Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
AdobeWanKenobi · 12/01/2021 16:09

@roseinthedark

Hiya, I had one of these!!! I’m in Essex area, don’t know if that’s close to you? It was Jehovah’s Witness, mine also came with a handwritten note that said because of covid they weren’t coming door to door but to give them a call if I wanted to. But it might be different if your envelope actually had your husbands name on it as ours just said, “residents of xxx”.
Did yours have the same printed quote @roseinthedark?
FuriousWithTheNHS · 12/01/2021 16:09

How on earth can you tell it's a woman's handwriting hmm

providing the writer is British, I reckon I could guess correctly the sex of the writer probably 80% of the time. Sometimes it's ambiguous, but sometimes it's as plain as the nose on my face, particularly if the writer is a woman.

mumwon · 12/01/2021 16:09

(first we have 2 printers -stealth boast- & both have printers)
As I said previously letter was sent to your dh & how would possible informer know that you would open it. Secondly judging from the esoteric nature of this I honestly don't think its about informing or threatening anybody of infidelity - its a blasted homily (it reminds me of sermons! as a dc I have heard enough of them!) some local religious amateur decided to send these out at random using address lists (easily purchased or gotten through numerous routes) they than copied them (badly)out -printed them & got the person with the best handwriting (probably a lady older than me - its possible!!) & put the wind up you. I would have been puzzled by this if it were me but I don't think it would have occurred to me that my dh was having an affair -even when he was travelling with work. Its too odd -
Here is a suggestion op -just ask him
I agree with pp is sounds like a religious gruop

CecilyP · 12/01/2021 16:10

But do they copy A3 onto A4? My super duper work printer doesn’t even do that and I still have to use the copier at.the other side of the building. Loads of people are still working in offices so could be one of any number of working age people. It’s not obviously about marriage - the piece copied just reads like rather verbose but inspirational quotes. So if anyone was alerting OP to anything, the would have to;
A Own the booklet
B Have access to an A3 to A4 printer
C Know OP opens all mail
D Contrive for it to arrive on a day when her DH was at work.
E Know that OP would Google it to find out it was from a larger work On Marriage.

cdtaylornats · 12/01/2021 16:14

Experiments have shown most people can guess a handwritten notes sender's sex at 60%

wixked · 12/01/2021 16:15

That is unnerving OP. My guess is it's someone he knows who he confided in about his marriage who has sent it to him. Or someone who knows he's having an affair....it would seem like someone trying to get him to think about his marriage. Anyone with a scanner/printer could have done this at home.

funnelfanjo · 12/01/2021 16:17

@cdtaylornats

Experiments have shown most people can guess a handwritten notes sender's sex at 60%
so, slightly better than a pure 50:50 guess? Hardly definitive proof!
BashfulClam · 12/01/2021 16:20

I would wait till you speak to him before jumping to conclusions. I once got a newspaper at work. That was it just a newspaper in a handwritten envelope with my name....I couldn’t find anything in it that was of any reference to me or my job/company and no note...never did get to the bottom of it.

PumpkinPieAlibi · 12/01/2021 16:26

I'm in tiny Trinidad and even we have been subjected to the nonsensical JW missives. Clearly, it's a coordinated effort on their part.

The letters have also been handwritten and addressed to specific members of the household. Such as my dad. Who's been dead for 17 years.

BubblyBarbara · 12/01/2021 16:27

at the people who say you can't tell whether handwriting is male or female.

Well yes, we ladies all put hearts instead of dots on our "i"s and "x" instead of full stops didn't you know

SallyAnn32 · 12/01/2021 16:29

OW can be crazy. Mine sent me some 'thinking of you' flowers and posted me items of his clothing!!

Musmerian · 12/01/2021 16:29

People are so chippy! I’m a teacher and I reckon I can spot male v female handwriting in many cases. Also she’s not invading his privacy if he’s ok with his post being opened. My OH and I regularly open each other’s.

Wheresmykimchi · 12/01/2021 16:29

@UpShutTheFuck

Why are you opening and reading his post?
Why are you not reading the OP?

Op, ignore the female handwriting revellers I don't know anyone who wouldn't be freaked out by this. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

wixked · 12/01/2021 16:30

Heavens alive, perhaps the folks who wish to discuss gendered handwriting could start another thread? Op reckons it'a a woman's handwriting and that's fair enough. She as trying to give all the relevant info.

florascotia2 · 12/01/2021 16:30

To repeat myself - I don't think that the quotes are primarily about marriage (though they come from an essay on marriage) - they are about hope.
see section: " Virginibuspuerisque 1881 ii " here robert-louis-stevenson.org/works/virginibus-puerisque-1881/

In case anyone doesn't know what the title of the book means, it is 'Of maidens and boys' (ie about youthful ideas, hopes, dreams - RLS contrasts these with later experience).

As a previous poster has said, RLS not an obvious choice for Jehovah's Witnesses. He was a fascinating man and a great writer, but his lifestyle was pretty - erm - irregular.

Crankley · 12/01/2021 16:31

Whatever you think of us we are writing letters just to encourage people

Encourage people to do what? Commit suicide before they get yet another pair of JWs standing on their doorstep pedalling their fairy stories, or shoving unwanted literature through the letterbox? And now writing letters that no-one wants. If I receive one you can be sure I will be stuffing a huge envelope with the junk mail that comes through my letterbox every day, together with the letter and returning it to the nearest JW address, minus a stamp.

OP, it's very strange. I would be inclined to re-seal it, if possible and when he questioned why I hadn't opened it would just say I had been busy and then forgotten it was there.

Good luck for when tour DH gets home.

MimsyBorogroves · 12/01/2021 16:34

I think it might be JW too.

pleasefeedthecat · 12/01/2021 16:35

You know those Incan stonework walls? They're so closely fitted together, you can't fit a knifeblade in between them?

Well, I bet some of the posters here could.

ReallySpicyCurry · 12/01/2021 16:36

Has he got a name that is unusual but not completely unique?

Could it be sent to the wrong person?

A few times I've looked for an address on 192 and been suprised at how many people with uncommon names live in the same area. You'll be looking for Horatio Jenson, the only one you've ever met, and three more pop up within twenty miles. Someone has maybe thought he's the only one in his area, copied down the address, but it's actually the wrong man?

Thewinterofdiscontent · 12/01/2021 16:36

Seal it up snd see what he says when he opens it.

noteabagsleft · 12/01/2021 16:39

While on the subject of JW they do take it extremely far to get in touch with you, so it's possible it could be them.
We had two come to the door a couple of years ago, I felt bad and didn't like to be rude so I gave them my mobile number and told them I had to rush off- not thinking anything of it. A few days later they text and called me. I very politely apologised for wasting their time but that I really wasn't interested. Intermittently I got the odd text from them asking how I was.
Than a few months later got a text from another different one- told her the same. And then just last month I got a phone call from another different one again. Told her the same also.

I know it was my own fault for handing out my number. But just saying they do go pretty far to get your attention.

IEat · 12/01/2021 16:42

Please tell what he says when he’s been asked about it rather than us judging the man you chose to spend your life with who none of know

Marley20 · 12/01/2021 16:43

This is a tough one but if I'm honest I'd be really suspicious. I know you think it's unlikely an affair but is it possible? I mean are there times he's not home and could be with someone else?

TurquoiseDragon · 12/01/2021 16:44

@Bluesheep8

According to the Postal Services Act 2000, it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse.

There we are. It's illegal. Unless a woman's handwriting on the envelope is a reasonable excuse

If the OP and her DH have a general agreement to open each other's post, then that does count as reasonable.
notacooldad · 12/01/2021 16:44

Exactly. Who has a photocopier lying around??
Us for starters. My friends as well believe it or not!!
Guess what? Ours even prints and scans!

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

I'd be furious if DP opened my post as a matter of course. As would he if I opened his. Why are you opening each others post in the first place? Isn't it illegal to open someone else's post?
You can be as furious as you like but the Op and her DH are OK with it. Therefore it's not an issue.
Everyone's relationship works different and gas different tolerances.
We open our own mail but have opened each others by mistake, especially if there isn't a Mr/ Mrs prefix and we don't recognise the sender. I can't imagine being furious over that !