn't you? I think they came in sachets - Shaders and Toners possibly was the name.

Also one in a triangular packet - Harmony, maybe?

I used to use those a lot. possibly more than I used glitter. Which is saying something.

Yes!! Shaders and Toners! Why don't they still make these

I LOVED wash in wash out colours!!! They cost a £1 and I’d put one in every Sunday night.

And that Wella colour mousse that came in about 8 colours that all turned your hair orange.