Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

[IMissFrance]

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again.

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

• whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

When I have a wee I touch (the lightest possible) the small of my back above my bum crack- - it's starts the wee off, and sometimes help get the last bit out.

Have this too, nobody is allowed to touch me there. I rarely use it though, unless I really need to go but can't.

Also, if using the loo at work, I wastefully put a wad of tissue down the loo first so that i can pee silently. I also do the stop/start pee thing if someone comes in, and will hold for the 'air dryer' because heaven forbid i should have bodily functions.

If my belly button feels itchy I think oh good, might be cheesy. I used to clean it with cotton buds and have a good look at the cheese on the end of the bud then sniff it.

If I went to sleep with an itchy belly button, I used to look forward to how much cheesy discharge would be there in the morning and how it had slightly crystallised on my skin overnight.

If i do a really big poo (thanks to eating bran flakes every day for breakfast) i have to push on my right bum cheek to help it on its way. I too have cheesy ear piercing aroma, but no gunk. I also get a big spot every month on my mons pubis like the one a pp mentioned. I spotted a moustache hair/bristle/wayward pube on my top lip this afternoon in the loo at work. It wasnt there this morning.

If I'm mega desperate for the loo, I can 'keep it in' by pressing my bum cheek in hard.

It's useful after a 2 hour Teams call at the moment!

@Imissthegym

There was a thread about achy fannies the other day and everyone told the poster they must have a prolapse. I get this but I don’t have a prolapse so I presume it’s everything being a bit looser post kids?

I pooed with my first. With my second I spent a lot of early labour shitting and being sick and the midwives were like “she’s having a clear out, baby won’t be long”.

I also grow eyelashes in the corner of my eyes. I have to pluck them out. I’ve not met anyone else that does that.

@Imissthegym omg. I thought I was a freak and thought I was the only one. I have to tweeze them out very regularly! Would you like to start a club ? 😂

@Catfromjapan I sometimes say that I smell
Cooked when I have been in the sun. It's a distinctive smell, usually on my arms. I tan really easily

@MisiSam - I used to get that stabbing bum pain during period, but not anymore.

My arse is flat and slowly making its way down the back of my thighs and I don't get hair stuck in it post shower, so I wonder if it's a pitfall of a perkier/rounder bottom?

I had a slow labour at home over a few days with DS where I shit for England, then was nil by mouth on a drip, so I don't think I did during his labour/birth (DP assures me that I didn't, but he would). I free birthed DD and DP missed it, so can categorically say that I didn't, there was nobody there to remove anything!

I also have that skin tag on my anus, which has been joined by piles since having the DC no more anal for me.

I love a good zit/pore/piercing squeeze. I trade with DP for his as well (blowjob if he lets me dig the ingrowing bead hair out of his chin etc). Anyone else spend time they don't have spare binge watching Dr Pimple Popper?

I have a beard and sideburns growing beautifully. Stealthy fuckers start off white, then when they've got to a decent length, turn black so everyone else sees them before I do! I now sit on an evening stroking my chin and cheeks, feeling for whiskers! I'm also developing a hairy chest. I'm only 32, wasn't expecting this for another decade.

I can't pee and poo at the same time. I wee first, then poo. Tried doing both at the same time after discussion with a friend, followed by asking DM we have zero boundaries resulted in the realisation that other people just park their arse on the loo and let it all go!

My clitoral hood disappeared during my first birth. No idea where it went! Had one big enough it needed holding out of the way for stimulation, now my clitoris is completely exposed, with barely any loose skin around/above it. Complete mystery!!!

@Charmatt don't do that! Sooner or later it'll cause you problems that are not pleasant to resolve!

@MisiSam

Sometimes I will get a pain like someone has stabbed me up the bum, only lasts a second and it's really sharp!

I get that occasionally!

It's usually followed by an enormous fart a few minutes later.

@MisiSam

Sometimes I will get a pain like someone has stabbed me up the bum, only lasts a second and it's really sharp!

I believe this is known as 'javelin arse'

@janaih I only do it to stand up and go - I don't spend hours with my hand pressed into my bum cheek to keep it in all day!

@Outdoorsywithgin

Georgyporky "I was given an enema when birth was imminent; is this not done now? Also shaved, which seemed quite unnecessary."

When did you give birth? The 1950's?

Same here! Last baby 1977!

Does anyone else get an achey shooting pain their legs when they're scared, or scared for someone else? I get it a lot when I get scared of heights or watching DS trying to hurtle himself off things.

I've never met another person who has it, I must be weird.

Have name changed for this ........

Anyone else orgasm in their sleep?
Anyone else orgasm while giving birth?

Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes

@MisiSam

Sometimes I will get a pain like someone has stabbed me up the bum, only lasts a second and it's really sharp!

Javelin arse. Bloody painful.

Twitchy legs? Does anyone else kick in their sleep? Apparently I'm like a donkey?
Oh my chin hairs are sprouting, I'm 35! Fucks sake.
Nipple hair too.
I like my smelly dogs ears, the smell is disgusting but, can I stop sniffing it?? Noooope! :)

@Baublebox

Does anyone elses vagina store up bath water and then release it at some time after you have gotten out of the bath (usually just after you have put clean pyjamas on)? Or do I just have a massive fanny?

This happens to me too!! Haha I just thought I had a baggy fanny.

@rosegoldivy

I fuckin live for threads like this.

Guilty of pulling hair out of my arse crack.
Also guilty for fishing fluff out my belly button.

Didn't pop in labour but I defo pissed myself, the midwife said it was my waters but I was like no I'm defo doing this on purpose.

Does anyone else get satisfaction of pulling a really good bogey out there nose?

Love a good bogie. I got a really satisfying one the other day which was perfect, ginormous and squishy (without being stringy) 😂😂

I hate heights. If something comes on the tv and shows someone walking to the edge of a balcony, cliff edge, etc. my whole nether regions clench up which is horribly uncomfortable. I close my eyes and ask OH to tell me when that part of a scene is over.

@mamaatthegym I came here to say 'stress pooing' even if I have just poo'd and then something stressful happens I'm straight back on the loo.

Does anyone else get what I can only describe as really burning hot farts. They start at the back and work their way right underneath and up the front- then it all stings.

Does anyone else get tingly fingers when reading or watching an emotional scene? I also have to leave the room or put my book down if something cringy happens to a character, I get embarrassed for them

@Sporranrummager no... but at least you can orgasm it's a rare feat to even get myself there, a lover (or sleep or pregnancy ) don't stand a chance.
I would definitely swap!!

Yes in I can O my sleep, I've had some great dream shags 🤣