My husband received something very strange in the post ...

[OnSilverStars]

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

Thank you for keeping me entertained tody, OP!

Someone will no doubt resurrect the thread in a year or two to chastise you for reading his mail

@Wheresmykimchi I was replying to a PPs question

I agree though you can tend to tell what gender someone is by their handwriting

I think you can have feminine writing which is more swirly and masculine writing which is more straight lined (if that makes sense) but I don’t think you can tell which gender wrote it as I know many males with more feminine writing than most females and vice versa.

Brilliant! In my long history of optician visits it's always been " now we have reached the trees, the beautiful trees!"

That might have been less worrying!

I'm just relieved most people were interested in what it could be and thinking maybe JWs rather than it being the usual 'Sorry, he's definitely having an affair, LTB!!!!' response for anyone raising anything that might even vaguely question their relationship.

He's lucky MN didn't lead to you being in the middle packing your (or his) bags when he got home!

Surely they should have sent him driving directions to Barnard Castle!

THAT is the only proper eye test.

@Bluesheep8

According to the Postal Services Act 2000, it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse.

There we are. It's illegal. Unless a woman's handwriting on the envelope is a reasonable excuse

It’s only illegal if there is malicious intent.

@OnSilverStars

So for those who haven't seen my update.

It was an eye test for work. 🙈🤣

Sent out by a lady who didn't think to include what it was.

I've told my husband my brain jumped to cheating and we laughed.

He though he was being stalked by a serial killer.

It's been a LONG boring year!

Most excitement we've had

Brilliant!! 🤣🤣🤣

YABU - see what he says. The essay is on improving a marriage - can't be bad! 😂

I got something in a handwritten envelope today. It said Dear Neighbour. Inside was done printed letter but I scanned and saw the words Jehovah's Witness and threw it in the bin. Shall I get it out again?

Oh I see the mystery is solved

[quote SciFiScream]@babbaloushka I'm off to find out more about differences in writing! I was a PP who said that people can't tell my writing apart from my DH's. Small sample of 2 though!

I wonder if it means my writing is more masculine or his is more feminine?

I'm fascinated by it. I'd have put money on it being one of those "neutral" things and all dependent on when and where you learned joined up writing but this thread has proved otherwise. I fancy taking photos of our writing and sharing it here to see what people say. [/quote]
New thread please! Put up a photo of your handwriting and your dps and we’ll all take a stab at whose is whose.

Brilliant thread op.

OP I think you’re measured reaction (after rightly being slightly weirded out by it) is right. It’s definitely odd, my immediate suspicion would be stalker or someone who is mentally ill and possibly fixated on your husband - but not cheating.

Also I can identify female writing the majority of the time & don’t give a fuck if that offends people because that’s just a fact of life (but can think of at least two male friends with very ‘female’ writing, both artists as it happens). Also DH & I are happy in an entirely consensual way to open each other’s post, TBH if I didn’t his wouldn’t get opened.

So all in all, glad to see you feel reassured and would be fascinated to see if you find out what on earth it’s all about - please update if so!

So glad it's all resolved and turned out to have a decent explanation.

Interesting to read the comments about the JW, though, I thought it was just us who were being targeted! We missed their visit the other day, sadly, and they had to leave us a letter with a handwritten envelope, so they missed out on the combined wisdom of a Presbyterian and a Wiccan/New Ager/lapsed High Anglican. (My dad, who was a dyed in the wool atheist who nevertheless believed in ghosts due to several odd experiences, used to enjoy a bit of healthy debate on the doorstep when he was bored.)

When I was a lot younger and used to care what others thought, I also had handwritten envelopes shoved in the letterbox advertising diet loss pills a few times. Never did find out who was responsible for that one...

Just got in from work to see your update OP. That is so funny

Jokes aside you should now prepare yourselves for a knock from DCI Burnside in relation to offences breaching the Postal Services Act 2000.

It's weird how some people are so horrified at post-opening. My parents were a bit like this, like a person's post is some sacred thing not to be touched by anyone but them. Me and DH open each others' post. It's not a big deal in the slightest. I can't remember the last paper letter either of us got that wasn't a bill or update on bank account interest rates or whatever.

Also never knew that gendering handwriting was such a thing, or that disagreeing that it's so cut and dry makes you "woke". I guess some people do have really feminine or masculine handwriting, but of everyone I know their handwriting is just... handwriting. I don't think most look any more female or male than the others.

Oh brilliant! At least the mystery is solved and you told us, didn't leave us in limbo never knowing the answer!

When I was with my ex we opened each other's post all the time. Obvious exceptions were birthday cards. And the vast majority of it was bills/junk etc. We had a joint account so no surprises about money stashes. Unfortunately.

And no strange eye tests.

Glad to hear it was innocent.

And it was definitely female writing? Did you age it correctly too?

I do think that some handwriting looks distinctly more female or male - and often fits with the gender of the writer, so I understand the OP’s ascertain on that one.
I would always confront someone in person rather than by message or phone - much easier to assess their reaction and doesn’t afford him time to think up a suitable response.
I have no experience of the JW letter....you need to talk to him and perhaps do some more digging before he gets back from work.
I hope there is an innocent explanation 🤞🍀

Sorry! Just seen the update - phew!!

Great ending, op!

I would have been suspicious too OP.
In fact, I would still be slightly suspicious.
When I have had an eye test at work they didn't send out a photocopied essay on marriage.

Haven't read all of post...but find there is always a cliff hanger ...will see what happens later ,tomorrow etc etc